under the sun

[silhouettesx]

"maybe not. guess we gotta find out what we have in common. it's not that big of a deal. just helps me focus when i'm doing chores or cooking." hearing sammy's giggle reminded him of just how much he missed hearing it. "you better not tell anyone, i'm trusting you." he smiles softly, feeling the other male's gaze on him. "and noah is who again? because he's clearly not the ex-boyfriend, right?" connie's trying not to be obvious. all he ever had of samuel were memories. ones he tried so hard to bury but clearly it didn't work. "think it's a pretty good quality of yours. oh? you were gonna confess your love to someone back then? why wouldn't you have given it to him? maybe he would've felt the same?"

[sangrehearts]

"no no of course it's not a big deal, still think it's nice. also wouldn't have expected you to say that. sometimes i play my piano music to go to sleep, it works better than white noise." he feels like he's been thrown back in time, spending time just talking with connie. sure they kissed a lot but they also got to know each other in a way that has never happened with anyone else for samuel. "noah is my best friend i guess you could say, if he needs a title. was my counselor back at the camp, helped me a lot but also left a little after i did. then there's eden but she likes girls so she's a good friend too." he had managed to create his own family, one that loved and cared for him in ways his family never could. "love? no no, i didn't have the balls for that. would you have felt the same connie? don't answer that, it was stupid to ask."

[silhouettesx]

"now why would you tell him that? we both know hearing shit like that makes his heart ache. he gets so jealous and possessive when it comes to you, caleb. hope you know tmi means tell me immediately to me! uh oh, how'd that go?"

[sangrehearts]

"listen in my defense i wasn't going to, told him those girls didn't matter anymore. and he kept pushing it so i did what i had to do, and hopefully now he realizes he's the only one i want. no it doesn't! does it? we're working on it but he's the one who wanted to go to this counseling stuff, now it's backfiring because he has to face his own feelings about our past."

[silhouettesx]

"our tastes have always been so different. well if it helps you feel better, sometimes i'll play some classical music to help me focus too. don't think i ever admitted that to anyone." not even dakota knows that about him. "you do that often? keep things of boys you messed with to remember them by?" connie's trying his hardest to not let his jealousy shine through. last thing he needs is for sammy to find out he gets jealous hearing about him with other guys. which is ridiculous because they were never a thing and constantine was straight. "your soft heart, huh? think that's something i admire about you. the note? what note are you talking about?" connie never actually knew how sam got caught liking other boys. sure there were rumors but he wanted to know the truth."

[sangrehearts]

"our tastes can't be that different now that we're older. what say it isn't so, connie listens to classical? that warms my heart." he giggles, the edible already affecting him. "don't worry your secret is safe with me, cross my heart." sammy releases a sigh he was holding in, gaze drifting to connie. "uhm nope i don't think so, i mean depends on what you think messing with means. i have a hoodie from noah, but we've never messed around. the ex-boyfriend never left anything here, if he did i would have given it back." he doesn't admit to having an old photo of connie, stuck in some random book so he wouldn't constantly look at it. "oh yeah? always thought it was my worst quality. it was a half written confession, left it in my backpack. never got to give it to the boy in question either, not that i would have done it. but it was nice to think about back then, being honest with myself."

[silhouettesx]

"bet you would've gotten him pregnant by now if it were possible. did you see that thread asking if you still kissed girls? bet that shit sent franco into full psychosis."

[sangrehearts]

"full psychosis is one way to put it, little sister. he got so worked up about it, i fucked him while telling him of all the ways i used to fuck women. that might be a tad bit tmi. but then i brought it up in marriage counseling, which he didn't like."

[silhouettesx]

"oh no, what happened? they're jerks over on twitter!"

[sangrehearts]

"they're all fawning over my husband, like yes i know he's sexy. you don't need to make posts about how he needs to have babies and get pregnant."

[silhouettesx]

"believe it or not i'm not much of a fan of either of them. i have nothing against them but their music just isn't for me. do you find it helps you focus more when you're drawing?" he quirks his brow a bit at sammy taking another bite out of the edible. connie doesn't know his tolerance so he doesn't comment on it. "why'd you keep them?" he's not sure he actually wants to know the answer. "yeah, totally not like that anymore." constantine keeps on lying to himself because the way he feels for samuel is wrong. his parents made sure to engrain that into him. being with another guy was wrong. connie's supposed to end up with a girl and start a family with her. "well nice to know that that little gesture meant that much to you. probably for the best that they thought that, right?"

