A Letter From The Woman With Silver Hair and a Full Heart (aka You in 50 Years)
A more mature, wiser version of you has a message. If your path feels unclear right now, who better to turn to than the woman who's already walked it? Sit down, love. This is hot-and-cold tea—straight from your future. Whatever taste it leaves in your mouth, remember: you can always change the recipe.
There is one thing I have thought about a lot throughout the years. How we found ourselves in perfect rooms, in the perfect outfit, talking to the seemingly perfect guy, and somehow feeling awful. I kept setting myself on fire thinking that is how I would find freedom. Staying in a relationship I had no business being in. Staying in friendships I had no business entertaining. But because society somehow showed me, since forever, that these were the type of people that would make me happy, that this relationship with this type of guy would finally give me rest and peace.
A lot of the things that we think we want come from what we have heard throughout the years. The things I have seen. The conversations of Mom on the phone while she was talking with a friend. That comment that guy made in eighth grade. I feel like you spent a lot of time searching for pieces of yourself in others, and you were always surprised when the puzzle would not reflect something that felt genuine. I really hope that you realized before I did that we were wearing several masks, some that never ever fit us. And this was hard to break away from, since we have been doing this since we were kids. I feel like we have always known what to say. How to act and what was expected of us.
And maybe it was the easiest thing for a while. It would keep the peace. We would not be criticized. So we would not get hurt and people would be happy with you. You molded yourself into a version of a reality that does not reflect the landscape of your emotional garden. One day sooner than I did, I hope that you will release yourself from this. I hope that you will look around and decide to portray some things that feel genuine to us.
We are difficult, complicated, lovely, adorable souls.
And I feel like we have had a lot of people throughout our lives, and childhood convinced us otherwise. I am so sorry for all the things that I said about our body, about our accomplishments, about ourselves while looking in the mirror. I was not thinking clearly. I was not brave enough to face myself because I was convinced that I was going to see something that was going to repulse me. And when I finally did, all I saw was someone that was deeply hurt. I hope you hold yourself in all the ways you wish that someone did throughout the years. I hope you give yourself the grace you extended so easily to people that never actually deserved it. I really hope that you get to treat your own soul like you have been treating others.
You have been emptying yourself trying to fill other people as well. And the one thing that I wish to tell you right now, hoping something will change quicker for you, is: you deserve to live your own life and your own dreams and your own hopes, and to think your own thoughts and to follow your own gut, and not have to ask someone else what they think of this situation, because you know, and you trust yourself first. You have sourced out a lot of your happiness and only brought in misery. The one thing that you have to understand is that when people that you brought in gain from you, that means that you hold the gold. That you are the diamond.
And even if it did not feel like it while we were growing up, I want you to remember that diamonds are made under pressure, and you have never been more sparkly. You get to be happy. We get to be happy. We get to live a life that reflects our heart and our soul. We get to have this huge garden we have always wanted. We get to see butterflies every day. We get to hear the laugh of our loved ones in our home. We get to find love and to feel things in a genuine way with someone that does feel as deeply as us. The one thing that starts this is when we actually choose ourselves.
So I hope you get to do this before I did. I hope you give yourself the love you have been giving to everyone else but yourself before I did.
You are such a special person. We are such a special person, and I think it is a pity that it took us so long to actually realize. Soon enough, you will end up in rooms that will reflect your own self, and you will finally be appreciated and seen in the ways you were always supposed to be. I am so sorry that our parents did not give us love, but that does not mean that we did not deserve it in the first place, and we are not deserving of it now. So please, if there is one thing I can tell you, 50 years from now, is to start to be happy now. Start to choose yourself now, so you get to experience this sooner than later.
Addicted yet? Good. My master list is calling your name. Go on, you know you want to.
We are an unbound spirit. We are meant to soar and explore. We are meant to find ourselves in other seas and other lands, other cultures, conversations that we might not understand at first, looks, laughs, and on a table surrounded by food and people that we love.
