webs

[sapplings]

Melting into another person so I don't need to find the parts of myself that I have lost

[sapplings]

:) I should "trust" that they are in my "back corner" but not when anything actually happens and oh yeah btw these huge things should be done in the next month also!!

[sapplings]

so full of rage!!!!! i am ready to tear this program apart, idc

[sapplings]

Something about me creates pressure for people, makes them go against their wishes or feel like they have to meet all my needs and desires and I don't know how to stop it, I don't know what to do. I think back to these interactions, and I can't figure it out, I can't

[sapplings]

I didn't get my funding, and my mom just says "oh no, what now." My supervisor says she hopes I'm not "too disappointed." Being left alone to fend for myself. Me and all my colleagues being overworked and unpaid all the time and no one cares, no one notices except us

[sapplings]

Dream where all the people I have ever loved are together and I'm still drawn to you, always drawn to you. I tell you how much I miss you and hug you and it feels so right. You're the life of the party, you don't really want me dragging you down

[sapplings]

Baffling how people just can continue to misunderstand you despite trying so hard to be understood :(

[sapplings]

somehow it's all related to my fixations and my inability to move on and my clinging to the past, clinging so tightly while everyone around me continues and I'm still here. will you want to talk to me still? if we do talk, will we feel any reflection in each other still? Or even worse, will we feel an emptiness where there once was a reflection?

[sapplings]

Everyone writing like they've never had a coherent thought in their life, like they're trying to impress their impossible to please father who is a philosopher who doesn't know how to construct a sentence or a thought in normal language. I'm going to scream.

[sapplings]

literally don't remember writing this or what this is about... i guess this is just the daily life of a grad student though :(

[sapplings]

Everyone writing like they've never had a coherent thought in their life, like they're trying to impress their impossible to please father who is a philosopher who doesn't know how to construct a sentence or a thought in normal language. I'm going to scream.

[sapplings]

You really don't appreciate... You went out of your way... I couldn't manage to even be... I know you don't like.. What I did... If I want.... you put thought into how to be as harsh as possible, how to tell me how inconsiderate i've been without considering me at all

[sapplings]

Starting school again tomorrow. Last time I started school, Hayden died. Who will die this time? The old version of me? The grief and trauma never ends, but I continue to move through it, continue, continue. The pit in my stomach that never leaves. I force myself to eat and lay down all day and think about all the times my dad told me I'm not loveable and love myself to spite him.

[sapplings]

hearbreak and not even in love, oh when does it end

[somediyprojects]

Colours of Winter stitched by Vicky. Pattern designed by Emma Congdon, featured in issue #366/February 2021 of CrossStitcher magazine.

[redlipstickresurrected]

Mariya Novakova aka Mia Novakova aka Coughh Syrup (Bulgarian, b. Plovdiv, Bulgaria) - Porch Collapse 1-4, 2021, Photography

[llleighsmith]

hm living w mental illness really is just like well i feel insane!! just gonna keep going about my day tho

[catgirlcadaver-deactivated20241]

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

[theofficialjonbeers]

Me without my glasses