scapegrace ramblings

juliana. this is my life, these are my stories.

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

december and still so warm

wowowowow. I can’t believe my first semester at school is done. Seems like just the other day I was just a feeble little freshman, eager to start my college experience. Just a few short months later, I have plenty, plenty of experiences...

Winter break is here, and it feels so good. I’m telling you man, life is pretty feckin great. I’ve been back in the Jers for only a few days, but I’ve been working with my horse a lot, and practicing my music tons. Hopefully I’ll be more fluent in the languages of guitar and mandolin by the time I go back to school in late January.

College has been....many things. Eye-opening. Self-discovering. Experimental. Challenging. Exhausting. But I mean all those things in a positive light.

Now here I sit, drinking a cup of kava and listening to a bit of Pearl Jam, while trying to ignore the looming thought of wisdom teeth surgery that I have tomorrow. Gotta dooooo whatcha gotta dooo :~)

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

you’re gonna look back and remember these kinda days

Despite having to wake up at the crack of ass for crew yesterday, it was a pretty rad day overall. The leaves are changing here in the rurality of upstate NY, and sweater weather has come early, as anticipated. 

I took a walk into downtown with a good friend and we took a trip to the guitar store. I gave a dollar to a homeless man on the corner, which made me feel nice. Afterwards, being the spontaneous person that I am, I bought a guitar. It’s super nice, it’s a Martin and the seller threw in a free travel bag and some picks at no cost and NO it wasn’t because I was flirting with him....

Anywho, me and my friend Matt are on our way back up to school when we see some homeless dudes jambin out on some guitars, so we stop by to take a listen. And we wind up jamming with them. One of the dudes named Stevie took my brand new guitar, tags still intact, and just jams away. His face, when he realized it was a Martin, lit up. He gave us his CD for free, although told us not to expect much from it. But that’s ok :)

At night I went to watch my friend’s breakdancing solo at some fundraising event and she KILLED it! 

The campus lake is one of my favorite late night chill spots. We just go there, jam out, play poi (see photo below), and talk, and just chill.

But my brand new poi BROKE and flew out into the lake. So it was midnight, and like fifty degrees, and I had to go out in the lake and get it -____-

Well it’s Sunday morning and I’m writing this in the lounge as I wait for some laundry to finish. Listening to some bands & artists I’ve recently discovered: Slowdive, Cigarettes After Sex, and Mazzy Star. Did you know there’s a music genre called shoegaze? it’s a subgenre of alt rock with a real snazzy sound, and I didn’t even know it had a name. Ya learn sumthin new every day! 

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

shoulda kept scrolling

Do you ever have those memories that are pretty random but they just stick out in your mind for some reason? Yeah, I have a lot of them.

There was this one time that I was with friends, and we were talking, and some stuff was happening, I guess. So I said something like, “sorry, I feel like I’m in a mood where I have no sensor, I feel as though I’m saying the very first thing that comes to mind.” and the two very rad people I was hanging with just looked at each other. And one of them turns to me. Looks me dead in the eye. And says, slowly. “Saying the first thing on your mind is probably the most beautiful thing in the world that a woman can do.”

I don’t know why I feel a lump in the back of my throat after I just typed those words. Nostalgia, I guess.

Goodnight, lovely people

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

vogon poetry

Sittin on my bed eating a sub thinking, woah man, I haven’t written anything on here in like a month. I wrote something in my notes app a couple of weeks ago and I read it again a day after. Here’s the tail end of it.

...so until then, follow these healthy tips and you'll be buzzering and beaming like the beautiful soul that you are. youre vivid, like a violet crafted from the finest swiss glassblowers in the galaxy. you're radiant, like a beam of light that's reflected from the smooth, painted surface of a red, white and blue sailboat on a cool April's morning. You sparkle, like a bit of glitter that's fallen off of a magician's tuxedo in the middle of his Las Vegas show. you're beautiful like a flower drawn by michaelangelo himself, with gold plaiting on eggshell white paper. i love you, whoever you are. never stop being you.

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

2 school 4 cool

Good news!! I’ve been in college for nearly a week and a half....and I’ve only cried one time B-) I don’t usually cry, but it’s like all my classwork hit me at once and I got really overwhelmed, and it was like this psychological downward spiral from there, like I’d drop out of college, live a fruitless life of poverty, and end up a crackwhore on the streets of downtown Trenton. Kidding! Although I was pretty stressed out.

