spent gladiator

Sarah/26/Texas  |  recovering from anorexia since Aug 1 2017, after 10 years of The Bullshit™ | INFJ | aro/ace♠️ | she/her

[approvers]

[hope4gem]

Take it from someone who's been there and done that. You will survive this too.

[43453424534-deactivated20190914]

[jedlknight]

“next year’s 2020″ : not terrible

“this decade ends in 2 months” : bad

“1980 was nearly 40 years ago” : somehow the worst thing i’ve ever read

[sarahinrecovery]

if you’re one of those people who says they support recovery or “aren’t pro anything” but still puts their hw, cw, “ugw” in their blog description, i got news for you. you are a fucking Clown. just an absolute boneheaded buffoon. a dimwitted nincompoop, if you will

[valtsv]

me trying not to make impulse purchases when i'm sad

[valtsv]

[catchymemes]

[hippyelfchick]

me: might go run an errand tomorrow afternoon

me: better start doing extra-nothing now to make sure I’m up for it

[opheliabpd]

If you’re mentally ill and exploring online mental health communities, please be careful. They can turn into incredibly toxic environments where all your sadness feeds of one another and can create distorted worldviews. It is very easy for someone to accidentally encourage you to self harm. Make sure you’re following positive people and those in recovery. 

The occasional negative post and venting is okay, but those blogs and accounts dedicated to just being depressed and unhealthy will hurt you a lot in the long run.

[u-r--lovely]

I think the reality of recovery is that it’s fucking uncomfortable. After years of sickness and being inside the safety of treatment center after treatment center and ER’s and doctors–it’s confusing as hell. It’s confusing because we’re used to using the eating disorder to be taken care of…and now we have to do that for ourselves. I’m a grown ass adult and I really am out here learning how to be responsible, figuring out how to get a job, be in a relationship, pay rent. Eating disorder’s keep us from growing up and I don’t know about you..but it’s the most beautiful thing and most terrifying thing to realize you’ve got your whole life ahead of you and finally after years and years–you can actually live.

-Gracie Mandel (Excerpt from my future memoir)

[theenergyinlife-deactivated2019]

You have to choose recovery every. single. day. You have to wake up and decide that you want to recover more than anything else, more than the temporary comfort, more than the ‘high’. You have keep telling that voice in your head that you deserve love and that you deserve to recover. 

[moss-wizard]

What a year this week has been.

[anxietyproblem]

[dudepositivity]

get better for yourself. not for a man, not for love, not for you to feel like you’ll finally be “easy” to be around. Get better for the sake of your happiness. not for a “nicer” body, not because you think it will make you more palatable to strangers. get better because you want to feel better. get better because you want to be able to breathe easier. get better because you want to be able to go to a store and not have a panic attack over food or conversation. get better because you deserve to give the gift of healing to yourself. 

[sarahinrecovery]

Hi. Relatively recent follower here. Just wondering how you're going with recovery stuff? Are you weight restored? Do you see a therapist or someone similar? x

yeah i’ve been doing ok!! i guess i’m almost weight restored (bmi-wise), and i’m still seeing my outpatient therapist once a week to help keep me on track! I also go to an outpatient psych clinic every 3 months or so for medication management (i take meds for depression and anxiety), although i had to miss my last appointment because we couldn’t afford it (i recently got kicked off my health insurance). so i couldn’t get my refills, and for now i’m off all my meds, which sucks ass. but what can ya do, y’know? i’m just kinda taking it day by day right now

[newtkins]

i literally never force myself to do anything thats probably my biggest problem abjzsdgdhdj

[newtkins]

me: ugh i dont want to do that

brain: dont do it then

me: can’t argue with that

[mysharona1987]