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the summer breeze is a soft caress of merciful serenity against seared skin bearing regret and pain

(soon this too will be lost)

#( aesthetic. )#might delete and repost later

angemuses

Running away isn’t going to help anything. The Politician (S02E06)

#( family. )#( musings. )

elliemoore-thornewood:

“The letters helped, I promise.” Ellie assured her friend with a subtle nod. She didn’t want to think about how she would’ve handled things without the communication. Having a trusted friend disappear and then Finn would’ve led to a horrible outcome and she knew it. The infirmary trip would’ve been sooner and probably worse, but she tried not to dwell on the potential too much. “I knew you were alright and that you hadn’t forgotten about me. That’s what really matters.” She added in a sincere tone. Each and every letter was carefully stored between the covers of one of her personal books. She had treasured each one more than he could ever know.

The apology shot straight into her sensitive heart and caused a worried expression to take over her features. “It wasn’t under your control, you didn’t choose to go away. So please don’t feel guilty for not being here through all that. I did…alright. I’m still here and kickin’ after it all.” She assured him. There was some relief to knowing Bambi hadn’t seen her at her worst when Finn was gone, or when she was admitted to the infirmary. His next words were a challenge to process and react to. She wouldn’t be surprised if his job took him away again, but she knew he would let her know and stay in contact through it. Ellie simply nodded at the promise with a serious expression.

Ellie’s eyes misted over at the genuine confession from Bambi about their friendship. She knew he was often a man of few words, which only added to their weight. Her eyes quickly glanced away to blink away the few tears before returning his gaze. “It won’t disappear, I promise. And someday we won’t have to worry about that, you won’t have to act like a guard. I’ll make it out of here and then we can just be friends.” She signed back, momentarily realizing just how rarely she thought about leaving Thornewood.

. A small smile lit up her tired face at the comment about letting her rule breaking slide. “No, they haven’t bothered me really.” She answered, leaving out the part about fairly easily sneaking into the basement a few times while he was away. If anything it felt like security had loosened in his absence. “You’re not rambling at all, and don’t worry about me being tired. I’ve already been awake for a few hours and know I won’t be able to get any more rest. This is a lot better than sitting in my room staring at the ceiling.” She reassured him.

A bashful smile was hiddes against the porcelaine of the mug, eyes averted at her sweet words. It was an emotional overload, being told that it was okay, that he did enough to alleviate her worries about his whereabouts. thoughts bounced from one point to another, a mess that they usually were intense and to some degree uncomfortable even if it didn’t show through the neutral mask always worn when that whirlwind became too loud.

A sip was almost finished when her words struck a chord heavily enough to make a chill shoot through his body. The smile vanished in a flash, still hidden by the white-blue paint of the coffee mug. As tense as he always was, it felt like her words turned every muscle into stone, and the cup was stuck at parted lips, eyes widening a fraction in the darkness. It wasn’t under your control, you didn’t choose to go away. It was the most effort Bambi had ever made to be unaffected, his sole focus on her further words as to not let that demon in his mind delve on the meaning behind her sentiment. She couldn’t know the heaviness behind that, and for that to come out now was too much of a burden. White knuckles eased by force and the cup was lowered to hide the tremble behind it, and he nodded along, even if the sudden rise in blood pressure made the shill buzz in his ear grow louder and louder. Like drone bombs all over again.

Before his eye was drawn to the silent signing, a trained eye caught the glimmer accentuated by the sunrise outside. A soft heart wasn’t new for him, but her openness at words he deemed too much was appreciated, and clinging to that sweetness made the sudden walls crumble. As soon as the signing began, his eyes left hers and focused on the graceful words. Covertly swallowing the lump in his throat, Bambi untangled his fingers from his drink. A contemplating pause went on before he started once, twice to reply. “I'll always act like a guard, but maybe outside this setting it’ll be easier to be...” Another pause as the beginnings of words started but never finished, “Easier to be.” He finished with a shrug, and a cautious smile, palms flat on the cold table.

“This early? That’s not good, you actually need at least eight hours of sleep a night.” Realizing the hypocrisy in the words made Bambi sigh and lean back in the chair with a creak, old palms now resting against his thigh instead, calming breaths coming easily no when he was further away from her perceptive eye.

“But I have no say in that, I’d be contradicting my own waking hours if I did.” A chuckle, easiness in his tone again as the earlier discomfort was shoved aside. “I’ll have a talk with the others to allow some more recreational things in rooms. There are many who suffer short sleep cycles here, guess that’d be only fair. Better than breaking the rules.”