But since then things have been looking up pretty well! I challenged myself to try something new, but I must’ve taken a really wrong turn and wound up joining the rowing crew team...I say this because I’m an equestrian, totally different from the vigorous expectations of gym time and uphill jogging that they put you through for crew. But hey, it’s something new.

The boys. Let me tell you. They’re all tryna get something from anyone this week, and although it’s weird, it also really appreciates friends that you can have of the same gender....

Eating this salad before crew practice tonight...then I got a lil date to go on...:) Ogre n out -Juliana 

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

cows, food, physics, fun

Life is pretty rad, man.

I think that’s saying something coming from an 18 year old kid to be hundreds of miles away from home, her friends, family, horse, and town that she knows so well.

Yesterday was the last day of my early jumpstart program, and I had a blast.....I managed to make some friends and met a cool guy, plus learned a lot about the area and things to do. Pictures!!

^ We went to Sunnyside Farm, a MASSIVE dairy farm in the area. I have never seen so many fuckin cows in my life.

^ An awesome, rustic farmer’s market. Such a country feel, and a huge medley of different foods, gifts, and crafts. Saw a lot of hippies, lol.

^ Now this was pretty sick. The Sciencenter, which is like a huge playground and discovery center to learn about physics, astronomy, anatomy....science in general. And I must say... *Bill Nye voice* science ruuules.

So much happened in the past few days, so many memories were made, and I couldn’t be happier with how things are going. I’m happy. I’m just authentically, wonderfully happy.

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

even though it was raining. although i’ll need to get used to that

Did the big thing today and moved into college!!1!!1!

It was exhausting; I got up at six this morning to say bye to Case, but not before hitting up the best bagel joint in town and getting some free food, because let’s be real, they all love me *hair flip*.

Well the drive wasn’t too bad, and the dorm looks super organized right now. My roomate is friggen awesome and real down to earth, she’s a gymnast :o

I gotta looooong day tomorrow, man. I’m here at college 3 days early because I’m in the jump start program, so I’mma try and get some schlep before a lot of hiking, shopping, learning and socializing tomorrow. Nighty night:)

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

there’s a tarot card for that

Wellp, the time has finally come. Tomorrow I leave for college. In the midst of heaps and piles of organized chaos I sit on my bed with my laptop, in dire need of a break. So here I am.

I’ve been up & at ‘em since 7 this morning. Got up nice and early for a ride on my horse, and it was the best ride to end on for the summer. Throughout his training process, we’ve sort of plateau’d lately. He hasn’t been picking up on certain components that he should by this point in training. But today he was remarkable--he did everything that I asked him to do obediently and eagerly. My trainer was amazed, and she asked, “so did you have a really good dream or something last night? Because this is the most amazing I’ve ever seen him!” and I said, “no, although I went to a psychic.” And we all laughed.

This part was true though. Sometimes I have these spur-of-the-moment moments, and I was with a good friend downtown yesterday night (if you’re reading this, hi!!). We went to a psychic in a little notch between two larger stores, and although it was a bit pricey, I thought it was worth it.

According to the psychic, I will have two male pregnancies, live until at least seventy-five (that’s it?????), no divorces, have one steady and successful job as opposed to many short-term jobs, and will be generally happy in life. She said there was nothing outstandingly negative, and said some specific things about me which were super true, which really “psyched” me out, cause how would you know those things before even getting to know me? Some trippy shit, man.

So I dunno. There’s a logical explanation for everything, and a palm reading being the reason for one of the best rides on my horse in a while is not exactly logical. It does, however, make for a good story.

Well, back to packing. Tomorrow I’ll be up at the crack of ass once more (it never ends!!) to ride Case, then it’s off to my home away from home until returning briefly in November.

Crazy, man. I remember walking through the halls of my elementary school, awed by how far away college was for me and how old college students seemed. Time flies, dude.

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

shop discount: because you’d only run into jerks at a pac sun

With the start of college looming near, things have really started picking up momentum ‘round here. 

