Gender: redacted @savoureachsensation - Tumblr Blog

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

kaity--did

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

kaity--did

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

kaity--did

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

kaity--did

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

airyfrasc

I was recently inspired to draw a little comic based on a magnificent scene from The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon 🍊 I love this book so much!!

(hang in there Ead)

heyimboredtalktome

allthatdivides

went to the thrift store today there were so many textures there (affectionate)(derogatory)

allthatdivides

me, touching a shirt: hee hee hoo hoo texture :D

me, touching a different shirt: OH NO A TEXTURE D:

garbage-empress

time smells bad.

chrome--horse

what Synesthetic bullcrap is this now

garbage-empress

Listen

I accidentally leave the milk out overnight.

Milk smells bad the next day.

Why does milk smell bad?

Time gets in it.

garbage-empress

@ryanthecynic

guerrillatech

hubelupf

this is from @pacingpixie on Instagram. @guerrillatech share with credit.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Pixie (@pacingpixie)

accessibleaesthetics

[Image description: first image is of a cyclical diagram labeled "The Inaccessibility Cycle." It goes from "Inaccessibility" To "Disabled people unable to participate" to "disabled people not visible in public" to "disabled people seen as outlier/rarity " to "'so there's little/no need to consider them'" and then back to "Inaccessibility". The background is light blue and has a pictograph or whatever they're called of a guy in a wheelchair (like the one they use on parking spots). Second image is the same one, but it’s the original version with the “@Pacing Pixie” watermark in the corner. This version also links to the original Instagram version. End image description.]

angelsymbol

reblog for something really lgbt to happen to the person you reblogged it from

mwagneto

fucking losing it at the concept of a reverse Holmes and Watson like there's this genius journalist who goes around solving crimes and writes about how he does it and then there's his useless himbo assistant who does fuck all and just follows him around absolutely out of his mind on cocaine

gir-posting

WOSGHFDHFHDHFHDH

savoureachsensation

No but this is the plot of Without a Clue! Watson (Ben Kingsley) is the genius, and Holmes (Michael Caine) is an actor who Watson hires! It is very funny I highly recommend it

#holmes #sherlock #sherlockholmes #withoutaclue

judgejudyofficial

do advertisers think they're being quirky? cute? breedable even?

cockyhorror

the only thing I love more than skipping ads is skipping ads that told me not to

chrishallbeck

haqqandsuch

White queers are very very capable of being agents of white supremacy

This means white enbys, white trans women, white transmen, white ace and aro people. White whatever the fuck else. All very capable of being agents of white supremacy.

mrspider-deactivated20221213

i love when dogs look down like

like this. what do you see little man

the2headedcalf-moved

being in your early twenties is like [grocery shopping alone] [having instant noodles for dinner] [remembering random details about that one friend you haven't spoken to in five years] [feeling overwhelming guilt for every purchase that isn't strictly "necessary"] [having midday naps] [finding out through facebook that the girl who was mean to you in high school has a husband and a baby] [falling a little in love with every stranger on public transport] [pretending you're not afraid of being alone] [wondering when you'll feel like a fully realized person] [listening to bands you liked in middle school] [blinking and it's suddenly december] [failing to imagine yourself ten years from now] [feeling like you're running out of time]

theweirdpeach

I just want someone who’s excited to make out with me and text me all the time.

exeggcute

one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.

and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

exeggcute

can you imagine.

bisexualshakespeare

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]