𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆, 22 , cis woman : she is a licensed practical nurse working 12 long hour shifts on the weekends while doubling as a student through the week that has lived in denton for five years. her future plans involve working on a pediatric floor. her neighbors and friends would say she’s optimistic, amiable. yet can be careless and self-critical. they call her the paracosmist, someone who is very kind, positive; a dream-like gleam in her eyes. find her at the local coffee shop, a booth to herself and surrounded by notebooks; textbooks; clutching her third cup. or in a local bargain shop, like goodwill, with an eye on cute scrubs that will only add to her obsessive collection back home. if you do come across her, don’t be surprised if words flow abundantly from cherry lips at your company or there’s an immediate shut down if things just feel too heavy that day . and never be afraid to lean on her when time’s are rough; this moonchild has experienced more pain than a glimpse at feigned smiles could ever reveal . . .
loved by lex, she / her, 24, est.
key points below. please be aware that they do contain mentions of death, self - harm, miscarriage, and blood phobia!
selene, meaning moon and uriah, for light. they were born on september 6th, 1998. that year, on that date, marked a full moon the night lily and andrew kang welcomed their twins into the world.
her father was a physician’s assistant and mother an emt. they had a pretty middle class upbringing, but it was the memory of their constant bickering that made it feel anything but cozy. but there was always uriah, who called her bunny because of the way her two front teeth were slightly bigger than the rest. a feat she fixed in high school. still, she’d always be bunny to him.
finally, when they were about thirteen, their parents divorced and they never heard from their mother again the day she hurried out the door with all things packed. selene never had much interest in finding her; she was a daddy’s girl, honestly. but uriah had a tough time with that loss.
in high school, selene had her group of friends and uriah had his. hers would get honor roll and his would stay out until 4 am hit. she remembers missing her best friend at the time, but when you’re young, you’d do anything to distract yourself from that kind of pain. she threw herself into studies and volleyball practices. movie nights with the girls. their bond faded like the dusk to dawn.
their dad decided to teach premed instead of practicing, so they packed up and moved to denton their senior year. it was a huge adjustment, one they resented him for. once again brother and sister’s interests aligned and that pristine pearl of the family began to vanish as she tagged along with uriah’s reckless new friends. no one likes an uptight primadonna anyways.
that’s when she met her ex. it was naive, like everyone always says about these school romances, but you don’t know it until you’ve passed it. unfortunately for selene, she didn’t make it out squeaky clean. at the brink of graduation, she found out she was pregnant. and the father disappeared.
as if that wasn’t already stressful, along with trying to figure out a way to break the news to her family, she was just in her first few weeks of nursing school.
then, it all broke loose. her twin, at one point the only person who really knew her, killed in a car crash. shots deep behind the wheel and not one, but two lives lost. the cause of another family’s heartache. it was too much anger on both ends; too much grief. selene couldn’t eat, sleep.
she wanted it to stop and took matters into her own hands. but, woke up in a hospital instead. childless. her mental health had taken a toll on her body; it was unsuited to carry any longer. carry, like her daughter was a heavy weight and she a camel on its last leg.
fast forwarding four years, selene had gone back to school two years after that darkness and gotten her license. she moved out into her own apartment at the links ( may include a roommate ). no longer on speaking terms with her father after his postmortem disownment of her departed brother. through the week she attends denton university for her bachelor’s, hoping to work on a pediatric floor someday. from fridays to sundays, she works 12, sometimes 16 hour shifts to pay for that. anyone who knows or meets her would say she’s a ball of energy; bright, luminous even in passing. usually kind and cheerful. and it took a long, long time to get back to that girl she was before moving here.