Knocked a buncha shopping outta the way at Target yesterday (or as I call it in attempts to sound high-end, Targé), and went to Ross’ today to snag some cheapie deals on dresses and the like. As I was browsing through the racks of clothes, a dude walked up to me. I noticed him earlier because we made weird eye contact when I first came into the store. Out of nowhere, there he stood before me. “Excuse me,” he said, with a foreign accent I identified instantly, “may I ask of your opinion?” I said sure, and he held up two different maroon shirts. I pointed to the one on his left, and he thanked me, and we started talking. He hailed from Turkey, and we friended each other on Facebook after a little bit. Other than the aftermath of trying to change the language on Facebook back from Turkish to English, it was a cool experience to talk to someone like that.

It had me thinking. I wonder if an American would approach a girl the same way? Every time I’ve been approached by a dude in public, it’s been different from this encounter for the most part. But to have a foreign dude come up to you, it was different from the rest. There’s gotta be a nationality-based correlation of sorts that ties this up, because I know there are studies of different behaviors of citizens in different countries and how they treat people, more particularly, females.... Anywho, I love meeting new people, so it was pretty neat, nonetheless.

On another note, I realized I had no nice photos of me and my pride and joy, my horse, Case. So I decided that needed to be fixed, especially because I need some photos to cry over as I leave him for the next three months! Here’s a photo from our lil photoshoot yesterday...

I’m off to get my Netflix and herbal tea game on. Good night, world.

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

raccoon appreciation

I was driving home after dusk from the farm where I keep my horse at and I had a sudden realization.

It’s easy to speed down gently winding country backroads...brights on, windows down, music up. But I slammed on the brakes when I saw a whole herd of cats make their way across the narrow street.

Skidding to a stop, I looked out the window, and they weren’t cats!! Instead, five or maybe six raccoons stopped in their tracks, then looked at each other as if conferring on what to do. They just stood there. I looked at them, then they looked at me, not a sound was between us as my silver hybrid’s engine silenced when I halted the car to a complete stop.

I’ve seen waterfalls cascade down magnificent cliffs, I’ve seen lush valleys, newborn babies, warmblood horses and delicious cheesecake, but this was definitely just as beautiful. 

I haven’t been feeling uber positive about some things lately, and I dunno why the following thought struck me subsequently following the raccoons, but this is what came to mind. The coon crossing was something I’d never seen before, furthermore, it was something beautiful I’d never seen before. Every day is a new opportunity to see more amazing things that you have never seen before. There’s so much to see and experience and do and feel! you just gotta LIVE! Just keep living and seeing and being!!!

Appreciate the little things, man. I don’t really know why that spoke to me so much, but it did make me smile. 

Headlights emerged around the bend ahead, and I tapped the horn to warn the coons away so they wouldn’t be hit by the oncoming car. They ran for the woods, taking refuge in a big tree, and I continued down the winding road home.

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

fried oreos...hell on the arteries, heaven on the soouuull

As summer looms to a close, it seems almost stressful trying to fit in all the fun things before heading back to the old grind. Except this time it’s a new grind, because I’ll be off to college!

Damn, when they say time flies, it fliiiiiies. I mean, high school was the longest four years ever, but there were a lot of good times that made it go by super fast.

Today was a rollercoaster, it started with an argument with my mother that had me pretty miffed till the evening. But we went to this cool music fest with funnel cake, fried oreos and onion rings, all sinfully deep-fried to deliciousness. It was a perfect summer’s night, the sun danced above us in a magnificent spectacle of colors, each minute’s elapse altering the color scheme slightly.

The hula hoops!! I got hella inspired by this one lady. She was tan and fit and toned, and DAMN I don’t know how she made the hula hoop move that way.

Makes me wanna break out my hula hoop and learn some dank tricks. Too bad I probably don’t even have one anymore :’(

Time to kick back and listen to a little Eric Church with a tall glass of ice water. Stay hydrated y'all B-)

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

on stars and some philosophical revelations

Do you ever just look up at the stars?

Today was a full day, started out with a killer breakfast of avocados, tea and other wholesome deliciousness. Then it was off to pick up The Crew to head over to Six Flags B-)

Afterwards we hit up this snazzy underground tea place where we got some rooibos and “Turkish Dream” tea. It was a gorgeous day.