#( contact: Ellie. )

camlinh-thornewood:

Camille was completely unaware of the internal struggle Bambi was battling, should he scold her for her casual take of the hospital’s rules or not? Though she did take note of the heavy sigh and guessed it could be from their different views on some things. She decided it was a subject best left alone when chatting with the guard. Camille silently brushed it off and focused on the chilled coffee once again, trying to finish it before all the ice melted in the heat.

“Ah I’m sure that’s not true, there’s gotta be a patient or two that have warmed up to you.” She assured him with a wave of her hand. Camille thought over the comment about how chaotic Thornewood could be, and she had to agree. Sometimes she wondered if having the Forrester family around made things worse. “It’s better to be kept on your toes sometimes, keeps things interesting and time doesn’t drag.” She agreed with a half smile.

Was her stress really that obvious? Camille was well aware of the dark circles that sat under her eyes and the constant aura of exhaustion, but she tried her best to cover up the truth with an energetic attitude. “You know me, always a bit stressed and running around…but I kind of prefer it that way. I think it just comes with being a nurse. The infirmary has been on and off busy, though a recent case really broke my heart. Poor thing clearly hasn’t been eating properly for months, probably since she got here. Can’t believe a therapist didn’t catch it sooner.” She said, her brows pulling together with concern.

The mention of having one or two patients that didn’t immediately ostracize him for his job had a dark crimson sneak up from under the collar of his shirt. Fingers that were busy picking at the grass faltered and soon came to hide the expanding blush on sharp cheekbones. If it was the compliment or the veiled truth behind her words that caused the fluster was a mystery, and Bambi wanted to get rid of that feeling as quick as possible. “I hope they’ll find ways to keep us on our toes that doesn’t include breaking the rules.” A grumbled reply came without eye contact, and once again those endlessly fidgety hands were picking at the weeds in the grass.

“Who?” Shock overtook stony features as soon as the words blurted out, wide green eyes quickly finding Cam’s. Matching the concern ini hers was soon replaced by an apologetic smile and an aversion from her gaze. “Dismiss that, I don’t mean to pry. I can read the files if I need to know.” A part of his medic past reeled at the information but was soon locked away. Partly, at least, and Bambi couldn’t stop himself before he continued, “If you ever need assistance in the infirmary, don’t hesitate to page me. I could play nurse a few times before my degree rots away.”

#( contact: Camille. )

cameron-malkin:

A perpetual lack of sleep had caught up with the patient, a nocturnal state had taken over his sleep schedule and considering the therapy session awaiting him early this morning, Cameron came to the unwanted conclusion that sleeping now would be detrimental. The repercussions were not something he wished to face and so, coffee was needed to fuel his groggy movements. Tired feet dragged the yellow patient down the quiet and empty halls, bloodshot hues struggling to stay open in his short search for caffeine.

Rounding the corner to the cafeteria, dilated pupils struggled to adjust to the dim lighting of the room and only caught a glimpse of the startled figure by the coffee machine the remnants of a smirk pulling at the corner of his tired features, taking a twisted sense of amusement over scaring the other with his ominous presence.

“Can’t be too early if you haven’t actually slept,” Came the mumbled reply as tattooed hands reached for a mug, side-eyeing the man beside him. “You keepin’ tabs or somethin’?” A disgruntled frown followed his question, weighing up the guard that he vaguely recognised, even in his fatigued state, Cameron knew Shiloh hadn’t been present at the hospital in some time. “Someone summon you in a witches circle? Where the fuck have you been?”

Accusations made the guard step away back to the table here he’d left his belongings, a hum of agreement reverberating through his chest in lieu of a vocal reply. Even the statement of not sleeping was already stored away as a concer and Bambi couldn’t lie about that; It was his job to now everything. If he didn’t, he wasn’t doing his job. Feigning a reply wasn’t what the guard usually did, but something int he back of his brain told him it was okay, a self-reservation tactic. While dwelling on that strange sensation he pulled out a chair and set himself down, hazel eyes turning to the tall man beside him at the question.

Confusion was a momentary feeling before a huff of breath resembling a chuckle came through tired lips. A joke brewed from the words, barely bitten back with a shake of his head and Bambi turned to stare at his coffee as he mulled for a reply. “I don’t think an email counts as witchcraft. I was doing my job at another location. I doubt that’s too interesting.” A hand brushed over the slight stubble before rubbing the rest of the red-eye flight exhaustion from his eyes, and subsequently wiped away the last apprehension still clinging to him from the other unit.

