Somnium

Poetry blog: https://arcanusnox.tumblr.com/ Male, early 50's, history, poetry, music, art. Occasionally present.

[urbnite]

[1maginary1ife]

Because this is @secretumpoeta ’s favorite princess.

[secretumpoeta]

Make a dream of me and give me peace. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

My words travel such great distances to reach both heart and soul. I often wonder if you can feel them. I'm not sure how or in what manner. Do they trace across your flesh as a warm and gentle breeze in spring? Are they a faint whisper late at night when you are all alone? Or do they feel as a small flame burning deep within? I simply do not know as these are secrets kept hidden between two hearts long since parted. I can only hope you still feel me beat within your chest and my kiss upon your brow. I can only hope. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

I feel her presence. She's like a ghost. She exists only in dream, in the darkness. I feel her there. I cannot see her or hear her but I know. I reach out into this void in which my eyes cannot pierce but my heart knows what lies within. I search and I search to no avail. The vastness strangles me with its temptation of a her I cannot hold. And so I am left with this emptiness that has slipped its noose over my head as It pulls me when I dare look away. Is it her? Or some twist of fate that would see me suffer. How does one endure missing a piece of themselves? It is as if I am slowly bleeding to death. Memories and love drip upon pages of which I have lost count. This longing will consume me. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

I am constantly both baffled and entertained by the human heart. How some are slaves to this condition. How others are seemingly oblivious to such things. She has burrowed underneath my skin and as hollowed out a place within my heart. What perplexes me about the human soul is how they remain there. At least for me. No matter the circumstance. In good or bad. They are there. Some mystical presence that defies logic or science. Love makes fools of them both. I am comforted when she is near. And feel a longing when she is far. I have been this way for decades and even fear death. Not for what it is mind you. But for what it will bring. Separation. This simple notion of taking your last breath with her brings me to my knees. It utterly destroys me. How can one be immune to such things? I'll count myself a slave to this condition. To her. And will love her for as long I walk this earth. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

Allow me to love you from afar at least. I am too horrible a creature to be near you. With you. I will always find a find to destroy that which is precious. I see it lurking within. I feel its presence. I see it in the mirror and feel it in my bones. I love but am not worthy of love. I am much better suited to exist on some far edge of a polite world. Yes. Let me love you there and keep the monster at bay. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

The burden of loving a ghost. The next world cannot arrive soon enough. Let this place have my bones and they can read your name etched upon them. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

The hunger does not subside. It simply morphs into different shades of longing. Your thoughts, your kiss, your touch, your desires. The tides rise and fall as they tend do. So it is within in my depths when it comes to you. Often times I simply smile when thoughts of run through my heart. Others? As if my entire being was drowned in desperation. To fall upon you as rain upon the earth and soak into your skin. I am plagued by this longing that has found its way into my soul. I peer within and you are there. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

I find the door tempting. What lies on the other side? We peer through the keyhole. We strain to see through the cracks as the rays of light peer through the shadows. Our thoughts drift as to where the door leads. Where will the journey take us. Tempting, is it not? But we can we make it back? A question we often times fail to ask. Just a door? Or a barrier with "one way" written in the fine print. Careful my child. Think before you turn the handle and find what lies on the other side. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

She has endured the world. But she would give you hers and all that is in it. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

Does she not unravel every part of me? Her footsteps echo in every chamber of my heart. Her presence in the darkest recesses of my soul. Her touch grazes my skin and I feel as if I have been set ablaze. She peers into my existence and, as if words upon a page, reads everything that I am. I fear this burden to lover her. If I am worthy to adore such a creature as her. But one thing is for certain, I shall do it with every breath from this until my last. I know no other way. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

The ocean beckons. I can smell the air and taste the salt upon my lips. The waves crash in my dreams and I can hear the sails flutter upon the wind. The sun is warm upon my skin and there is nothing but blue on the horizon. To simply go and slip over the edge of the beyond. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

The burden of desire. How it permeates my skin and writes your name upon my lips. It is both pleasure and torment. This longing to undress your heart and kiss your darkness. To hold you in my arms and allow you to feel every thought that has coursed through both mind and body. I fear what may become of me. Of us. Have not men succumb to much less? Am I not already drawn like the bee to the flower? And yet, I care not. I care not that I would fall into your arms and burn as a star falling to earth. So be it. Strike the match and let us see what fate has in store for two such as us. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

She smiled at me. That's it. That is all it took. It's foolish really to think that such a simple thing can change my world in the blink of an eye. Her smile and hers alone holds sway over my universe. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

Difficult to explain these moments in time that I am drawn to quiet observation. To simply exist in the shadows and watch the world pass. Not a single word uttered. And other times, less than that. Not observing at all but rather shutting the world out. Retreating to silence and solitude that gives one's soul reprieve from whatever this is. The longer I exist, I become more convinced that this timeline is a construct with poorly written script and I was inserted into the wrong act. Whatever the case, it weighs heavy and there are times when that burden must be eased and thoughts allowed to breathe. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

And now all the world’s asleep. The moon even looks weary hanging in the night sky. All is quiet and I can speak to you. In whisper. In dream. Your name upon my lips as I lay here thinking of you. How much I miss you. Longing for the day I’ll see you again. I’ll sleep now. I’ll sleep and know I’ll see you soon. ~ B.T.

[secretumpoeta]

Peel back the layers and let the pain run. Scream into the void and let the tears flow. The wounds are raw and must breathe to heal. At least, I want them to. I’m tired of hiding them and pretending everything is fine. I’d rather set fire to them and swallow the pain so I can feel again. Breathe again. And move on. ~ B.T.