bash didn’t think he could get through it, not with the constant threat of himself closing his eyes and never waking up. it was the pain that kept him up, exhausted as his mind and body were from it all, and he could feel the thing inch by inch, brushing through his muscles, his skin, as selene slowly but surely pulled it from the way it situated itself on his back. he might have doubted himself, and his capabilities to hold on to his promise to her, but not once did he ever doubt her, knowing that he probably has way more chance to survive in her hands than any other people. bash trusts the woman with his life, and now his life is, more or less, in her hands at that moment. the stuffed animal shrinks from his grip as he tried his best to keep his noises toned down, biting on the inside of his lip while he held his breath for the worst part of it — but it never came. the next thing he feels was the prick of the needle, he guessed, as it threaded through the site of the wound, making him wince. it wasn’t the worst he felt, considering how used to it he was, not just when suturing wounds, but with his tattoos. a moment passes then, and he hears selene’s words, spoken with a hint of buoyancy to it than the last, and he takes it as good news. now, he can finally breathe, and he does so just when she leans in to plant a kiss on his head, making him smile. “ wouldn’t have come here…if i didn’t already know that, ” a hint of humor now present in his tone, as she successfully pulls him away from the doors of death. he lets go of the thing in his hand, letting it rest from the way he was gripping it early on, just as he heard her request. bash moves his head slightly to a half-nod, and slowly, he pushes himself up from the mattress, still heaving as he props himself up; arms trembling from his own weight. there remains the pain every time he moved, but it felt lesser with the thing out…the thing, he realized, slowly turning his head when he was sat up the bed, looking for it. when he found it, bash could only chuckle, barely audible yet visible from the way his lips curled a little as his still-injured shoulders moved. “ that’s..what almost killed me? ” disbelief evident in his tone as he spoke, looking up at selene, before he gives her another one of those weak smiles. “ thank you…and i’m..really sorry for this mess. ”
she began setting out the bandages she needed , aware of his voice coming in low , almost sanguine . “ right ? ” selene also gave the serrated culprit a cavalier glance , remarking how severely contrasting the stain of red , stolen from his very physique , appeared against the white and rose patterned duvet on her bed . of course breathing comes easier now that they’re out of deep waters . but still there’s residue left in her lungs that invokes a thinly veiled dread that won’t let up . making a mental note to throw out the blanket , she diverted her attention back to the supplies . “ but , to be fair , we’re talkin’ sixteen stitches so don’t feel too bad . one time i went ice skating and fell down so hard , i thought i was dying from an internal butt injury . i was ten . ” the petite brunette flashed him a tender smile of her own , softening further when he apologizes again . it’s true that this wasn’t how she pictured her night going , but was there any harbored resentment unbeknownst to herself ? the answer comes almost immediate and free of indecision . her hand rests over his as she shakes her head , dark hair pulled into a messy knot at the top of head wavering . “ don’t do that , bash . because i’m not sorry that this mess saved your life . never . ” selene pulled back , getting to her feet to start patching him up . something about the silence and invading his personal space for the second time tonight flustered the sweetheart . without a shirt , selene realized just how far his permanent art extended . so , she decided to fill the quiet void with less weird thoughts .
“ ---- listen , i have a feeling you’re not going to tell me what happened . it’s . . . it’s the same feeling i had when my brother would keep a secret from me . to protect me . and i thought i didn’t need it . but , can’t say i wouldn’t have done the same for him . or for you or anyone i cared about . ” she paused , brushing back a few stray waves behind her ear and finishing up the bandage bind . “ okay , i have a point , i promise . what i mean is . . . even if you won’t , i hope you know anyway that i’m here for you no matter what . with or without the dirty details . ”
to say the brunet was bored out of his mind. well it’d be an understatement. he had already completed this part of their homework. he’d only picked selene so he wouldn’t be stuck with someone he didn’t like. or worse the one girl who kept trying to flirt with him. which wasn’t really flirting it was more like sexual harassment. which he noted to make sure he got a restraining order soon. other then that their study group was nothing but fun. ji was having a bit to much fun messing with selene’s fly away hairs. wrapping them around his fingers, and playfully tugging them. every time he did it caused her to give him a glare or sarcastic remark. chuckling his boyish grin couldn’t be helped as she threated to hurt him. “hurt me? please, i’d love to see you try,” throwing her a wink before looking down at what she was explaining. only to hear her stomach growl. chuckling once more he went back to playing with her hair. she’d cave eventually, and by eventually he hoped soon. sitting here was making him anxious. ji could never really sit in one spot long. his smirk returned at the mention of him being cat. “you’re so cute when you talk trash,” bopping her on the nose before closing the book in front of her. “come on kitten, lets go get food before you murder someone. that someone being me,” his teasing couldn’t be helped while he grabbed his bag. “what are you craving today?”