We topped it off by lightin up a fire chez moi and making s’mores, of course they tasted pretty different because the only chocolate I had in my house was organic, fair trade orange-infused extra dark chocolate. It was a flavor explosion of citrus harmonized with that traditional taste of graham crackery, marshmallowy, gluteny goodness.

But then, the stars! How radiant & beautiful they were, how bright they appeared against a zaffre blue night sky. Like silver sequins scattered across a veil of nothingness, only accompanied by our moon and the occasional plane. Orion’s Belt is one of my favorites to spot out, Alnitak, Alnilam and Mintaka strung together to form one of many amazing asterisms.

Last night I was surfing the net, and somehow ended up reading all sorts of philosophical theories, especially philosophy of the mind. I never paid much attention to them until recently, but they’re truly trippy to read and ponder upon. As I gazed at the stars, I couldn’t help but think about these mysterious philosophical theories. The night sky seemed to make me want to think about them more. Solipsism, phenomenalism, free will...I just thought about those concepts, maybe it was because I was gazing upon the vastness of what was right above and connecting it to the vastness of what life might actually mean. Totally an over thinker, if you didn’t know that about me yet.

Space, man. that shit’s crazy. I wish I understood it more, but for the moment all I can do is appreciate it. Here’s a photo of my midnight board sesh right before staring at the sky for an hour.

time to chill out to some Chet Baker and head to bed. It’s 2:03 am, I reallie should get my sleeping schedule turned right, but nah. Goodnight, world

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

the world needs more spinach, not more motherf*ckers like me

I thought I should document the fact that I went on my very first solo grocery shopping adventure today B-) 

Better yet, I bought only the good eats that are good for the mind body and soul yah know? We’re talking lemons, apples, grapes, AVOCADOES which i’ve recently come to notice i have a profound love for...

Made some delicious avocado, tomato and egg on a FRESH roll, with black pepper and olive oil, hell yeah.

I’m super manic about good food, man. Who knew grocery shopping, although requiring effort and motivation, could be pretty rad. Time to go and enjoy a few more *fruits* of my labor.........(sorry).

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

happiness isn’t the shit in your closet

Well shit, I have three different emails for three different tumblrs. whatever man, lol.

So today is August 5th and I’ve given myself a summer project to work on these past few weeks. I’ve decided to become a minimalist. what’s a minimalist? Basically it’s one of the best lifestyle decisions I’ve ever made. It’s about getting rid of just “things” and focusing on the real shit, man. By “things” I mean material objects.

So these past few weeks I’ve been rifling through everything I possess. It’s not just about de-clutterring, nono. It’s de-OWNing. Like if you don’t want something, you throw that thing out, man! In all seriousness, I believe that the less you own, the more you have. A quote from one of my favorite films, Fight Club, spoken by Tyler Durden (Chuck Palahniuk): “The things you own end up owning you.”

One of the traits I pride myself in is the fact that I don’t get emotionally attached to objects. I’ve unearthed things deep within the bowels of my closet...dating back to the dark ages of middle school and earlier...and it would be something that might have sentimental value to anyone else. We’re talking things like letters from penpals and diary entries scrawled into countless marble composition notebooks by my third-grade self. I don’t know what I was high off of as a second grader, but I even re-discovered my post-it note collection, and it was embarrassingly massive.

It feels good, sorting things into piles of trash and donations. Becoming a minimalist also changes your outlook on life; eating better, drinking more water, appreciating the little things, and being more conscientious of the stuff you purchase. Stuff. I hate that word. I feel like if you buy something that fits into the category of the word “STUFF”, it really can’t be that important, you know?

See, this is what I mean. I’ve got myself overthinking these things, but not really. I think it makes sense. I’ll revisit this when I’ve made some more progress. Enjoy this photo of The Cleanout so far.

[scapegrace-ramblings-blog]

Pilot

This is my first blog post. I can’t say it’s my first blog post ever, because I’ll admit, the past few attempts were quite unsuccessful. And embarrassing. Thank God nobody saw them, but this is the internet, so I could be extremely wrong.

Anywho, I’m an over thinker, an adventurer, a dreamer. It could be cool to document some neat stuff. Conveniently enough, I also am a writer. So why the hell not write about it? With the power of internet! B-)

This could turn out a few ways. So here goes nothing…