Meet Rose. 33 years old. Living in Los Angeles. Still Ill, but coping quite beautifully with her Morrissey addiction.
Last month, I sat down with Rose Ghavami to (lovingly) discuss her insatiable Morrissey obsession.
Where do you live? Los Angeles, CA
When was your introduction to Morrissey? What is your first Morrissey/ Smiths memory?
R: I had heard How Soon Is Now at a very young age (early junior high), and the song had kind of stuck with me, because the song was very distinct and very different to what I was listening to at the time… It wasn’t until a little later in high school when I put two and two together, “Oh, that song from your junior high years is actually from this band” and then at that point I was listening to a lot of different… stuff and it just really fit with my mood, and kind of cradled my teen experience. [It] also, helped me find like-minded people… After high school I became OBSESSED [and] it just got progressively worse and worse.
First song you fell in love with?
R: I think it was Everyday Is Like Sunday… I really listened to the lyrics and the mood and the music… I remember it being kind of a dark time in my life: I was a freshman in college, feeling a little lost, and [thought] “Wow, there’s so much more to this band, to this musician than I ever could have possibly imagined.” From that point onward, it [became a], full blown obsession… “I need to know everything about this band and this person called Steven Patrick Morrissey.”
C: My friend October- she’s not the one that introduced me- but her and I got really into it. [And] there was this VHS she had of this of Smiths music videos…
R: Yes, [The Smiths:] The Complete Picture.
C: OH MY GOD (singing). And that’s when it hit me. We used to dance around in her house [and sing along to the videos].
R: (laughs) Yeah. I think that’s actually a good point you bring up, because during that same time I was watching their videos and aesthetically, Morrissey (I’m sure) had a huge part in the type of imagery that they would use, [and] it was beautiful… The clips from old British films, TV shows or whatever the case is. That in itself, was also visually grabbing and sensual on a certain level. It also kind of felt like it was your “secret.”
R: It almost [felt like] this dirty, bad secret that you had that you were just secretly super proud of but wouldn’t tell too many people, because everyone else was kind of like, WHY?
C: Or they didn’t even know.
R: I used to always say… “Morrissey is an acquired taste.” The older you get, you start to develop a taste for wine and certain alcohols. I feel like Morrissey’s kind of like that.
C: Totally. And some of the music videos that they had on that VHS, some of them were live performances. What was it called?
C: Yeah, maybe? I don’t know [what it was called] but they played and he had that quality… with the dead roses, swinging. So romantic.
Do you have a favorite lyric or quote?
My love is as sharp as a needle in your eye
- Seasick, Yet Still Docked
C: In his autobiography he says “Where, I wonder, can such stylishly fitted jeans be found?” And it makes me laugh every time.
R: He is very particular about his own style [and] his bandmates style. He definitely has an aesthetic that he’s going for, and it’s [always] evolving but… very Americana. Which [is something I] also love because I’m a very nostalgic person. I love the aesthetic of the 40s and 50s [and] to a certain extent the 60s. Everything else, not so much.
What is it you like about him and his music? Why?
R: When I first became a fan it was really more about the music. I didn’t know anything about Morrissey. I didn’t know about the Morrissey/ Marr controversy. It was almost innocent, in a way. I was able to really just enjoy the music, enjoy the lyrics and take [it] for what it [was]. Once I got to know more about who he was, then I started to [think], “Wow, this is a really interesting, intelligent, funny person.” I related to him on a certain level. I always felt different growing up and the circumstances that I came from. It was very different: working class. So, I felt like on a certain level I understood him even though I grew up in the Valley [and] he grew up in Manchester. It’s a different thing, but there was a certain struggle that I experienced in my childhood that seemed to related to his. And I think that’s why I always really loved him. He always championed the underdog. And I’m like, “This is someone I would want to be friends with,” and he would probably fight with me if someone said something wrong to me. But the more I got to know about him, I don’t know if he would actually engage in a fight (laughs). Maybe a verbal assault, because he’d be brilliant at that, but not actual violence (laughs). Unless, I was eating a steak in front of him, then he might engage. (laughs)
Is there one piece of your collection that is your most coveted?