A loud sigh distorted the steam from the cup before a calloused hand wrapped around the mug. “You should head back to your room to drink that,” Squinted eyes sought through the dim light for the mug in Cameron’s hands, a pointed nod towards it before mixed green eyes sliced to blues, then back to the table. “Unless you actually want a note on your record, that’s really up to you.”

#( contact: Cameron. )

camlinh-thornewood:

Camille noticed the tactical vest hanging loose, and she didn’t blame him at all. It looked like it was easy to overheat in. The nurse simply gave a shrug at the comment about not handing out contraband. “Who am I to make things harder in here for patients? They deserve to live a little from time to time.” She replied, taking the rules so casually as usual.

“Oh no, I would appreciate some company. It’s better than sitting out here alone whining to myself about the heat.” She answered, gesturing for him to take a seat on the grass next to her. Camille took another sip of the iced coffee, which was melting by the minute. “Welcome back by the way. Happy to see ol’ Thornewood again?” She questioned with a raise of her brows. Camille didn’t know Bambi too well, but she never had any negative interactions before, so his company was welcomed.

His jaw worked against a rebuttal, choice words bouncing around his head as she watched Cam disregard the rules so nonchalantly. While dark brows twitched into a frown, the heat had to be the reason he let the subject go. If she hadn’t changed during the months he’d been away, it was hardly possible to sway her ways now. Instead of reprimanding her, a sigh flowed out of overheated lungs and Bambi took a comfortable seat at the edge of the shadow, one leg stretched out while the other worked as an armrest. Anxious eyes still scanned the garden for others, a worry of being seen as lazy or slacking off prominent on his mind even as forest green hues scanned over the assortment of snacks.

“Hm?” The sound was accompanied by those deep eyes snapping to hers, her words slightly muffled before his brain pieced the question together. With a soft oh, Bambi nodded and focused on the grass twisting around his boot. “Thank you. I’m sure I’m happier to be here than the patients are to have me back.” An attempt at a joke that made Bambi’s brow rease in confusion at his own words. “It’s good to be back, even if it’s more chaotic than the Ontario unit. I missed being proactive.” A smile adorned pale pink lips, but it was genuine even if the terror of the summer heat still tried to draw it into a grimace.

“I can’t tell if you’re still as stressed as you were when I left, but I don’t want to be presumptuous. How have you been? Has the infirmary been busy?”

#( contact: Camille. )#Hello this is bambi 'small talk about work' barnes at your service

elliemoore-thornewood:

Ellie was perceptive as always, and she noticed no signs of anxiety or discomfort from the brief moment of contact. That wasn’t always the case with Bambi, so she was thankful to have this relaxed moment. It’s exactly what she needed after a rough night. His answer brought another smile to her tired face, she had caught him at the perfect time. “I’m glad I can be the one to welcome you back then.” She replied. “You’ve been practicing your signs?” She questioned after taking notice of his smoother movements.

Her exhausted body welcomed the chair despite anxiety that called for her to pace and fiddle. Ellie took in and processed Bambi’s next statement, giving a shake of her head at his apologies. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, you contacted me as soon as you could. I’m just glad you were able to send me some letters, I knew you were okay, unlike F-” Her words stopped short, the disappearance of him still weighing heavily on her at times. The anxiety surrounding Finn’s whereabouts and safety always nagged at the back of her thoughts when he wasn’t physically by her side.

The question was a difficult one to answer for Ellie. She wanted to be more open with those she trusted, but it was never easy to discuss her struggles. “I’ve been uh, I’ve been alright. Some really shitty stuff happened, but it’s getting better.” She answered vaguely. Ellie did wonder if Bambi would hear about or read about her trip to the infirmary and she felt guilt for not openly telling him about it. Her body language softened and she gave him a bittersweet smile in return. “I missed you too, a lot. It was hard not having you here for the last few months especially.” She signed before reaching out a thin hand to give one of his a squeeze.

Another wave overcame pale features when her infinite perception caught him off guard, painting high cheekbones red as he signed a hurried yes. As embarrassment clawed at his very soul, Bambi zoned his attention on the steam rising from the coffee before him. The chair creaked under his weight as he scooted to give her space to sit. Hazel eyes zoned in on the wall of steam rising from his coffee but there was time to flick over to look at her as she spoke. Another apology nearly spilled from parted lips and a short breath, but those cursed, overused words of his were reigned in with a tight smile and a nod.

