yo whaddup @sewerbuddy - Tumblr Blog

its gay asf for a man to be a paladin....who are you laying hands on? other men?

men these days aren't even building marvelous contraptions anymore

it's a well-known secret among time travelers that you can just do whatever you want to genghis khan and it won't affect history at all. just last week i visited late 12th century mongolia to do a Hot Ones-style interview with him and someone had already given him a PBR baseball cap and a steam deck- the butterfly effect has that name for a reason but temüjin's destiny is just so firmly rooted that no amount of interference could possibly change it. dude absolutely kills it at Crypt of the Necrodancer

milanesa42

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

bigenderweed

everyone make sure to set out cheese & crackers for neil tonight <3

lemonpoppyseedmuffin

My coffee maker is such a faggot. Every time I use it it whines and moans and groans and pisses all over the place

slimegirls-slime

i think they're called baristas

patronsaintofmistakenidentity

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

patronsaintofmistakenidentity

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist

eridan-ampora

girl what the hell is that

tastylemonbread

my #radiantworm

evangelionreference

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.