[sangrehearts]

"no i mean that's okay, you like what you like. oddly enough yeah, it's like everything else fades away and i'm able to draw whatever is on my mind." sammy thinks about the question, not too sure if he should answer honestly. "cause i think i always knew...that whatever we had was fleeting. wanted something to remember it by." it was like something loosened in sammy when he was with connie, even back then. "wasn't a little gesture, at least not in my eyes. but then again my soft heart makes everything seem bigger than it is. hmm i suppose, they were too busy thinking i'd go to hell to worry about most of the shit in my room. after they found the note...all that mattered was fixing me."

[silhouettesx]

"pink + white is a good one. nights is pretty good too. can't believe you're not a big frank listener though." connie seriously never expected that sam would keep his rings. if the roles were reversed he's not sure he'd keep them. part of him thinks he would though. "constantine is definitely a mouthful. connie does roll off the tongue a bit nicer." he smiles slightly at sam's words. "couldn't get rid of them if you tried, huh? of course i remember. the weed hasn't fucked with my brain that much."

[sangrehearts]

"been listening to a lot of sam smith and giveon. but sometimes i also listen to piano music, but that's usually when i'm drawing." he eats a bit more of the edible out of nervousness. "nope." he says with conviction. "i know you're not like that anymore, and have kota. but the connie i knew back then...getting those meant a lot. was one of the last times we saw each other before everything happened. bet my parents thought they were mine."

[sangrehearts]

"i hate twitter, i hope it burns."

[silhouettesx]

connie tries not to make a big deal out of the little distance between them. he might not be able to keep his hands to himself once the high hits him. "think my favorite song might be godspeed. what about you?" might be because it reminds him a bit of the male in front of him although he'd never admit that. connie's a different guy now. he can't let himself fall into temptation. "could never picture you calling me constantine. which is why i never had a problem with you calling me connie. wait, you kept those?" constantine can't believe it. in a way it warms his heart that sammy has kept those rings after all this time. "thought you would've gotten rid of them."

[sangrehearts]

"might sound a bit cliche but pink + white, always liked the sound of it. i admit though i'm not a big frank ocean listener." his eyes are trained onto the necklace, the rings more specifically. plenty of his friends have asked him about the rings, sammy too closed off to ever tell them. but noah knows, of course he does. "constantine is too much for the mouth, connie sounds better." he goes quiet for a moment. "of course i did, don't think i could get rid of them if i tried. remember when you gave them to me?" sammy does, often replaying that night.

[jaime-lannisters]

Harry Collett as Jacaerys Velaryon

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON Season 2 Episode 6 - Smallfolk

[silhouettesx]

without much thought connie makes his way over to the spot next to samuel, popping two edibles in his mouth. "well what connie do you remember? you cool with some frank ocean? been listening to him a lot lately. i thought you had left for good, never to return again."

[sangrehearts]

it's not lost on samuel that the last time they were this close, it was in an empty closest in the back of the church. "yeah frank ocean is fine, you have a favorite song?" he contemplates the question for a brief moment. "think the best connie i remember is the guy who told everyone in group to call him constantine, but never said anything when i called him connie. same guy who gave me those." he points towards his wall, the rings hanging on a single chain.

[silhouettesx]

"don't worry i'd never do that. 'm not that much of a dick. nah, not silly. kinda can't believe i'm here either. didn't think i'd ever see you again if i'm being honest."

[sangrehearts]

samuel taps the space next to him, edible already eaten. "not that much of a dick? oh i think the connie i remember is a different connie. you can play music, i don't care what artist. yeah, i know i kind of vanished on everyone. tried not to think about it, ya know. the people i wouldn't see again."

[silhouettesx]

"oh shit dude, my bad. you got sent to conversion camp?"

[sangrehearts]

"yeah but it's old news. you go to therapy? or you one of those who don't believe in it?"

[silhouettesx]

"i can't make any promises, sam. they might have you a little paranoid."

[sangrehearts]

"well don't take any videos as evidence then. can't really believe you're here, is that silly?"

[silhouettesx]

"that's true. therapy is very expensive, especially if you have no insurance."

[sangrehearts]

"yeah and if you were sent to a conversion camp so you need extra intensive therapy."

[sangrehearts]

"you pinky swear these edibles won't have me thinking i have three heads?"

[silhouettesx]

"honestly? yeah probably. but i mean you're allowed to skip every now and then as long as you don't make it a habit."

[sangrehearts]

"i pay him too much money to make it a habit."