schizoetic

[33] (he/him) Schizophrenia, OCD. Landback. ACAB. My favourite hobbies are playing guitar, writing, songwriting and producing music. Cats and dogs are both equally awesome. I'd love to do more travelling and hiking some day. Been in a loving queer relationship with my partner for 10 years. I post about my life with schizophrenia and thoughts associated with it.

[schizoetic]

Here is my latest song! My partner who helped me through everything my schizophrenia involves is now helping me with my music. Very grateful for their endless support! We hope you enjoy! <3 No AI was used in this (or any of my music) and you can find me on most platforms :)

[lestatfag]

STAY SAFE!! [ID: the Gilbert Baker pride flag with the words “Happy pride to all those who are unable to celebrate openly and safely. You are loved and seen!” in all-caps black text over it. /end ID]

[important-cat-pics]

[jakeperalta]

not using AI genuinely feels like the rest of the world is experiencing some kind of mass amnesia. if someone says they never use it, the immediate response is that can't be true because "everyone" uses it to write their emails or answer their questions. saw a comment suggesting that not using chatgpt to write an essay is "like the 90s". girl I graduated in 2021 and we weren't doing that! how is it that everyone has suddenly forgotten that they were entirely capable of doing these things all by themselves for their entire lives up until the past few years!! am I going crazy!!!

[schizoetic]

Here is my latest song! My partner who helped me through everything my schizophrenia involves is now helping me with my music. Very grateful for their endless support! We hope you enjoy! <3 No AI was used in this (or any of my music) and you can find me on most platforms :)

[schizoetic]

There's some truth to psychotic delusion. No one can draw the line. Psychiatrists aren't god nor do they possess the answers to the Universe.

[unversedirken]

Look, im saying this as a person who has struggled with psychosis, psychotic delusions. Hell ive had full on mental breaks and really lost it before.

What your saying is dangerous and you need to be careful both you as in yourself and what you encourage in others

I realize theres something so safe and comforting sometimes about the delusions. Even if they are destroying you. Your brain truely believes it and to have anyone saying its untrue or questioning it, fighting against it..

Its hard

Its uncomfortable

Hell its painful sometimes

But delusions are something that depending on what they are, can lesson your quality of life, can turn you against your loved ones (which can cause you to lesson your support you have) they can be straight up dangerous and detremental

And worst case if the wrong delusion is encouraged it can lead to death

DONT GET ME WRONG PEOPLE STRUGGLING WITH PSYCHOSIS ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE VICTIMS OF ABUSE THAN CAUSE IT THATS A IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER

but i know people who killed themselves because of their delusions.

Hell theres the cases of religious pyschosis. Where people have sacrificed their children to "god"

PLEASE i beg of you tread carefully because encouraging the wrong person/delusion can be SUPER BAD

and its important to recognize that

[schizoetic]

I hear you completely and I apologize for what I wrote. I'm no stranger to really bad delusions and I think it's good to be mindful of others. Thank you for keeping me in check.

[herpsandbirds]

[depsidase]

[lookmomitsmytmblr]

ily people with delusions and/or psychosis. I'm glad you exist and I'm so proud of you for making it this far.

[deadinparadice]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline:[phone]

Suicide Hotline:[phone]

LifeLine:1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline:[phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673

Grief Support:1-650-321-5272

Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale:After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem):08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem):08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders):08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care:08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600

Drinkline:0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales:0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland:08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline:[phone]

India Suicide Helpline:022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada):1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7

suicide hotlines;

Argentina:54-0223-493-0430

Australia:13-11-14

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(Singapore:1-800-221-4444)

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Trinidad and Tobago:868-645-2800

Ukraine:0487-327715

[writing2changetheworld]

No one absolutely has to reblog this.

[eptck]

you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you have to be kind. you have to be kind.

[schizoetic]

I have never really seen anyone talk about what it's like when you're first coming out of psychosis in the psych ward, so here goes. You start coming back to reality in what is essentially solitary confinement. You see there is nothing in your room. It's all bare with the bare minimum. No TV, no window, nothing but a bed and a bathroom. Large metal doors lock you away. The walls are white brick and enormous safety-glass windows expose your every move to the nurses. Cameras are above you and all you have on is underwear and a gown in this cold room. In every nook and cranny there is filth and there is a lingering smell of shit in the air because the person in the room next to you defecated and nurses are ignoring them. All you have are thoughts and blinding lights shining above you.

Staff acts weird towards you. They infantilize or act annoyed and you realize this is how they have been to you the entire time. You feel a huge sense of shame and embarrassment. The way they interact with you does nothing but show you that they think you should feel the way that you do. There is no greetings, nothing happy, nothing welcoming, nor comforting.

The shower nearly burns you because it is so hot. No matter how much you want to feel the wind or the sun, you aren't allowed out. Doesn't matter how much you beg or how you adjust your behaviour or words. You are trapped, you are alone and no one is calling for you. The boredom is unbearable, the silence is maddening and the confinement is torture.

No one knows you're getting better in your mind other than yourself. Eyes are on you all the time, all day, every day. Privacy is impossible and if you spend too much time in the bathroom they invite themselves in and check on you. At night time you get flashlights shined in your face preventing you from getting a full nights sleep. Doesn't matter if you don't want meds, they force them upon you in any way necessary. You are here by law and you have no rights.

All you have is fleeting privileges depending on how the staff feel about you. Can't make a call or compose a text, listen to music with headphones, have a cigarette or anything else soothing or normal. A nurse could snap their fingers and have you restrained with the dark blue thick straps that attach to your bed while making snide, egotistical and authoritative comments. They do it with a smirk on their face.

You remember your family shaking their heads at you, displaying that they were fearful or embarrassed and completely uncompassionate. They, somehow, made it about them and their own minor unease while you were literally fighting for your life and sanity. You also notice that they show up less and less even though you need their support more than ever.

At night, your blanket will barely keep you warm because it's so thin. Your pillow isn't soft whatsoever and is composed of plastic. Getting up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night has you greeted with an icy cold, hard floor. You can barely see yourself in the mirror in the bathroom because it's polished metal and not glass. You have been stripped of your humanity and you can't even see yourself to remind yourself that you are. You lose track of time and the seasons depending on how long they keep you. This is suppose to be a place where you heal and feel better but everywhere you turn makes it nearly impossible. You are being forced to stay in a place being monitored by people who treat your condition and all of its symptoms like it's a personal failure. How can one be expected to heal when all of this is simultaneously happening?

[my-castles-crumbling]

me: *puts on playlist I made myself, perfectly curated with all my favorite songs* me: *skips song* me: *skips song* me: *skips song* me: *skips song* me: Who the fuck made this bullshit playlist?

[snoopylovessoup]

[anxietyproblem]

[wardenmusic]

[submersero]

[schizoetic]

The antipsychotic clozapine both saved my life and gave me one. Before I took it I had every symptom in the schizo book. I couldn't sit without rocking or stand without pacing. I had a massive open-sore on most of the back of my head because I couldn't stop picking it. Thinking was near impossible as was socializing. My anxiety was intense to the point that I couldn't leave my home or talk to like virtually anyone, even online. Tried so many other medications but they all barely worked for me. I thought it was the meds making me have a hard time thinking but now i realize it was just my schizophrenia. Used to be so scared of taking medications and even ashamed. But now if someone judges me for them they can go fuck themselves. I don't care if telling people makes them uncomfortable because I care more about my sanity than their judgement.