she didn’t look up from pretending to read the text , but flashed a middle finger as he doubted her ass kicking abilities . he probably had that stupid , some would say cute or whatever , smirk on his face , but selene vowed she’d remain focused . even as her stomach betrayed her during the silence . she tilted her head , hoping her locks could hide the hint of a smile . that’s all she needed right now ; more ammunition for the other to keep pestering her if he caught on she might be enjoying this game they were playing . don’t give in , selene kang , you can do this . don’t . give . in ---- another loud sigh as she faces ji again , twirling her pencil between fingers and poking her tongue into her cheek in irritation . and as if testing her limits further , he freakin boops her . selene blinked , that heat rising up and coloring her features red . she casted the pencil onto her now closed book , pushing down the urge to give him an impromptu nose piercing . she shot him a bewildered glance while trying to keep her composure . “ you want to get food ? now ? if we don’t get this done , they’ll kill us before i could even get the chance . ” but all her concerns were ignored as he continued to get ready to head out . she massages her pounding temples , finally standing in defeat . “ something quick . i just want to get back here as soon as possible . and , ” the brunette grips the collar of his coat , pulling him down to meet his eyes clearly , “ if you do that again , i’ll drown you in the atlantic ocean , kitten . ” her brows arch , cherry lips curving slightly as she held his stare before realizing they’d stayed like that for far longer than she intended . clearing her throat and stepping back , selene grabbed her own coat and purse , making a bee line for the door .
mo knew selene was doing everything in her power to act as if their past didn’t exist. as if they hadn’t spent numerous hours together. or spent countless nights partying or crying over stupid things. the twins were some of her best friends back in the day. now all she had as few left, and even she couldn’t call some friends. a smirk rising on her plush pink lips at the others words. there was a time when selene would just simply pop her shoulder, and they’d go on about their day. instead she had to be here. not that she didn’t trust jae or tai to do it. jae would probably give her a dismissive look. for tai she’d probably be were she was now. starring a part of her past straight in the face. snorting she roll her brown hues. “of course, can’t let you loose your job over me,” like she’d lost everything else over molan. thinking about it just made her change her mood. letting her smirk sink to a frown. maybe she should have just had one of her father’s goons help her instead. they had a doctor on sight, but stepping foot into her father’s home was not ideal. every time she did he always had something for her to do. something she wanted nothing to do with. obeying the other the petite girl carefully rolled her sleeve up. exposing her bruised shoulder. “soo, you going to ask me how it happened so i can lie or?”
“ jesus , mo ---- miss sun , ” selene breathed , eyeing the blue and purple map splayed on her ex - friend’s skin . it was an ugly injury , one she could only assume didn’t happen infrequently given the other’s nonchalant attitude . what the hell was she getting herself into , exactly ? the brunette wanted to ask that very question , internally reeling back from the fact she still cared enough to have that desire . it’s only because riah loved her so much , her mind rationalized , he’d want me to be concerned . another part agreed with mo that she needed the story on record . it’d be a lie , but if she promised it was off record ? “ a . . . an accident . you and a couple friends were drunk . you were playing uno and messing around . it . . . it happens a lot , actually , ” she murmured , giving her an excuse passively . she glanced at mo’s face briefly , something other than an ice cold glaze flickering across those earthen hues . “ and that’s all i’ll tell the doctor . but it’s not even close to what we both know really happened . ” selene motioned for the other to drop her sleeve , crossing her arms and fighting back all her defenses . this wasn’t easy at all . it wasn’t even her place . but selene knew deep down she’d regret keeping silent and treating the other as a stranger given the circumstances. sighing , tapping her foot thoughtfully , “ you’re . . . not getting into too much trouble , right ? ”
“ such a shame you’re not a platinum blonde , ” tai mused , suppressing the laughter threatening to spill past his lips . " you could really pull off the whole ’ miss piggy ’ vibe . " he playfully nudged her side with his elbow , beaming with fondness at one of his closest friends . of course , the transition from a relationship back to a friendship wasn’t always this seamless ; he still had his moments where he wanted to break his composure and ask where he had gone wrong - why he hadn’t been good enough for her - but he mostly isolated himself from selene on those days . he figured sometimes , the truth hurt more than the unknown , and wasn’t quite prepared to give up years worth of friendship over a failed relationship . even with his eyes cast downward after he had given selene his lines of sweet little nothings , he couldn’t resist peaking at her reaction . as her face took on a rosy hue , a smile grew across his own . it wasn’t his place to shower her with compliments anymore , but with doubting her own beauty , selene all but set the scene for the teasing , albeit sincere , comments . as his attention was focused back on their ’ baking ’ skills ( or lack thereof ) , it was his turn to mirror selene’s previous pout . " you goofed up the best part ? sel ! " yet , he still exchanged his camera for two clean spoons , holding one out in offering to selene as he skeptically eyed the green icing-batter combo . " we’re not going to end up with food poisoning from this , right ? "
“ should i do it ? ” her eyes widen , a slow , mischievous smile crossing her features again as he mentioned the color . truthfully , a change in appearance , more than finally being the proud owner of contacts and a wardrobe consisting of fabrics other than oversized vintage tees and leggings , had been circling her mind . tai was joking , but she was intrigued nonetheless. when his voice breaks through , calling her name in mock bewilderment , her grip on the bowl nearly slips . “ tai , ” the giggling sweetheart shot back , “ is that really a surprise ? remember that one time i tried to make us dinner and left the crockpot unplugged all day because i was running late for class ? then we ended up ordering takeout from tu casa for the first time ever . which we both can agree was our destiny because it was so good . ” selene repaid him for earlier with a nudge of her own , reaching out to grab the spoon and ignoring how their fingers brushed in doing so . she still had trouble controlling her features when the little things like that happened . thankfully , tai intercepted her momentarily lapse of reminiscing with another dig . rolling her eyes , she’ll take a generous scoop , holding it up for him to bare witness . “ if i don’t keel over in the next twenty minutes , you owe an apology and yes , i’ll accept that in hot cocoa brought to work . unless you’re busy , again . ” brows arch with a smirk before taking the bite .
