so like yeah

heiratics’ vent blog, ooc unless given to your muse

[scareatics]

god im so fucking boring

[scareatics]

oh my god oh my god oh my g

[scareatics]

sometimes i forget i have crippling depression. and then there’s times like these!

[scareatics]

i keep going over the things he’s said over and over. i love him so much

[scareatics]

i’ve never been this horny in my life

[scareatics]

just saving this.

[scareatics]

my guts: rearranged

my heart: full

my brain: absolute mush

[scareatics]

maybe i can finally sleep now

[scareatics]

“what you want matters you matter”

[scareatics]

“this is stupid that im having to make this decision i already made the decision to ask you out in the first place! so obviously thats what i want YOURE the one whos making me be thoughtful and shit its stupid! i think maybe YOU need to think about what it is YOU want”

i had this all typed out to send and i wont do it but god dammit im so fed up with this!

[scareatics]

like obviously i want to be with him but who cares what i want? what i want isnt whats best all the time. it isnt end all be all. the world doesn’t revolve around me.

[scareatics]

dirk seems to think its an obvious choice. maybe i made it seem that way. i think its stupid its a choice in the first place! and yet here i am, struggling with it.

[scareatics]

fuck my entire life

[scareatics]

im so anxious. im so tired of crying every day! this is stupid! thered better be a damn good reason for this

[scareatics]

i dont know what to do now

[scareatics]

if you hate me just tell me no instead of playing with me. at least give me that

[scareatics]

do i message again? do i NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN?