SecretSoul

Weirdo xD

[llekno]

[raggedy-angelx]

Finally, a book I can relate to

[doctorwhogifts]

The Doctor and Rose Doctor Who Rose Tyler Themed Jackie Quote Tardis Blue Glass Coffee and Tea Mug by SugarBeesEngraving (25.00 USD) http://ift.tt/1uMo7Pc

[yiolent-deactivated20140529]

[mapleflavourednerd-blog]

If you’re having a bad day, just watch this until it gets better :D

[earthstory]

Yeah I already need this. 

[wnq-movies]

Well, I think that when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away, you know? You snap back to being important to each other because you still are.

Orange Is The New Black (2013)

[scntrx-deactivated20191108]

[secretsoul0624]

Just imagine what would happen if Merlin and Harry Potter met. Oh my gosh. 

[secretsoul0624]

Oh...

That moment when you hit a realization of something, is phonomenal. Whenever you sort of click, it has a feeling of something so very different. I love that feeling. Of how the bad just kind of goes away. It’s fantastic. I wish I could have that feeling more often. 

[wnq-anonymous]

People need to be encouraged. People need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. People need to be believed in - told they are brave, and smart, and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream - and more. Remind each other of this.

Stacey Jean Speer (via wnq-anonymous)

[deep-sexts]

[your-health-hazard]

[secretsoul0624]

Something Unexpected

Have you ever been in love? Like, truly in love. Well, if not, try it. Whenever you are in love, it’s I guess as they always say. It’s a roller coaster. An emotional one that doesn’t always make sense. Let me tell you something about it. 

I’ve been in relationships before, ones where I swore that I was “in love” with them. They of course always swore back that they did too. But deep down, I always kind of knew that it was never real. Then one day, I met James. 

James isn’t what you would call your average guy. He is so, so much more. James is funny and sweet, he is always trying to make everyone laugh. He makes you think that he is a happy person and that everything is okay, but really, it’s not. That’s one of the things we share in common, hiding our feelings and not letting others know how you really feel. We both love music and expressing ourselves through it. I would say that it is one of the major was that we communicate. 

I met James at the beginning of Freshman year, he at this time was a Junior. He was in my French 1 class, and at some points we were seated next to each other. Just glancing at him and knowing some of him from class, not much because he kept somewhat to himself, I never really thought that I would ever really talk to the guy.

Eventually, James became friends with some of my friends through band and French (I’m a flagget aka in guard), and so I soon knew who he was. I became friends with some more people, and lets just say I first started talking to him because of his ex. That, however, is a long story for another time and besides the point. I had James’ kik, because I had somewhat talked to him before planning something for a friend. I had never really talked to him though until one night. 

James and I both sorta deal with the same things in life. He had recently been to a mental hospital and I had thought about going there, along with being threatened to be sent. I wanted to know what it was like, so I messaged him and asked him about it. That was how I guess you could say we hit it off. He told me that he was always there if I needed him (something he does to a lot of people, he is just too caring), and we soon became good friends. 

Our friendship evolved fast, and we talked all the time. It was great to have someone who understood you and he helped me out tremendously.  He has saved my life on many accounts in the amount of time that I have known him. Of course, our friendship didn’t last too long. It soon became more than that. James and I did something that we never even thought we would...we fell in love. 

James and I have been together for 5 months now. What I feel for him is something that I have never felt before. I know that I truly love him and that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Whenever I am with him, he instantly brightens up my day. He is not only my lover, but also my best friend. Sometimes, not all friends last like we thought, or they get upset with you. He of course, is there when I need him, listening and being the best friend ever. 

James and I have had our fair share of ups and downs. Sometimes more downs than ups, but that is alright. We know that our love for each other is true, and that our bond is unbreakable. Whenever you find that person that makes you feel like no other, keep them. If this person is a great lover and friend, then that is one way to know. If you look at them and see your entire world and can automatically picture the rest of your life by their side, make sure that you don’t let them go. 

Love is something beautiful. It is powerful and strange (Yes, I just quoted Frozen). But it is also the best thing ever. Don’t go looking for it. Let it come to you and you will get the most amazing guy ever. Just like I did. 

[secretsoul0624]

Society

Today in class, my English teacher asked us when exactly we started to notice that the world, and the people in them, are cruel. As she said this I sat there and thought about when I truly started to realize this. Growing older, I have started to realize more and more just how awful our world and society is. We are horrible people. 