hi angels ! i know i’ve been mia these last few days with christmas shopping and everything. but i took a nap earlier and now i’m finally free to do replies ................. and i might still have memes but don’t quote me lsgnlsngs. so i’ll be here for a while tonight ! i also have people i’m finally msging back so thanks for being so patience !
moving has never felt excruciating until now, his legs barely making it to the bed where he lies face down, and still with great difficulty. the moment his chest lands against the mattress, he lets out a grunt, his chest hurting even from the slightest of impacts. it ached all over, and yet, as he continued his fight to stay awake, to keep his promise to selene, nothing ached more than seeing her try to get herself together for him. he really didn’t think this through; the consequences of coming here, looking half-dead, and without even telling her beforehand. but bash could only do so much with so little energy left within him that it was a miracle he was able to drive himself all the way back here to denton after all the shit he just went through. but selene doesn’t know that, no. even if he was in a better state than he is right now, he would never tell her anything about that, which makes this situation more complex and precarious than it is. he’s already risked it showing himself to her like this, with wounds that would be far too difficult to explain as to how he even got them, but he also knew that his options were limited; smaller than the usual, and he could only hope that selene wouldn’t ask him questions he wouldn’t want to answer, even if he knew best than to hope for something like that.
when she returns to his side, uttering words he could barely register, bash only had enough strength to nod at her words. what even was it that is causing this pain? he remembers enough, about someone blowing one part of the building up, and fighting with that fucker, but the next thing he knew, he was bleeding through his shirt, accompanied by pain radiating from his back. he should’ve been more careful, he thought, but all too late for that now. his position on the bed only made it harder for him to fight the exhaustion, and if it wasn’t for selene, he probably would’ve given in. but he hears her words again, the evident fear and concern in them, compelling him to keep his eyes open as he searched for her face, giving her the smallest of smiles while he nodded at her question. bash braces himself for the pain then, pulling a thing out of his skin always hurt but nothing he can’t handle. this wasn’t the first time he’s been injured, and certainly will not be the last. however, in between his dwindling consciousness, he feels something being put into his hand, and upon registering selene’s words, he could only chuckle…a single, slight jolt of his body, followed by a groan almost immediately. yeah, that was not a good idea. “ i’ll be..fine, ” he mumbles, words muffled by the the way his cheek was flattened against the mattress, and yet, he continues to hold the..thing, togepi, whatever it was she told him to take the pain out on, gently squeezing it with the might he has left — and then, the pain begins, easy at first, until he finally feels the pressure from her hand, and bash could only let out a groan, hand closing in on the poor stuffed toy in his hand as he fought the urge to SCREAM.