I really hope that you understand this sooner than later. I hope you go and get your passport like you have been meaning to do, but you have not done because it is step one of stepping into this energy. We truly, truly love traveling, and I feel like you are missing out. I have been working on this goal of mine to travel every country, and we are getting pretty close to it.
I cannot wait for you to understand the effect you have on people. I feel like until you take it international, you are going to be quite blind to the magnetism that we possess. I hope you know that we could move any soul in this life only with a look, and there is something that we are going to become quite crafted at. I would love to talk about family and children, but to be honest, I feel like that is something that we have never truly been interested in, in the ways that others are. We want to explore. We want to live big things.
And there is nothing wrong about this. You do not have to settle. You do not have to settle for a life that does not reflect your dreams. That does not reflect our wishes. We do not have to. Society and people have been trying to convince you to settle and to convince you to do this and do that. Things that are far from what you want. We want to explore. We want to live abroad. We want to try new food. You want to speak another language. You want to learn Italian, bella. You will have such an extraordinary life, a life that I am quite proud of right now, where I am, of all the things that I have done, the people that I have talked to, the food I have tasted. You have no idea how much this world is waiting for you to uncover, to explore.
There are so many adventures with your name written on them. There are so many people that cannot wait to speak to you, to say your name, to learn your name. You are a natural celebrity. Everywhere that we go, we seem to be — it is really fun.
I think it is going to be fun to realize how lovely you are and how much kindness is spoken in every language everywhere. You will find a lot of souls that are like yours. I cannot wait. You have so many people to meet. You have so many places to be at. I feel like you should be more excited about the future because there are a lot of blessings. There are a lot of places, once again, you are going to love.
Freedom is not supposed to be earned. It is only supposed to be experienced. Now, I would say that our life is much less fast-paced. Things happen a little bit slower, but it is better, you know what I mean? These Megan knees are tired!
I think we were young and turnt, and I love that. If you have not been going out, babe, what are you waiting for? You get to be fun. You get to have fun. That is not something that you should wait for — this moment or this certain amount of money in your account or until this goal is reached to actually move towards. You get to be fun, have fun, explore, and be a little bit reckless now. I feel like you have been so good for too long, and we both know — I mean, you know, because I am you — that we have this wild spirit just waiting to be out inside of us. Also, take that dance class we have been wanting to. There is something so sensual about dancing with someone else, having your body pressed against theirs, how our energies flow together. This is one thing that makes you quite excited, and it is still working today. If you wonder about love and if we get to be in love, we get to have a lot of fun. I feel like we get to flirt. We get to have some lovers. We get to be romantic. We get to be taken on a lot of different dates. We get to experience different types of romance around the world, and I think that is better than to have only one forever love in this lifetime.
You get to be your greatest love. The more you are going to go out there and make your dreams happen, the more we get to love ourselves. I feel like you are going to be surprised how unshakable we actually are. Like physically, by the way, we look really good!
Sauna is everything. Please go to the sauna. Please go to the gym, but you do not have to go all the time. You can only do it two times a week and you will have a healthy amount of muscle mass. Just make sure that you do yoga because that is how our body relaxes, and being flexible will never not help, if you know what I mean.
But yes, we are the type of person that you meet on vacation and that you are wildly obsessed about for the rest of your life, and you write letters to, and they do write back maybe once a year. It is kind of crazy the amount of love letters we do have.
We get to be muses, to inspire some songs, some pictures, some paintings. We have had a really wild, fun life. We really truly lived. When I think about my life in the past and my journey, I actually do smile. I think about you. I think about how naive you are in the best ways. I think about other things that you are going to get to experience for the first time that are going to fill your heart with joy. I think about those very nights that are incoming that show you how much of a fun, irresistible person you are. I think about how we live our life to the fullest. We experience everything that we wanted to. And when I do think about where I am going and that I am aging and people around me, some that we do love a lot are gone now, I am not necessarily scared about myself being gone as well. I feel quite at peace with my soul because I have done pretty much everything that I wanted. We have done it all. If you ever wondered if we are ever going to do this or that, just so you know, we did. There are some things that I do want to tell you, but I feel like you would plan too much around this and that is not the point for now. But be excited. Be curious. And be open, please, dear.
