The Windcutter

Screedius Tollinix, Knight Academic-in-waiting at the Knights Academy.

[screedius-tollinix]

have you returned those fake gourmet hotdogs yet

"I have not. I am awaiting a reply to the letter I sent the manufacturer." 

[screedius-tollinix]

yes yes all this talk of hygiene is very nice, but I would like to jump in and ask the real question. Is your chest hair happy?

"It is not a sentient being and as such does not have emotions."

[screedius-tollinix]

my dad says he does it, though. are you calling him a liar?

"I do not presume to know your father's hygiene routine, however, it has been my experience that doing so is highly abnormal."

[screedius-tollinix]

but, like, do you condition your chest hair? do you comb it?

"I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how chest hair works."

[screedius-tollinix]

have you ever considered braiding your chest hair?

"I am not sure that is even physically possible."

[screedius-tollinix]

how's the chest hair doin'?

"I'm afraid I do not understand. I suppose it is fine?"

[art-of-swords-deactivated201705]

Rapier hilts

Rapier info

[screedius-tollinix]

Do you have any other hobbies than staring out of windows in a manly way?

"Staring out of windows in a manl-, I am sorry what?"

[screedius-tollinix]

What do you think of Twig Verginix? He's the son of that... Quintinius, of the Knight's academy? Say, what do you think of him, too?

"Squire Verginix certainly has potential. He may well be one to watch. As for this Twig, I prefer to reserve judgement until I have properly met him."

[screedius-tollinix]

what kind of music really gets your feet moving to the beat?

"A decent march is always appreciated."

[screedius-tollinix]

I think you'd look really nice with painted nails... Fingers might be too flashy for a Knight Academic, but what are your feelings on painting your toe nails?

"I'm afraid I do not see the point in doing so. Why paint them if they are only to be covered?"

[marisisyourqueen-deactivated201]

Screedius sits by the fire. He’s feeling toesty warm

[stormhornets]

Screedius sets sail, he feels calm and toetally in control.

[marisisyourqueen-deactivated201]

He tried not to think too hard about his mission- he doesn’t want to be too feetalistic about the whole thing

[stormhornets]

He thinks back on his training, feels reassured, and allows himself a moment of colloquialism, I am going to nail this mission.

[screedius-tollinix]

((I'm disappointed you didn't take the opportunity to say I am going toe nail this mission.))

[marisisyourqueen-deactivated201]

Screedius sits by the fire. He’s feeling toesty warm

[stormhornets]

Screedius sets sail, he feels calm and toetally in control.

[marisisyourqueen-deactivated201]

He tried not to think too hard about his mission- he doesn’t want to be too feetalistic about the whole thing

[screedius-tollinix]

"Get out."

[screedius-tollinix]

tell me, do you ever indulge in some honest to sky pampering? put your feet up, read a nice barkscroll, get a manicure, maybe a pedicure?

"No. I do not."

[screedius-tollinix]

Soo, Screedius. You got yourself a gurlfriend? A boyfriend?

"No, I do not. A Knight Academic-in-waiting no time for such things of folly."

[fon-marov]

I’M LAUGHING REALLY HARD BECAUSE I’M FOLLOWING ALL OF YOU ON SCREEDIUS AND I HAVE THIS SUPER GREAT IMAGE OF HIM JUST SITTING THERE WATCHING A BUNCH OF IDIOTS RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES SCREECHING

[marisisyourqueen-deactivated201]

"These fools would not last one moment in our most honourable knight’s academy"

[screedius-tollinix]

"If this is to be the future of The Edge I am not certain I wish to remain here."

[screedius-tollinix]

Do you have any regrets about dedicating your life to the Knights Academy

"None at all. I am honored to have been chosen to serve Sanctaphrax."