every single muscle in her body just wants to block out his sounds; hands twitching slightly before she remembers they’re busy and can’t come up to cover ears. she sucks her bottom lip in, biting down with considerate pressure and willing herself to just do this. ignore the blood seeping into her own untainted skin; ignore how this scene was terrifying because of the memories it brought back. on the bathroom floor . . . her father’s deep voice breaking . . . selene inhales sharply, pushing that down, down, down where it won’t resurface. not now; not when she was in the midst of something so important. a few more inches and it’s out, and she’s moving, moving because it’s not going to stop bleeding unless she does as bash instructed and acts fast. “ this is gonna sting. ” that’s his only courtesy before pouring a generous amount of peroxide over the gash, using as many gauze as her free hand can reach to dab around and over it. fingers moved beautifully; she really should’ve been a surgeon instead, but again that was more than she was capable of. or more than she thinks she’s capable of. -------- there isn’t a warning this time, just her hand reaching over to squeeze the shoulder perfect in comparison to its counterpart comfortingly before gently driving in the needle and thread. this came more natural, usually working with smaller, playground ouchies. under, over, under, over. sixteen. a short, high pitched exhale interrupts the silence, staring in awe from the handiwork to her own hand, shakily still holding the red and silver instrument. “ ... bash ? i ---- i did . . . i did it. ” a powerful wave of relief washed over her entire body as those words echoed inside her mental, leaning down to press a incoherent kiss to the crown of his head and laughing. “ you’re gonna be okay. i told you so. ” teasing a side effect of her euphoric state as she finally tossed the needle into a trash can. “ can you stand at all ? if you can’t i’ll just tape it but . . . tomorrow . . . i need to bandage it better. ”
“ i got ineffective tissue perfusion related to ---- ji-hun kwog, i am seriously going to hurt you, ” selene hissed, feeling her hair being toyed with for what felt like the tenth time since sitting down in their break out groups to work on certain chapters of the five they were assigned to study during the break. really, it could’ve been anyone here; he could’ve chosen anyone ! selene pleaded to the cosmo gods above that he would just sit there and do his part in blissful silence. thought her fervent prayer had actually been heard when not a peep was heard after she explained in painstaking detail the vitality of focusing on this and even throwing in the benefits of completing their work, such as going home. where there was food. god, i’m hungry . . . she sighed, swatting his hand away again before reaching into her coat pocket splayed across the back of her chair, popping a piece of gum. part of her didn’t care about looking good, even if the figure before her was someone she’d shared a bed with countless times over the course of a few months. she could take him at her grungiest or go. but, wouldn’t that only invoke more teasing ? that was her rationale for the long sleeved, button down white midriff and an emerald green, velvet pleated skirt, hair waved and pulled half away from her face. “ why ? is it pretty ? are you a cat ? ” chin supported by her fist, tilting her head and flashing a gorgeous smile bordering on homicidal. she seriously needs some carbs. like yesterday.
“ tai, hurry and come look ! ” selene popped her small frame from around the kitchen corner where the other sat steadily working over his assignment. it was just another thursday and she’d went to get them hot cocoa since it was, for some reason, getting pretty chilly tonight. she even broke out her favorite cardigan. but a daydreaming gaze outside the window as the water heated up gave her the answer to why. she watched the snowflakes flutter, a saddened smile that it would stop soon enough. denton rarely had a white christmas, after all. suddenly, it was drizzling, then pouring. a blizzard, almost. and she wanted to share that with tai as soon as possible. “ can we go outside later ? i wanna do . . . something. what if it all melts tomorrow ? ” sounded like a kid, honestly, with her brown hues blazing in excitement, corners lifting in a 400 watt smile. of course there wasn’t enough snow for all she had planned: snow angels, snow ball fights and her favorite, the classic, a snowman.
an hour later, after promising him that she’d focus on her obstetrics assignment, the pair were trudging out onto the link’s rooftop, bundled up against the harsh cold. a teeny squeak erupted before she began collecting piles and piles of snow, the other helping her roll it into a sphere bigger than the chairs now barely recognizable under all the snow. they teased back and forth about the importance of its size, then agreed whole heartedly that it was their baby and they would love it no matter how big or small. a couple of times, she watched as he tried perfecting the head, a fond smile when observing the snowflakes decorating his dark hair and nose and tip of ears turning as red as the scarf around his neck. it was familiar; baring how handsome he looked even under these harsh conditions. remembers last year when there wasn’t snow, but still it was freezing and she gave him that scarf . . . how his eyes lit up happily; how it made her heart run off its biological track. as if he could feel her staring, their eyes crossed briefly. does he remember that, too ? selene melted into another warm grin, waving some broken chair legs they could use for the arms and indicating to him that she’d keep looking for more scraps. nah, he doesn’t. somehow, that should’ve brought her relief, but as she turned away, her cheerful expression slowly slipped, an ache so very far from how she’d felt this time last year burrowing deep into her chest.
