Day fucking whatever (day 384)
Night update: fucking horrible. I’ve had constant anxiety attacks for the past four days and I can’t sleep. I spent all night crying in the bathroom so Remy won’t try to kill me.
I don’t even know why that is, I just... no, actually I do know what it is. I haven’t had time to see my therapist in almost two months.
You can judge me all you want but she’s had conferences and shit and when she was here I’ve had other shit to do that really came over my time seeing her and nobody really paid any attention to if I’m seeing her or not, and nobody really assigned me any replacement for the time being. Remy went to management about it but nobody really cares. I don’t know why. I’m guessing it’s because it’s been a hectic month for everyone.
The others are doing pretty okay. Patton is putting all his energy into wedding plans and Roman... well, he didn’t get a call back. But it’s okay. He’s already preparing for the next role. Remy and Em are okay, they’re not... well, they’re more stable than most inpatient relationships (I’m talking about Remy not Emile) I’ve seen but there’s a lot of bullshit going on and I can’t ask because Remy won’t tell me. Believe me I tried. Something that has to do with Em’s job or something like that.
Logan is on the same boat as I am. He’s been in solitary a couple days ago and he’s unstable as fuck, in a really bad way. We help each other. He got into this color matching bubble game and he can sorta disappear for hours playing that game. It’s almost like he isn’t here when he does. And I’m just... yeah, I’m just here.
I finally get to see my therapist again though. And I’m very ready.
I’m gonna ask someone to update later for me. I hope Patpat would. I have to go now.
~ Virgil.