San Francisco Cronukle

San Francisco News a'translerated inta Redneck!

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Reds looking for new starting rotation

Cincinnati Reds’ Joey Votto is back heelthy, but t'Reds ope spryun' tranen wit acoupla ope spots n' thar startin rotashun.(Photo: AP)Stery HighlightsOutfielt'r Reet Johnsen has agreet ta a miner leegue contrack wit t'Miami MarlinsMasahiro Tanaka threw fer 34 minnuts un level groun n' his'n furst ...

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A-Rod says he’s sorry, but doesn’t detail what for

Alex Rodriguez issuet a fife-paragraph han'ritte apology “fer t'mistakes at let ta my suspension” un Tuesdee without detaileeun' specifics about his'n use o'performunts-enhancyun' drugs. Reddy ta repert back ta t'Yankees aft'r a seesen-long suspension fer vio...

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Biogenesis 'mastermind’ Anthony Bosch gets 4-year prison term

MIAMI — T' ferm'r own'r o'a Flerida medicull clinic who poset as a docter an' illegallee suppliet steroid injectyuns an' uther performunts-enhancyun' drugs ta professyunal baseball players an' eve high skool athletes wuz santencet Tuesdee ta fer yeers n' fedral prisen. ...

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Zito back for another try by the bay with A’s

T' Big Three don’t go away easilee. Thay won a combinet 482 games, struck out a combinet 4,733 batters, wurked a combinet 6,8862/3 innings an' made a combinet $279,917,500. And keep a'kummin back ta t'Bay Area fer mer. Mark Mult'r, y...

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Ex-Danville high school principal covered up sex abuse, suit says

A ferm'r Danville high skool principal coverd up saxual abuse by a gurls basketball coach n' t'1980s an' allowd 'im ta finish t'seesen, accerdyun' ta a lawsuit filet Tuesdee by t'coach’s alleget victim. Sherinne Wilsen, 49, o'Santa Rosa sed she wuz repeetedlee m...

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Jose Antonio Vargas launches new media venture with LA Times

LOS ANGELES (AP) – Pulitz'r Prize-a'winnin journalist an' immigrashun activist Jose Antonio Vargas is partneryun' wit T' Los Angeles Times ta launch a new media ventchur at will explere race an' t'evolvyun' Amurkin idantitee. T' Times reperts...

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Sports names and faces: Doug Baldwin, David Beckham

Doug Baltwin T' Seehawks’ receiv'r drew tenchun fer all t'rong reesons n' t'Sup'r Bowl wen his'n torlett-humer touchdown celebrashun — he simulatid sittin un a torlett an' droppet t'football und'r 'im — resultid n' a 15-yard penaltee. Un Mundie, t'Stanferd alum sp...

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Did NSA plant spyware in computers shipped abroad?

By BRan'ON BAILEYAP Technology Riter SAN FRANCISCO (AP) – Did t'Nashshunal Securty Agency plant spyware deep n' t'hard drives o'thousan's o'computers uset by forn gummints, banks an' uther targets und'r surveillance abroad? A new repert frum Russiun...

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BlackBerry again sues Ryan Seacrest startup over iPhone keyboard accessory

NEW YORK, N.Y. – Smartfone mak'r BlackBerry has revivet a legal battle agin a startup co-foundet by Ryun Seecrest, a'sayn't its ifone keyboard rips off t'design frum BlackBerry phones’ physical keyboards.BlackBerry Ltd. won a preliminree injuncshun las year agin Typo...

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BlackBerry again sues Ryan Seacrest startup over keyboards

NEW YORK (AP) – Smartfone mak'r BlackBerry has revivet a legal battle agin a startup co-foundet by Ryun Seecrest, a'sayn't its ifone keyboard rips off t'design frum BlackBerry phones’ physical keyboards. BlackBerry Ltd. won a preliminree injuncshun...

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Visa wants to track your smartphone to combat fraud

gallery_thumbnails_photo|photo-7538090|articull-gallery-6085910|1 CaptyunClose Visa wonts ta track its customers’ smartfones ta knoe wen a credit card is legitimatelee uset n' l...

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Most visited National Park site? It’s our own GGNRA

gallery_thumbnails_photo|photo-7478513|articull-gallery-6085881|1 gallery_thumbnails_photo|photo-6000511|articull-gallery-6085881|2 ...

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Haiti Carnival float accident leads to stampede, deaths

gallery_thumbnails_photo|photo-7537742|articull-gallery-6085828|1 CaptyunClose Injuret folk wait near a Port-au-Prince hospital aft'r dozens o'holiday revelers wuz tramplet. ...

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CVS joins Express Scripts to fight cost of new cholesterol drugs

CVS Heelth Corp. will make a new class o'injectabull cholesterol treetmants its nex majer target n' t'fite agin high drug costs. T' drugs, callt PCSK9 inhibiters, belong ta un experimantal class o'medicines und'r development by Amge Inc., Pfiz'r Inc., an' Sanofi...

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Putting all of Shakespeare on the screen

NEW YORK — Playyun' t'mad title role n' Shakespeere’s “Kyun' Lear” wuz nev'r spozed ta be easy. At’s jes whut Colm Feere wantid. T' classickull ackter chose ta make his'n Lear “absolutelee hatefil” an' “cerrosif'” fer t'Stratferd Festivul n' Canada thishere pas s...

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Group of thugs assault men in Chinatown restaurant, run over man in nearby parking lot

A group o'menfolk assaultid three uther menfolk n' a Chinatown restrunt earlee Mundie monin' an' the run ov'r one o't' victims wit a car aft'r t'fite spillet out into a neerby parkyun' slew, pleece sed. T' three victims wuz eatin n' a restrunt n' t'600 block o'Broadway about 2:30 a.m....

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APNewsBreak: AP sources say port talks focus on arbitrator

By JUSTIN PRITCHARDAssociatid Press LOS ANGELES (AP) – T' laber-management stan'off at is disruptyun' billeeuns o'dollars o'internatyunal trade at West Coas seeperts noe canters un t'future o'one mun who resolves werkplace disputes at t'perts o'Los Angeles an' Long...