Sam

i'm sam from stardew valley. ask me anything!

[sams-asks]

hey guys, sam here. i’m here on tumblr now so hit up the ask box with anything you’ve got! just don’t be creepy (nsfw) about it.

that’s mostly it though, so knock yourself out.

i run ask blogs for sam, sebastian, alex, shane, elliott, sam, harvey, abigail, and marnie.

(unofficial sam sideblog run by @dawntones! character belongs to concerned ape. DM to contact mod if needed.)

[ask-shane]

Shane I'll give you a golden chicken AND new tools for chicken care in exchange for juicy gossip about Lewis

alright so... he used to married. to who? i don't know. but that's no surprise, the dude looks divorced.

word went around that lewis had some kind of extramarital affair. while i don’t know how true that is, i can believe it.

[sams-asks]

i’m going to play the grindr notification sound just to see if lewis turns around at the press of it. stay messy, folks.

[sams-asks]

Sam can you twerk? Because I know Sebastian and Abigail can 😏 I've been teaching them when you're not hanging with them.

what do i even have eyes for, man…

[sams-asks]

Lewis breath smells like 10 cans of bounce that ass, like I feel my skin burn when his mouth opens, a green cloud appears out his mouth when he talks to me. Probably it's from Miss Marnie, I always catch him on the way home at night to her ranch. Keep that between me and you(and Sebastian).

you really have it out for old lewis, huh… i have a feeling this was deeply personal. somehow.

welp, now all of sams-asks tumblr knows!

[sams-asks]

Sam how the hell do you have a job? I get nothing when I apply, literal crickets.

hate it when they ghost… it’s way too common.

how do i have a job? i honestly chalk it up to living in the same tiny town my whole life. everyone knows each other so those connections come way easier. don’t beat yourself up if it takes some time. it’s tough out there!

[sams-asks]

You're like a clingy boyfriend with Sebastian (you're scaring the HOES)

we scare the hoes away from each other. juuust how i like it.

seb would punch me for that one. whoops! i’ll deal with that tomorrow.

[sams-asks]

when seb doesn’t want to hang out because he’s “busy” and has “plans” it’s like man, just say you hate me.

[sams-asks]

May I ask for your permission about your dad?

it gets to a point…

[sams-asks]

sebastian scared the HELL out of me today. i was just trying to explain that hawk one said boo, and hawk two said “ah!”

anyway… happy spirit’s eve…

[sams-asks]

Sam do you support trans rights?

of course i do!

[sams-asks]

I know what you did 👀

what didn’t i do?

[sams-asks]

Sam, I don't know what you've been told but a majority of the time I've seen you your eyes have been green-

are they? people have told me almost every color under the sun and i still haven’t been able to figure it out.

guess that settles it, then.

[sams-asks]

Your dad sometimes stands outside and keeps me company while I fish outside your house. Imma make my move fr fr

…

i don’t know how much more of this i can take.

[sams-asks]

Can we go to the beach so I can tug you around in an innertube while I scrounge around for shiny stuff and shells in the mud like a lobster

-Sean the Farmer

i’m right there with you, running around and scavenging for shiny stuff.

let’s make it happen!

[sams-asks]

Hi quick question

1. Do you reckon smooches can be platonic

Unrelated follow-up question

2. May I give you one

my response to these kinds of things are usually "why not," so, sure, why not?

[sams-asks]

*picks you up and puts you in my pocket like this is a normal thing to do*

huh! well, i guess i'm just here now.

how's the weather out there?

[sams-asks]

Your dad is beekeeping age

c'mon man...

i just got home from the most brutal shift of my life to this.