Growing to change

I'm Eleanor, a recent graduate of Cambridge University currently attempting to balance work, life and fitness in a vaguely adult manner. In 2014 I underwent ACL reconstruction surgery, but I'm basically back to normal now!

[growingtochange-blog]

Last time I went on a tinder date to an army black tie dinner in Kent with someone I'd never met before. Lol. Luckily it was really good fun, but even if it wasn't, such a good story. On a serious note, I'm not usually a very spontaneous person, and I used to be so shy about meeting new people, so I'm actually quite proud of myself for saying yes to unusual opportunities and being unafraid to put myself in a situation where I don't know anyone. I don't think I would have done this a year ago, and it's cool to see myself making progress on character qualities I always thought would be set in stone.

[growingtochange-blog]

Trustworthy first date outfit 👌 I ate a salmon sandwich and a whole bag of cheese and onion kettle chips half an hour ago lolllll

[typicalfeministkilljoy]

do girls really mature faster? or do we just excuse boys’ immaturity longer?

[pedophile-killer]

Or people want girls to be “grown up” faster so they can sexualise them sooner

[growingtochange-blog]

*6am, opens eyes*

me: I can't wait to go to bed tonight.

[growingtochange-blog]

Ok so I just started watching The Girlfriend Experience which is this random Starz show about a law school student who becomes an escort on the side to fund her studies – sounds like such a soft-porn cliche but it is actually a really great show. Bechdel test instant pass, all the sex scenes are entirely non-gratuitous and v v focused on the female perspective/pov. Also super non-judgemental about sex work (so far) which is so refreshing for mainstream media. 10/10 would recommend.

[motivationsforlife]

[growingtochange-blog]

Wish I was back here right now. Seems so surreal that I got to experience this place in person!

[growingtochange-blog]

Someone on Bumble just told me I seemed ‘positive and friendly’ and I literally laughed out loud for about 30 seconds.

[growingtochange-blog]

You know how some songs remind you really strongly of a certain time and place? I just put on Tove Lo's "Habits" remix and it took me back *so* strongly to being a student in Cambridge - listening to it in the gym/while running, and just playing it while walking around the city (I overplayed it massively when I first discovered it). Like, memories not just of the circumstances but the actual feeling of listening to it as I was then. Like temporarily reinhabiting a version of myself that has since grown and changed. Music is weird man.

[bela40]

my attention span is so bad i cant watch something without being on my phone at the same time i always have to have 2 layers of activity when did this happen why is capitalism stealing my soul away the spectacle has me firmly in its grip

[growingtochange-blog]

Improvements in my morning run route over the last month or so. Pretty good I’d say! 🏃(it's a 7k route so not the fastest ever I'm aware, but still it's good for me!)

[growingtochange-blog]

Ok so not a joke I am still sore from the weights I did last Saturday. It is now Wednesday evening. This is what happens when you neglect lifting heavy for too long 😣

[w0rldweaver]

tbh im not interested in making feminism more comfortable for men. im not gonna sit there and coddle men thru a situation and reassure them that i don’t really hate them individually or otherwise. and im also not going to be like “but feminism benefits men!!” to make feminism seem more appealing to some man. if rampant misogyny and oppression of women isn’t enough for you then i don’t really think you should be involved in feminism anyway

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

[growingtochange-blog]

Omg

[growingtochange-blog]

I am DEAD. After my run (which fucked my legs up as I did weights yesterday for the first time in a while, and semi fast run + doms is not a good combo) I went and met some friends for a long lunch which was lovely, then came home and had like a 5 minute turnaround before going out again to meet up with this guy I've been seeing. We just wandered round Hyde Park and chatted, was really nice. But as an upshot of all this activity, today including my run I have done almost 28,000 steps!!! I only activated the Samsung step tracker this weekend out of interest and could not believe how far I went today. Although to be fair I have had a more active weekend than normal - I tend to just lie around all day on most weekends...No wonder I feel absolutely wiped this evening. I like to start my week with a training session normally, but my body is so broken I think I'm just going to wake up tomorrow morning and do some stretching/rolling before work. Much needed recovery!

[growingtochange-blog]

I am 75% sure I want to cut my hair short but then sometimes it looks like this and I’m like 👱👱👱 mermaid hair 4eva!!!

Tough decisions eh.

[growingtochange-blog]

I can't believe how long my hair was before I got it all chopped off!!

[growingtochange-blog]

And I now have visible burn lines from my shorts and socks. HOW?! I am ridiculous.

[growingtochange-blog]

Today was such a gorgeous day that I cycled to Richmond Park and just walked around by myself for an hour and a half enjoying the sun. I love walking with some music on and just daydreaming/letting my thoughts wander. After the breakup walking anywhere for any length of time was torture because without any immediate task to keep me occupied my thoughts would immediately spiral into a negative space. A really clear sign of improvement was when I could take pleasure in the walk to the tube again each morning, rather than dreading it as a period of time to desperately fight off tears and try to keep myself distracted with podcasts (shoutout to Serial for getting me through those first shitty weeks). The fact that today I actively chose to wander around aimlessly by myself with nothing but my thoughts to occupy me was a really positive sign of how far I've come in the last 7 weeks.