Naruto took a deep breath before following Sasuke into the tent; his stomach had dropped as Sasukeâs shoulder brushed his. He stood, bent over from the limited height of the tent, and observed as Sasuke lay down and offered him the sleeping bag. âI donât need it,â Naruto replied with a monotone sincerity. âYou take it. Iâm not tired.â He kicked the corner onto Sasukeâs foot, and then reached over for the otherâs bag. He hesitated, and then he left the tent without another word.
The waterâs edge brushed by his toes as he sat, staring at the skyâs reflection. Protein bar in hand, Narutoâs blue eyes gazed lifelessly as he ignored the world around him. He hated this. Why did it end up this way? How did it end up this way? He and Sasuke and been through so much together, they had worked through their problems, and they had promised to work harder in the future. And even though Sasuke was with him every morning when he woke up and every night when he went to bed, he felt like he hadnât really retrieved Sasuke. Sasuke was there with him, but that⌠the bond Naruto had longed for was still missing. Their interactions were empty, even though they used to fuel the otherâs very being. So what was missing? Why wasnât Sasuke enough? Why did he still feel lonely and angry?
Naruto rotated on his butt to face the sloppy, green fixture behind him. Everything he wanted was right there, inside that tent. All he had to do was burst in and yell and cry. But he wasnât going to. As much as his head hurt from thinking about it, he was just going to sit outside and wait for a different catalyst.
He rubbed his eye tiredly. âOhâŚâ he looked at his arm, remembering his injury. The pain had died down without him realizing. Free from Sasukeâs prying eyes, he unzipped his jacket and removed it, holding up his arm to examine it. There was a large purple bruise on the inside of his upper arm. He poked it and winced. However, it no longer hurt when he held it still, which meant it was probably healingâŚ
Sasuke sighed and placed a hand on his stomach as Naruto exited the tent, not bothering to move a muscle or say a word in protest. What was the point? He'd been dealing with Naruto's ridiculous mood swings for what seemed like weeks now and every time he tried to help things between them only got worse.Â
It had all started when they had gotten into that fight while they were out shopping. Over Sasuke calling him names, the same names he had always called Naruto. The ill intent behind them had fallen off a long time before, and he thought Naruto had known that, but he stopped using them when he realized that his assumption had been wrong. Naruto's attitude had been different ever since then, though. He started closing himself off, putting a wall between them - Sasuke could tell when the other man was being distant, when his happiness was only for show. But he had no idea why. And the more he tried to reach out to Naruto, in the best way his emotionally-stunted personality would allow him to, the more Naruto pulled away.
Hadn't he been doing everything right? Hadn't he been trying his best to make up for all the things that he had done that had hurt Naruto? To be a person that lived for the sake of living, instead of a person that lived as a tool for some purpose outside himself? He was bending over backwards to be a good roommate, a better friend, a caring...
He sat up and let out a grunt, kicking the piece of sleeping bag that Naruto had placed on his foot to the side. Now really wasn't the time to dwell on what exactly he was trying to be for Naruto or what precisely he wanted to mean to Naruto - he felt shitty enough already.Â
He gazed at the entrance to the tent bleakly, a humorless smile momentarily gracing his face before slipping off. It was almost comical, and if he had much of a sense of humour he would laugh, how hard he had tried since his return to the village to be all the things Naruto believed he could be only to end up failing completely. He had told Naruto that he couldn't do it, and that it was a mistake for him to believe that he could; maybe he had finally realized that, and maybe that's why he was treating Sasuke as if he couldn't stand to be around him.
Without putting anymore thought into it, he scrambled to his feet and marched out of the tent, fixing Naruto, who was sitting at the edge of the lake, with a hardened gaze. His eyes followed Naruto's own, and he took note of the bruising on the other's arm, but disregarded it; he was too fired up to care.
"I told you," he said softly, his voice trembling slightly as everything he felt started to overwhelm him. "I told you this would happen! I told you it was a bad idea to have me as your roommate, a bad idea to believe that I could be any other type of person than the person I've always been! And now you know! But instead of having the balls to just tell me you don't want me around anymore, you've been treating me like I have a fucking disease!"
He paused for a moment to to catch his breath, his hands balled up at his sides. He hadn't even realized he had started yelling. "I've been trying my best to be what you want me to be, to do what you want me to do! I cook for you, I clean for you, I stopped calling you names, I'm even trying to socialize with people.People I couldn't give less than a crap about!" He threw his hands up in the air in resignation. "I live in a place that I hate for you! I don't know what else you want from me, but I obviously can't give it to you, so just tell me that I'm a giant disappointment already so I can fucking move my shit out because I'm tired of dealing with your passive aggressive bullshit!"