R: My first ever shirt which (I regret) I totally cut… up and made it look cute… I think that piece in particular, really, any time I see it, it puts a smile on my face… It takes me back to that time of being really young and innocent, discovering something new for the first time, and wearing [it] like a badge of honor… And I also have a book which may be a reissue (I’m not sure, I haven’t done the research) but Morrissey did a James Dean… photo zine [sort] of thing and I have a copy of it. It’s really cool. it’s one of the more unique pieces I have.
C: So it’s a picture book?
R: Yeah, I’ll show you. There’s some stuff he’s written in there as well but there’s some beautiful photographs.
Have you ever met him? I feel like everyone [has one of these stories] (laughs)
R: Well, here’s the deal: My ex was good friends with his current guitarist, Jesse, so I became friends with Jesse as well. There was a point where we were hanging out a lot and I [thought] “… It’s gonna happen any day now, I just feel it! Jesse knows how much of a fan I am and he’s just gonna [ask me]: ‘Rose, why don’t you just come out and we’ll hang out?’” and I’ll be dressed to the nine’s… I’m still friends with Jesse but it never worked out that way.
I did have a close brush [though]… Here’s the story:
Interestingly enough, I was having a vegan dinner with two of my girlfriends, one of them whom I haven’t seen in a long time so we were deep in conversation. I kept getting texts and I kept ignoring my phone because I didn’t want to be rude, and [when I] finally… glanced over, the text… said “MORRISSEY IS AT THE BAR!”… I thought it was a joke because everybody knows how big of a fan I am, but it was [from] my friend who owns the bar so maybe she’s not fucking around. This is the same bar my [DJ] night is at. So, I wrote back… and she [says] “… He’s been here for a half an hour. You need to come, NOW!” I literally drop everything and am like “WE’RE GOING TO FOOTSIE’S, RIGHT NOW!”
R: He was at Footsies! Jesse lives in Highland Park so it’s not totally unusual that him and Jesse would be hanging out there. Footsies is not… your typical bar where you might see a lot of people, but it was a New York Dolls night. and so I’m [thinking], “Ok… that makes sense why Morrissey would be there,” but, also “Wow, you’re asking for it!” [Because] Anyone who’s a fan would probably know [who he was].
So… my cousin Sadaf is driving like a mad-woman from Silver Lake to Highland park to get there. And then this realization dawns upon me that not only am I wearing a leather jacket, but I’m also wearing a Siouxsie and The Banshees t-shirt. I love Siouxsie to death but her and Morrissey have beef. So, I’m [thinking], “Ok, I can take the leather jacket off, but I can’t [remove my] Siouxsie shirt… unless I want to walk around without anything, basically.”
R: Which, I would go topless if that was required of me in order to meet Morrissey, but [I figured] I’ll just do] something with my arms so the shirt’s not as apparent.
So, we drive up to Footsies. As soon as we get there I see Jessie, Moz and his bodyguard walking out.
“Shit, they’re leaving!” My cousin parks the car, “No they’ll see us,” [I say] “I have to prepare myself.”
She drives away and parks a little further down the street so I could be walking towards them, towards the bar. So, I rip off my jacket, get myself together and then I walk out [of the car] and see Jesse, Moz, and his body guard. And… I completely shut down: I walk right in between Jesse and Morrissey and I [seize up]. I couldn’t do it. And Jesse even turned around because he saw it was me. At this point I knew him [better], and I could tell he [recognized me, but]… I really couldn’t do it.
I ran into Footsies, almost started crying because I was so sad and frustrated that I just… dropped the ball. Later, Jesse was like “Yeah, I totally saw Rose. Why didn’t she say hi?” And at that point, I [thought] “You know what, it’s ok. I don’t want to be the fan that stalks [Morrissey] on the sidewalk and tries to get a photo with [him].” I’d rather it be more intimate. Like, Jesse calls me up “Hey Rose, we’re gonna go have a drink would you like to join us?’ and… that would be perfect because then I’ll make sure i’m not wearing anything that has leather on it and I’ll be prepared.
