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This year changed me in ways I never imagined.

January was full of hope, plans, and promises. I truly believed this would be the year everything finally fell into place.

February gave me a few moments of genuine happiness but they faded far too quickly.

March became a month of waiting for things that never came, and slowly learning to accept reality.

April took away more than I was prepared to lose my peace, my strength, and my energy.

May was filled with sleeples ights, overthinking, silent battles, and questions that had no answers.

Then came June. It taught me to let go of what was never meant to stay. It reminded me that life doesn't always go as planned, but it also helped me find myself again and gave me the courage to keep moving forward.

Six months. It feels like I've lived six different lives.

I'm not the same person who walked into this year and maybe that's okay.

When people ask me what I've been doing lately, but I don't know how to explain that I'm grieving a life I once imagined, learning how to love myself properly, rediscovering who I'm in this new chapter and somewhere along the way I'm meeting the women I've become. So i simply say "I've been walking a lot".

#@woman

Learning to enjoy your own company is not giving up on connection. It is remembering that you, too, are a wonderful person to come home to.

#solitude

The hypocrisy of being human; the constant tug between solitude and company, the desire to love so desperately and simultaneously be detached from it all, of wanting everything and wanting nothing.

#solitude #desperatelover

I wish someone was afraid to lose me. I'm always scared of losing people that i love but i doubt anyone would fight to keep me in their life.

#tired heart

Suddenly I don't want anyone to know me as deeply anymore, which is strange, because I've always yearned for someone to understand my soul.

#solitude #lonesoul

She wasn't handed a damn thing.

She's been fighting all her life.

Life threw punches. She took them, spit out the blood and kept going.

Broken heart. Shaken soul? Exhausted spirit?

But Badass women don't break, they rise like phoenixes, every fucking damn time.

Void period

It refers to a period of time when the flow of luck is bad.

Growth is choosing not to reopen a door that cost you your peace to close.

#self worth #healing era

Fake it, till you make it?

Ahha naa?

It's Act till you become it.

My actions failed. I didn't fail.

#EM Position HNM

No revenge because we both ruined our relationship.

You couldn't love me the way I needed and I couldn't leave you.

At first, I told myself it was just a rough patch...

That if I stayed a little longer, loved a little harder, explained myself a little better, something would shift.

Because there were moments, weren't there?

Moments where it felt like everything I needed was finally there.

Just enough to make me stay. Never enough to make me truly there.

So I adapted...

I softened my needs.

I lowered my expectations.

I convinced myself this was just what love looked like.

Not because it felt good... but because it felt familiar.

And you...You weren't trying to hurt me. You just didn't know how to love me in the way I needed. But the hardest truth is this, love that doesn't meet you still hurts you.

And me?

I knew something wasn't right.

But leaving felt harder than staying. Because walking away meant facing the emptiness I had been trying to outrun.

So we stayed in something that slowly broke us both.

Not toxic enough to leave.

Not healthy enough to stay.

Just enough to lose ourselves in.

Until one day I realised...

It wasn't about blame. It wasn't about who was right or wrong.

It was about this:

I deserved a love that didn't need to be explained, shrunk for, or survived.

And sometimes healing looks like this...

Not revenge. Not anger. Just finally choosing what you should have chosen all along...

Yourself.

Closure doesn't come from the other person, it comes from inside you.

If forgiveness is needed, start with yourself. Forgive yourself for staying. For leaving. For choosing what you chose with the information you had at the time. Self-forgiveness is often a huge doorway out of the past.

If part of you is still hoping you'll get back together someday, meet that part gently. It's a sign of unprocessed grief.

And it's also something that keeps you from being fully present with your life now.

Acknowledge the sadness underneath it. Let yourself feel the loss that moving forward requires. Let that part of you grieve the future it imagined. Hope dissolves when grief is honored.

Moving on is not something that happens to you. It's something you choose.

If you stay, you'll be stuck in the same loop forever.

If you leave, you lose your last shot at love.

It's a God game, and he seems to be kinda enjoying it.

#right and wrong

Love and lose comes hand in hand.

#wisdom

Reassurance is an open secret key to a good relationship. Which is lying in front of us and we are ignoring it, especially the avoidant ones. The anxious ones already know the importance, avoidant ones think why do I need to express the same thing again and again? But for an anxious one, it's like oxygen. You just need to speak out your heart, don't need to fake it. Let them know what they are to you and immediately you'll see their emotions are calming down.

We all are facing different challenges and for anxious ones it is their emotions, and for them reassurance is really really helpful.

#reassurance #anxious avoidant

You're with somebody that long, you stop being a separate person

You become some kind of four-legged creature. They becomes your other half. You feel like hurting yourself rather than harming them, without knowing if they see you as your other half.

Fucked up, but okay.

#disorientedmind #deconstruction #healing

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