But as I continued to think, I thought way deep into my childhood, wondering if I could remember when and if there was a time when I never knew that people were so mean. I thought about when I was just a little thing, remembering back to my first few years of school (I am know a sophomore.) Looking back, I thought of in the third grade, when I first lost a friend by them using me. I had known well enough that people were ruthless by then, I just didn’t know that people would use you as their friend. 

Finally, I started to remember. When I was in kindergarten, yes kindergarten, was about the first time that I can remember realizing such a thing. I was the second youngest in my class, yet the teacher chose me to do an important task. We had a girl in our small classroom of about 18 or less, and this girl was something different. She didn’t like coming to school with us, and probably didn’t like us in general. I remember one day when her dad had to bring her into the classroom, carrying her, and he tried to get her off of him. The girl sat by me in class, and I remember not long after that how our teacher had called me out into the hall. I was told how she wanted me to help the new girl there. She told me that she wanted me to be nice to her and that was in charge of her and that she was in my care. This is a lot to put on a 5 year old, but I did as she said. That memory may not seem like something that told how cruel people are, but to me it did. It told me that even when we are little, people can be mean and that we have to stick up for others and our friends. 

Another story that I remember would not necessarily a story, but a sting of events in a sort of way. Growing up and going through this same elementary school for most of my life, I learned quickly how people didn’t like people who were different. This wasn’t a thing about color or race either, those were okay. This was about people with disabilities. We had a kid in our class who was just like us. He was like any other kid in our small grade, only he was a bit slower. He had some drooling problems which was something that he couldn’t necessarily help, and people just did not seem to like him. He was of course loud and obnoxious, just like all of the other boys our age. With only one difference, no one wanted to be his friend. Everyone pretended to be nice to this boy and to be his friend, yet no one really wanted to. If someone felt sorry for him, they would kind of befriend him, but not too much. I had points in school where I would lose and gain friends. They would come and go, and it was all ridiculous drama to have at such an age. This boy, however, would always be my friend if needed. He was always there to play with, and I would invite him to come join me and some of my other friends in our games. I would stick up for him and I always hated the way that the others would be mean to him. I experienced this all through elementary until 4th or 5th grade. At that time I moved and so did he. I did get his number though at some point and we will talk about things. I haven’t seen him since, but I hope he is doing well and I know that he is smart enough to not need some jerks like those from before. 

You might think that I just noticed how cruel the world is from seeing these things, but that isn’t true. I also have had tough times in school and with people and I still do. People are rude and mean. They are ruthless and don’t always care if they hurt you or not. Help us change our society and the way that you are. If you care about someone, make sure that they know. If not, who knows what could happen to them. 

[secretsoul0624]

Someone kill me. Just do it now. Please.

[scntrx-deactivated20191108]

[secretsoul0624]

Fuck Life.

Okay guys, story time! I really haven’t shared much about myself on here. I mean, none of you people really pay any attention to what I say, but whatever. Right now, I just need to write and pour out my damn heart.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was in a mental hospital. I had over dosed and tried to kill myself. Why doesn’t really matter right now. What matters is that when I was in the urgency care and at Children Mercy’s, I didn’t want to harm myself ever again.  I had plenty of time to think about it since I was in the hospital all day and it scared me. I knew that what I did was stupid. 

While I was at the hospital, we were learning ways to cope with when we get depressed and things like that. Writing is one of my favorite things ever and it really helps me. But, so does talking to people. Just having someone be there and listen so that I can rant, and then comfort me when I cry, is just something that really helps me and works for me. 

Lately, even out of the hospital, things haven’t been that great. Of ourse I’m still the same dumbass and I mess things up. So, right now I kinda have all of this stress from that going on, which possibly could be a part of the reason why I tried to kill myself in the first place. I also have a ton of homework with things that I missed, including lots of tests, and homework from now. I’m trying to juggle these two things with guard (or flags). It is no doubt, living hell.

Today, I had practice, which of course is 5 hours every Wednesday. I also started my period during practice, and had 50 million dumb things happen to me. But that is why I am so ticked. I’m stressed out like no other right now, and I’m upset and just need tp rant and have someone listen. I go to my friendish person. We’ve been having rough times lately, just drama. Anyways, i needed someone tp talk to and I know that he would listen. As I ask him if we can just put away our who ordeal for tonight because I am a stressed mess and I need him to talk to, he tells me no. He brings up the whole dramatic thing, which really just kind of pissed me off. Dude, I just need tp rant and all and you have to be an asshole about it. Why can’t people just set aside their lives for a second and listen? I do that for people. Why can’t you for me?