Addicted yet? Good. My master list is calling your name. Go on, you know you want to.
I feel the most excited having the opportunity to share this good news with you. I get really teary-eyed when I think about our upbringing and our past, how I felt so hopeless at times, wanting to take my own life, wanting to stop feeling the pain in any type of way. I think about this version of me that was suffering so loudly while keeping it all quiet inside, and it is hard not to give her grace because that is all she needed. I feel like we have not been hugged a lot in our life, and for so long, we convinced ourselves that it was making us uncomfortable. When the truth is that we were scared of how much we would unravel if someone held us close to them in a way that wasn't threatening.
A lot of people hurt us in this lifetime. A lot of people put us down. A lot of people tried to convince us that we were not worth it, that we were not worth anything, that we would end up like our mom and dad, that we did not have anything to look forward to.
I really hope that you read this knowing that it is not the truth. I am here to tell you that it is not the truth. We are owed a lot. I mean karmically, but also just in general.
Some things happened that maybe were not supposed to happen to us that we had to make peace with. To be honest, even when I think about those things today, they are still a hard pill to swallow.
I want you to believe in love. I want you to believe in connection. I want you to realize that you get to be someone that experiences true love, that it is not something that is inaccessible to you because somehow you were broken and no one would ever want someone with so many issues and blah, blah, blah. This is so boring, and you deserve more than this boring excuse. We deserve more than this. We deserve love.
Life works in intricate ways, and sometimes the people that are meant for us are around us but it takes us a little while to meet them. Because we weren't aligned, but you're about to be.
You will meet someone in this life, someone that will make your soul feel at home. Someone that will make everything that ever happened to you make sense, or almost worth it, even if it is hard to imagine right now. The life that we have right now is full of bliss, peace, and luxury. We get to actually be happy and experience comfort. We get to be comfortable and wake up in the morning feeling refreshed, having slept normally without overthinking our life choices or crying ourselves to sleep.
I feel like for a little while, since our life was so chaotic, we convinced ourselves that we could never be comfortable living a slow life, slow mornings in a comfortable and safe environment. We convinced ourselves that we needed the distractions and chaos to feel entertained. That is how we thrive, we focus in the hardest moment. The thing is, yes, we are able to make magic out of hardship, but we were also surviving, and that is not a healthy state of being to maintain.
The second that we stop this surviving shit, and we step into blossoming, thriving, feeling and being in the present moment, you will see how much of a real and master manifester we are with a regulated nervous system. Our wish is literally the universe's command. The amount of things that I was able to manifest in this life is just literally uncanny. The way we went from rags to riches is crazy. A lot of people ask me how I made it, like how it happened, and ask me for tips.
It does feel like yes, I am smart and I did develop a strategy that allowed me to build something from the ground up, but luck and a lot of good karma coming back was part of my success as well.
Life will take an unfamiliar shape in the coming years, but not a shape that scares you. The shape that excites you, a shape that makes you feel like you finally found a home.
You will find kind-hearted people. You will find people that are honest in love, people that protect, people that defend, people that heal, people that soothe, and people that are energetic matches to you.
You are going to meet healthy people, it will inspire you to become more healthy as well. We find healing, and we find peace in a way that right now, you have a hard time imagining, but it is something that we do get to have.
This life is not about suffering, even if the beginning made you think otherwise.
We cannot control people, you know. I wish we could. I mean, we did wish we could at some point, we tried so hard with those spells, girl, but you cannot control people. You can only control yourself and your environment to some extent. A lot of what you are capable of is still dormant. You are not aware of a lot of your strength and your power. You will soon, and it is going to change your life.
I want you to know that we love our life. We love our daily life, like we genuinely love our life. We love ourselves. We love to wake up every morning and see what we have built. We love to know that whatever happened in the past happened, and now we get to move on and be happy.
Addicted yet? Good. My master list is calling your name. Go on, you know you want to.
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