Let's talk about phone anxiety
For the new year I'm going to drop some Old Nerd wisdom on some of you, particularly those of you who struggle with making professional calls; to your bank or your ISP or the utility company. Things you can't handle in an email (or things that should be an email but aren't) Or worst of all, things that are going to result in someone trying to upsell you. I have a fool proof way to deal:
A lot of phone anxiety, or being talked into things you don't want, is not knowing what you're going to say. I'd like to note that in most cases the person you are talking to on the other end of the phone has a scrip they are following, which is why it always seems like they are one step ahead of you. Fight Fire With Fire I say. Here's how it works:
Before you make the call:
Get out a sheet of old fashioned paper or open a new blank document in your word processor. (that second one can be nice because you can save it and reuse it)
At the top write the company you're calling and the number. Leave a space, you'll need it later. Write down your account number, your pin, and any other pertinent account information.
Now we make a decision about money. Will we need to spend money to fix this issue? If they answer is yes, go get the card you intend to use and write that under the account info. (Visa Card, Check Card [Bank]) Not the actual card info. If you shouldn't need to pay to fix the issue, leave your card in your wallet and on this line write in big letters: I Do Not Have My Card With Me Right Now.
Now we write the script:
Hello My Name is: [Full Name on the account]
I'm calling about: [short explanation]
The issue I'm having is: list all the details you can think of. Write down if this is a billing issue, a technical issue, a service issue. Any relevant dates, specifics about the issue, what you might have been told on previous calls by other employees and who they were if you remember. if you save this in a document every time you make a call you have a lot of fun data to put in here.
It would be great if: explain how you'd like to have this resolved if you have some idea. Otherwise ask what your options are.
Get your card and your reading glasses if you need those because;
Now we make the call:
When someone answers, they should give a name. Write that down in the space at the top. Read the First two lines of the script. Be prepared to be transferred. If you're calling a switchboard the best this person can do is shove you toward the right department. Eventually someone will respond by asking for your account info. that's at the top, read it out when prompted. Once they have that info, read out 'The Issue I'm Having'.
They may ask more questions, but usually if you've written your script well they'll pause because you have just used up all the rubbish questions they use as a stall tactic. Congrats, you have just carved a 15 minute call down to 5. You might be asked to repeat things you've already said, just read them back off your script. I put my script in bullet points so it's easier to scan but if that just distracts you, you don't have to do that.
This is generally the point in the interaction where the enterprising individual looking for a promotion will try to sell you something. Don't make up any stories, just tell them you don't have your card. Repeat it if you have to. Conversely if solving the problem means getting out your card, this is probably going to go a lot faster. At the bottom of your script jot down anything you're told, ask for a time frame if it's something that will need a service call.
When you've got to a semi-successful say thank you, have a nice day and hang up. Don't loiter around for phone surveys. you have a life.
Some acting notes from your director:
It is easier to get people to do what you want if you give them an opportunity to feel good about themselves. I try to never play the sympathy card if I can help it, but what I do is more subtle: "I know this isn't your fault, but I'm really upset about this" "I'm really hoping you can help me because I haven't had any luck so far" "I know this was probably a corporate decision but is there anything at all you can do to resolve this?" No one likes to be blamed, particularly for things they haven't done, so if you give someone who sits in a cubical getting yelled at most of the day a chance to be your hero they will, statistically speaking, usually take it. Even if it's something easy to fix you'll still get a better response if you approach the request as if you're asking for a favor rather than demanding the service you're quite literally entitled to. What can I tell you? Humans are weird.
That's all, that's the grift. Good luck out there, guys, making the phone calls that no one wants to deal with.
theartofmadeline
gummygunk
