There was a period of my life where I was quietly falling apart, and people around me seemed more interested in commenting on me than understanding me.
Some people only understand pain once life finally humbles them enough to experience it themselves.
For a long time, I was exhausted, heartbroken, sick all the time, losing weight, struggling to exist normally, and trying my best to survive days that already felt too heavy. But instead of kindness, I got questions, comments, assumptions, and observations disguised as “concern,” “jokes,” or “advice.”
“If I were you, I’d get over it already.”
“Why do you wear sneakers?”
“Why didn’t you dress like this?”
“Why are you so skinny?”
“Why are you so fat?”
“Why do you look so sad?”
“Why are you happy?”
“It must be so easy for you because you don’t have to worry about anything.”
“Oh, she only gets on well with boys.”
“We don’t invite her because she doesn’t join us.”
“Why don’t you find a husband?”
“When are you getting married?”
“So many books, but maybe you don’t read them.”
“You go there to find a boyfriend?”
“If I were you, I wouldn’t be like that.”
“You arrived late. Must be because you were busy partying the night before.”
“You got sick again.”
“Why are you so friendly to them?”
“You act like a child.”
“I am watching you.”
“You are rude replying back to older people.”
What’s strange is how people can comment on every version of you at once.
Too quiet.
Too friendly.
Too sad.
Too happy.
Too thin.
Too much.
Not enough.
Sometimes people do not realize that constant small comments can slowly become heavy stones someone carries every single day.
And sometimes the people saying these things have no idea what kind of battle a person is fighting privately before they even walked into the room.
The older I get, the more I understand that protecting your peace is not selfishness.
Some people will misunderstand your distance.
Some people will misunderstand your silence.
Some people will misunderstand your boundaries.
But surviving something difficult changes you.
These days, I no longer absorb every careless comment quietly. I finally learned that not every opinion deserves a place inside my heart.
And despite everything, life still somehow gives me beautiful moments, kind people, peaceful places, and reasons to keep going.