king for a day

[thegardenof-evil]

[selfmedik8ed-blog]

whoever i marry, has to agree.  he would have.  

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+

When.i woke up today I realized that I had been screaming and crying while.i was asleep. and I still remember why.

[fuckyeahmoleskines]

[ginger--lope-deactivated2014032]

uhm is lemony snicket a secret slam poet? because i could see this being performed

[selfmedik8ed-blog]

I love these words as though they found my secret compartment....and im not talking about my prostate.

[teenboystuff]

[pleasuretownusa-deactivated2012]

this is me, but with more wailing.

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GooGoo

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ARIZONAsunset --by me

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i fucking love postsecret.com reason #2

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i fucking love postsecret.com

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-

i read volumes into the simple words she speaks. 

tonight, my mom saw the moon for the first time in a long time and she gasped with excitement as she sputtered out the two words, "moooooon. biiiiiiiiig!" the tone in her voice eclipsed the light in her eyes, but i heard her expression in her voice. i love to hear her voice. we are lucky......i am lucky to hear her voice. yesterday she told me i was her hero. that was the first time i was proud of myself in a long time.  

[selfmedik8ed-blog]

I am literally horny with fear.

--sue sylvester "glee"

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--this song is the EXACT story of my first love. and was written/released just around the time this fucked up little fiasco went down. according to my fucked up memory, at one of the yellowcard live shows the band threw in the third verse some time after the original was released. ironically, it completely coincides with the way our story played out.....i recently realized that the person she ended up with and her call each other 'ole & one'. one of them is one of my best friends still. and the other one and i don't talk because i did something to her that is unforgivable. at least i finally see it in black & white. maybe now i'll get it through my head. (i laughed here, then regretted it. then made a dumb face) --  the above little rant with this video is just more validation for the THEME OF TODAY: I AM A FUCKING FOOL.  

[selfmedik8ed-blog]

all the things i can't reveal, will bleed through the other side, backward. ink filling the grooves, created with respect to the intensity with which they were felt. #charcoal/pencil rub

--dumbol'me

[posttalent-deactivated20120521]

[selfmedik8ed-blog]

HOW COME THIS STRANGER THAT I HARDLY KNOW THAT POSTS THIS SHIT ON TUMBLR IS THAT LAST FUCKING PERSON TO INTRIGUE ME?  #overandoverandoverandover(platonic!)  

[mstoad]

One of the major issues for women, I find in the work that I do, is we will gouge our eyes out with plastic spoons rather than say, “Oops! I picked the wrong one! Oh, my Lord, what was I thinkin’?” And then we try to make him into who we think he’s supposed to be. He’s the wrong one! Get rid of him and change the lock quick!

((((((((i luv this one, but let's pretend it says "us" instead of "women")))))))))

[queersecrets]

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#usedtofeelthatway

[mscopes-deactivated20170926]

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if i had taken this one, i'd call it: phoenixsky

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idk. eff-love!

[selfmedik8ed-blog]

My mom and Chaz Bono

i love my mother. i do. she's one of the most important people in my life, if not THE most. but, i have to get this off my chest. all the talk about acceptance for the gay/lesbian/bi/transgender community regarding Chaz Bono is getting me down. don't get me wrong. i am actually very thankful that he is proud of who he is and not running away from the limelight because the status quo doesn't approve. in fact, with all the attention on 'trannies' now, 'fags' are becoming exponentially more acceptable. yay for us--bad news for Chaz, but he's a pioneer and his comfort with himself will get him though it all, and so will the love from his mother.  i watched Chaz's interview with Ellen yesterday and Cher called in and took a stance for her son. and although i am an openly not-straight male, i do not understand transgenders. i try to be open-minded, but i end up feeling like  a hypocrite because i want everyone to 'get me,' yet i make casual jokes about a member of my own community, my own 'family.' anyhow, her standing up for him was one of the most beautiful gestures of love i have witnessed lately. star stature, fame, love for money--NONE OF IT mattered more than Cher's love for her son. and i admire that. ...although it makes me wonder. . ."would my own mother do that for me?" you be the judge. on the day of Phoenix pride this year, i overheard my mom talking to my niece about 'gay people' because the parade was being covered on the news and these were her words exactly... "i don't approve of it. i don't like it. but, there's really nothing i can do." i laughed. i smiled. and then i threw a bitch fit to a couple friends behind closed doors. then, i moved on. i am also her primary caregiver, as she is terminally ill. i have devoted my life to her and expect nothing in return (and you know what?? "i don't like it. but there's really nothing i can do.")  BUT.... i wouldn't have it any other way because i have unconditional love for my mother, and it's strange because, despite her reluctance toward accepting the 'my community,' i do know for a fact that she has unconditional love for ME.