C: You said you walked right in between them. Were you able to touch him at all?
R: I think we brushed fabrics, but I really wanted to be respectful. I was so nervous that I was keeping my whole energy and everything really contained. But, yes, I straight up walked right in between them.
C: I don’t know what I would do. I feel like I would just completely shut down…
R: That’s actually something I think about often: “What would I actually say to this person who’s had such a profound impact on my life?” [And] I don’t know. Sometimes he’ll pass around the mic to the front row at his concerts and and people can say something or express something and it’s usually… “You’ve changed my life. I love you!” I would love to say those things as well, but I’d want it to be super sharp and witty so I can make an impression on him… I know… I’m Unloveable, but I don’t want to be forgettable. In a way, I’d want it to be thoughtful but also, somehow, spontaneous.
C: Even in an intimate setting, I don’t know what I would do. Because [I place him] on such a pedestal… so, how do I communicate with this person?
R: One of my good girlfriends, she’s a fan. Not a mega fan, but she’s a fan. She was telling me she was driving in West Hollywood: windows down, perfect, sunny California day. Glasses on, and smoking a cigarette.
She’s like, “I’m just gonna pop in this smiths album I haven’t heard it in forever.”
So, she’s listening to it and she’s at a red light. All of the sudden she looks over sees a blue convertible and Morrissey totally hears her listening to the Smiths, gives her a nod, and then makes his left turn.
That kind of possibility exists living in L.A.. I don’t know if he lives here full time anymore but he’s here so often. I hear all of the time: “He’s at amoeba, come now!” “He’s at Cat and Fiddle, come now!” I have… these people all over L.A. that are always giving me the scoop and [unfortunately] I can never leave work!
What sort of significance does he and his music have for you?
R: Other than the fact that it’s pleasurable to hear, there’s an intelligence behind the lyrics. So, there’s a respect there as well. And I also like that the Morrissey and Smiths fans are part of a community. Even though it’s way more acceptable now to be a fan of his work, we’re still part of a niche. So, for me, that’s kind of cool being part of that community. And whenever I go to any events, like the Smiths convention that happens here annually, or various Smiths/Morrissey nights, like Morrissey-oke, it’s just awesome to experience that. Everybody who’s there is there for the same reason and it’s always super positive, good vibes. Everyone is supportive of each other because we all get it, you know? I think that that [has] brought a lot of happiness and joy into my life… When I have my [DJ] nights it’s my way of giving back and paying it forward. and hopefully [I’m] turning… some new people onto the music. Occasionally, I’ll get that person [that says], “Wow, I’ve never really listened to them. Hearing it now makes me feel like… I should get into it.” So, that’s really positive and wonderful.
Is there anything else you’d like to share?
R: Other than that, one of the reasons I really, really love Morrissey is that he’s somewhat of an enigma. And that kind of celebrity doesn’t exist as much now in the age of social media. I think celebrities are almost too accessible now. Tabloids have always been around but now, way more than before, we have an intimate view into their world through their Instagram and their Twitter [accounts]. They’re the ones that are actually [taking] the photos and putting stuff out there.
So, in a way, I like that Morrissey has always kept his distance from the general public. He is very intimate and giving to his fans and the audience when he performs [and] in interviews he’s pretty candid, but he always keeps a little bit of himself away from everybody. I kind of like that because it… allows him to stay, in my mind, on that pedestal. He’s still untouchable. It almost feels like a true celebrity in a way… Even before the internet era, there was the era of the ‘super models’. Those were [the people] that were untouchable: musicians, actors and actresses. We’ve lost a little bit of that [quality] and there’s something sacred and beautiful about it. There’s a quality of respect where you’ve earned it to be where you are. I appreciate and admire that.
Thank you for inviting me into your home, Rose!
Follow Rose on her Moz and other DJ adventures:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/djrosiebojangles
Instagram: @rosiebojangles
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