What I say & what I MEAN. Things said to roommates @saymeanthings - Tumblr Blog

"God, firetrucks are always cluttering up traffic, and they ALWAYS do it during rush hour!"

And we ALL know that preventing traffic jams > saving lives.

#numba 3 #priorities #bless your black little heart

#1: "Did you know that Will Smith is really from West Philadelphia?"

#3: "Well, DUH, it's in the song!"

[You are aware that Will Smith isn't a fictional character, right?]

#Numba 1 #numba 3 #The Pursuit of Happyness would have been a lot different if that was true

"Isn't it Spring now?"

"It's...January."

"Well, that's what I heard someone say."

[That seems like something that would be easy to dispel by...going outside.]

#just dumb #numba 3 #uncommon sense

"He talks really good English, even though he's from Spain."

[Even better than certain native speakers occupying this very room, I VENTURE TO GUESS.]

#numba 1 #irony

"God, I don't know why teachers get mad when you text or have phone calls in class!"

"Probably because it disrupts it."

"It's none of their business anyway, they should just keep teaching. I mean, it's what they were paid to do."

[So I guess you won't mind if I get employed in the fine profession of throat punching and decide to pick you as my first client.]

#r u d e #numba 3 #throat punching is the most noble occupation #sorry we don't have any automaton professors

"Please, I'm up against all of these...ASIAN kids, they all have 4.0s. What am I supposed to do?"

[This is what you do, go to your interviews, mention that you're well-versed in the art of xenophobia, and put it on all of your internship occupations. I guarantee you will get hired. Or kicked out. One of the two.]

#numba 3 #rat race #bad advice is sometimes the right kind #maybe no one's hiring you because you're a jerk

Hey people! Long time no see!

The semester rocked me like a hurricane (that, and I was practically sleeping in the tech center and I didn't see them too much) so I didn't have time to record anything.

But now that school is in full swing, let's get going!

#i'm a lazy cow

#1 talking about #3: "I think there is something WRONG WITH HER, like, in her brain. It's like things aren't working right up there."

Me: "Damn." [Well, it only took you 3 months to verify what took me 3 days, but hey.]

#numba 1 #numba 3 #you are all dumb if you ask me

"I don't understand those religions that have like, more than one god, it's just like, all the other religions have ONE god so why do you have more than one?"

"Well, they have completely separate roots from Abrahamic Religions. There are many polytheistic religions, you know, it doesn't make them any less legitimate." [I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY ALL RELIGIONS AREN'T THE SAME.]

#numba 3 #religion #i don't understand why people don't like the same things I do!!!#it is your world we just live in it #not like that's offensive or anything

"With new advances in HD technology, the makeup industry has had to change, because makeup can be seen on film. They often use airbrushing now."

"Oh my god, what is the point in HD then?"

"Uhh..." [My filmmaker brain doesn't know how to process this question.]

#does not compute #numba 3 #BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY??

"Hey, have you seen that sponge?"

[I threw it out because it was moldy and vile and it was stinking up the whole kitchen.] "Nope."

#numba 3 #lies for fun and profit

"It smells in here, doesn't it??"

"It smells like fish."

"Yeah, it smells! God, I can't figure out why."

"...Did you eat fish? I see fish in the sink."

"Yeah, but it's not that! It's something that smells!"

"...Okay." [You mean, the fish? In the sink?]

#numba 3 #just dumb

Guest star: Itp: Roommate #2's Childhood friend!

"I tried for a frat once. They had this party, and all the girls in the neighboring sorority were serving us food, it was great."

"...Wow. That's not sexist at all."

"Oh, it wasn't like...in a bad way, it was just, you know, a beautiful girl serving you."

"...Yep, not better."

"Well, the sorority and the frat were linked together. So if they needed something done around the house, a toilet fixed or something you, we'd help them out."

"You guys are a shining pillar of shattering gender roles."

#GUEST!#my wife is gone but I don't smell bacon!#no caption needed #way to set us back 60 years

Guest star: Itp: Roommate #3's Ex-boyfriend!

"I haven't actually READ any articles on this case, but I don't think Joe Paterno should have been fired. It's unfair."

"Uhhh...unfair to who? You should probably consider looking it up before you support someone more concerned with protecting reputations than protecting children who have been raped. Just saying." [Protip? YOU JUST GOT SERVED.]

#GUEST!#3's ex #groce #welcome to the nfl #outing child molesters > football

"People in the bio department are NERDS, you know? And they look at me, and they can just tell I have a social life and that annoys them, so they don't really talk to me."

"Really? That's surprising." [I would think the condescending attitude towards them would do it.]

#numba 3 #those FREAKS just won't talk to me!

"Hey, are you bothered by me having my boyfriend here?"

"No! I just...don't know how to handle the PDAs, they're not really my thing." [So let's just say that making out on the floor, right in front of us, while he kisses you from head to toe goes firmly in the category of not really my thing.]

#groce #numba 2 #public displays of OBJECTION

#2: "Is she talking to her ex?"

Me: "Well, she's shouting and there's a thinly hidden veneer of disdain, so I think so, yes." [And I am far more entertained than I should be.]

#numba 2 #numba 3 #sadism at its most delicious

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What I say & what I MEAN. Things said to roommates