your friendly local cryptid

🍷Lillie//25//Aquarius//Bisexual🍷 🐝Voice of Bee from The Office Type🐝

[seductionby-poison]

Ive written a fanfic pls read and leave feedback!

TW: mild violence against women, short fight scene, mild slut-shaming

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[kaijuno]

[dykeferatu]

i am once again saying that vampires have so much slapstick potential. they should be getting hit by cars and shot for laughs more often

[dykeferatu]

we need to drop pianos on vampires

[transgenderer]

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

[transgenderer]

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

[cookiehana]

[pansy-placebo]

Have any of you ever heard of the hummingbird moths we get in Britain?

So, I thought I saw a hummingbird last year. It was much bigger than a bug could be, I thought, and it hovered around flowers and looked like it had feathers.

I got pretty close but it was never still enough to see clearly. Then, when I told my parents they said "oh! it was probably a moth!" and I was baffled for a long time. Like, how could a moth look like and act so much like a hummingbird?

Until I googled "hummingbirds in the UK" and this fucker comes up:

Everyone, meet the hummingbird hawk-moth; one of the weirdest and coolest cases of convergent evolution on this planet.

This is the kinda thing I'd see in fiction and go "oooh cool, bug hummingbird! Wish we had those on earth!" But we do. We really do have them on earth!! Isn't that nuts?!?!?

[square-root-of-moth]

@creatures-in-posts

[creatures-in-posts]

This creature is a b-

bir-

b

bug.

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

my brother kept playing with two ssds so I said "aw you're making them kiss" and he answered "yeah. and there's a 500 gb difference between them. barely legal" I'm going to blow him up

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

told him he was making numbers on tumblr (28 notes) and he said "stop using me for views I don't want furries to start hitting on me in the street" I fear his views of this website might be skewed

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

I'm not saying that there aren't furries on this website btw. I'm saying nobody's getting laid thanks to tumblr notes

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

this is like finding out all your friends were having secret orgy meetings and you were the only one not invited

[2003-playground]

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[twerklina]

I’ve been waiting since March to post this…

[ducissatenebrarum]

Angel of God Chaining The Demon of Lust. Jan Steen

ca.1660 Museum Bredius

[elodieunderglass]

“WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN YOUR MOUTH?”

“Blarlarlarlblar,” said the Demon of Lust, nearly dislocating its own legs as it fought like a baby evading a diaper change.

“Could you stop! Eating! Garbage! For! One! Minute! STOP WIGGLING.”

The Demon of Lust, in a simultaneously guilty but reproachful way, stopped wiggling. Instead, it held still but stretched itself slowly but relentlessly backwards. Its eyes fixed on a new object of desire. The heap of steaming hot garbage throbbed in its vision. Upside-down, just out of reach - or was it? Carefully not wiggling, it stretched its neck backwards, extending its tongue. It could practically taste it.

“Don’t think I don’t see - no! That’s literally burning garbage!”

“Blarlarlar!”

“No! It’s burning your actual face!”

“Blarlarlar.”

“That’s it. Kennel. KENNEL.”

“Blar,” said the saddest demon in the world, staring fixedly at the hot mess.

“Lust CAN help itself around trash fires,” the angel said sternly, handling the demon in a method popularized by people trying to administer pills to struggling cats. “You can’t fix it. You’ll hurt yourself making it worse.”

“Blar.”

“Oh, tell you what. You can have a blorbo as a treat. Nice blorbo. Come on, puppy, into the kennel. Nice blorbo for you.”

[slasherrr0]

[jathis]

King Shit

[webluvbot-deactivated20230307]

the original he wouldnt fucking say that

[bigbootybuffet]

[edgar-allan-possum]

Ring's on the wrong finger. Sic em, Jason.

[slime-lilly-deactivated20220926]

[itsscottiesstark]

Wouldn't it be great if Tumblr had a feature like "3 years ago today" or something? Like, imagine waking up one morning, opening the app and there's a huge banner saying "Let's see what you were up to 5 years ago today!" and you click on it and it's the most unhinged, thirsty, shameful post about the same middle aged actor you are still obsessed with.

[tsunderrated]

[fergzillar]

[radiofreederry]

[frot-cember-deactivated20241214]

[everythingfox]

Sound on

[kianamaiart]

[kianamaiart]

aika after approximately 37 cheeses