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it’s thursday so it’s throwback story time. when i was fourteen, i had to sign up for electives for the first time as you all know. at the time, i was in cheer camp when the electives started to be available for registration so i was kinda annoyed but i was also having too much fun at camp to really leave for a few days to sign up for school so i called my mom and was like “sign me up for the music classes”. WELL the phones at camp weren’t great (and where we were was a dead zone so i couldn’t use my phone ah olden days) and so my mom didn’t hear that part

so she signed me up for home ec and journalism. that’s not where the story gets good, by the way. the story starts to get good when i first went into home economics - because we all know that’s a good story waiting there and i had to explain WHY i ended up in home ec.

home ec, as we all know, consists of three things: cooking, taking care of a baby, and sewing. we are going to hear the story about me taking care of a small fake baby. so i get the assignment and i’m assigned to our drummer because we both were unfortunate enough to land in home ec (shout out to cheer camp and band camp). neither of us knew what the fuck to do with the baby so i was like “let’s shove it in my locker”.

well it started to CRY while we weren’t there and everyone thought i got pregnant at cheer camp until they opened up my locker to see the fake baby. we both got f’s for abandoning our child in my locker.

#long post /

iwantoremainanonymous

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I was at the post office one day when an elderly lady in front of me asked for a single stamp. Obviously considering this a waste of her time, the woman behind the counter makes a snorting noise, rips off a stamp and flicks it across the counter where it lands on the floor. She doesn’t apologise or offer the lady another stamp. The old lady considers for a second, picks up the stamp and leaves her 50 cent piece on the floor in its place. She says a cheery “Thank you!” and walks out, and the woman behind the counter has to walk around to pick up the money. It made me smile for the rest of the day.

#ME #I AM THIS ELDERLY LADY #PETTY REVENGE LMAO HOW ME

scarlet lakis + personality

“when i was younger, i would scream stranger danger to get out of doing things and interacting with other kids”

#scarlet.moodboard #there we go

imagine this just randomly screaming “STRANGER DANGER” any time you tried to make her do anything she deemed unacceptable. i was a ticking time bomb. if mom tried to make me get the vegetables in the store? STRANGER DANGER. dad tried to make me get on the school bus? STRANGER DANGER. i was a living nightmare. a true horror story. she was cute when you first took her home but suddenly... at any moment... she would open her mouth and scream. STRANGER DANGER. you would never know when it would happen. and i continued my rampage of terror until i was six.

#.frozen

no but really i was told to yell stranger danger any time a strange person tries to make me do something i didn’t want to do so that’s why i deadass screamed “STRANGER DANGER” any time someone tried to make me do school work because to me, all teachers were strange. my teachers hated me so much but i was also really cute so they weren’t super mad

the other story i have was my first experience with a boyfriend. i was five and a guy (maybe six or seven, not much older than me really) was like “you’re my girlfriend now”. and i just stared at him and then i started screaming “STRANGER DANGER” over and over again really loud and kicked him in the shins repeatedly until i was pulled away from him while screaming “STRANGER DANGER, STRANGER DANGER” and they had to sit me down, call my dad and say That’s Not What Stranger Danger Means and i was like “he’s a stranger and trying to make me do something i don’t want to do do” while my dad was busting his ass laughing because he thought it was so funny i responded to someone trying to make me their girlfriend with “stranger danger”

we’re doing stories? okay one time when i was sixteen, way back in houston, i really wanted to go to this concert but my parents were like oh no you’ll get sold into slavery or something equally extreme that could happen but in the great scale of things probably not since i wear steal toe boots to every show i go to. anyway i was a stubborn mule of a child, so i was like guess i’ll sneak out. WELL i didn’t exactly think that entirely through because we lived in a townhouse and my bedroom was on the second floor and we were roughly fifteen miles away from the venue. but whatever! i stole my mother’s keys from her purse before going up to my bedroom all I’M GOING TO BED EARLY BECAUSE I’M SO MAD AT YOU and i tried to sneak out my bedroom window. well, i broke my leg because i miscalculated the landing and my mom came out when i finally started half screaming, half crying and she was like, in spanish, “ah you moron you should’ve waited until we went to bed to sneak out”

anyway i had to have a cast for three weeks and i didn’t get to go the concert but i never tried to pull the wool over my mom’s eyes again

#.flashbackstory