“I did tell you I wouldn’t leave without a warning again, and I’m a man of my word. Still, I’m so-” As she had done before him, Bambi also cut off his word. For different reasons it would seem, but the apology was now replaced with a low, self-deprecating chuckle and a rough hand running over his face turned away from her. “I’m glad I could ease your mind. It’s been a long time since I’ve sent letters to anyone. You deserved to know.” No sincere letters since the military, or the CV he’d so gracefully mailed instead of sending electronically. Those thoughts already made Bambi feel the threads of tension coil around his heart, her voice the angel from above that kept those treacherous feelings at bay.

Nodding along to her confession, eyes soon sliding back to meet hers. Without his reports and files Bambi felt like bumbling fool when it came to interaction with anyone, and her admission did raise a cautious red flag. Fingers tapped the hot porcelaine without care for the momentary pain as he searched her tired eyes, his own softening at her tired appearance. “I'm s- Um, I- I wish I could’ve been here to help you through it, but I’m sure the professionals here could offer some support.” As his voice went down in volume, more to a whisper in the silent room, Bambi freed his reddened fingertips from around the cup and resorted to that form of signing instead.

“I know I’ve said it too much,and I don’t blame you if you wouldn’t believe me, but I’m not going anywhere.” A lowered tilt of his head caught her eyes and Bambi let his lips draw into a soft smile, a cautious little thing full of hope and apprehension. She had every right to doubt him now after all the times he’d let her down. There was fear behind that thought, but it was held deep inside, hidden from the surface.

“I’ll do my best to be here for you from now on, as much as my job allows me to be. You’re- You’re my friend, and I don’t want that to disappear. I hope you never forget that, even when I have to act like a guard instead of a friend.” It was a frightening, uncomfortable thought. His shoulders stiffened at the thought of having to drag her to solitary, or even a basic restraining hold unlike that he’d used on her during the fight so many months ago. Mossy eyes sought hers before finding solace in the darkness within his drink, again, but the smile still kept in place. “Until my shift begins I’ll let this disregard for curfew slide. I’m just glad you found me first, before my coworkers. I prefer this,” He gestured between them with a sheepish smile, “To them talking over each other. I doubt anything’s changed with that. They- They haven’t given you trouble, right? Finley isn’t the best at keeping them in check, strange for a Forrester child but- But I’m rambling, I’m sorry. You must be tired.”

#( contact: Ellie. )

elliemoore-thornewood:

It had been yet another night of little to no sleep for Ellie. It was often that way on nights that she wasn’t able to share a bed with Finn. Sometimes it made her feel weak to need him to sleep well, but knowing he was next to her and safe eased a lot of her anxieties. Ellie decided that some hot tea would be soothing after a few hours of nightmares and flashbacks. She doubted she would run into anyone, but she put in her hearing aids just in case.

Upon stepping into the dim cafeteria Ellie spotted someone else and paused for a moment in confusion. Without his uniform it took a few seconds for Ellie to register that Bambi was back. She didn’t know when he would return despite fairly regular letters from him, so she was just as surprised as he was. Ellie’s tired face broke into a smile at seeing her friend again. She hurried forward to give him a hug, her thin arms struggling to give any solid squeeze. “Oh hush, I know it’s early, but I’m so happy you’re back!” She replied.

Ellie took a step back to give him some space after the short embrace. She worried he would notice the difference since he had last been at Thornewood. Despite rigorous therapy and treatment her clothes hung loosely on a still withering body, but it was one that was inching towards recovery. In spite of Finn’s recent return dark circles sat under her eyes, but they were improving little by little. “When did you get back?” She asked, signing as she spoke. Fluently signing with someone else again almost felt like returning home, it was familiar and comforting.

Once his addled brain caught up with the visage that stood before him, Bambi’s face lit up. It was the first smile he’d shown in months, and here it felt easier than ever. While her thin arms felt weaker than before, Bambi kept the dazzling smile on his face as he returned the embrace; Something he still managed with her around. He looked at memories of the Canadian colleagues attempting a similar gesture with anxiety, but the feeling behind this hug was something familiar. Even in the comfortability Bambi noted the difference, and while her face wasn’t facing his, a brief tic of his brows into worry before the neutrality was back in place.

Looking at her, Bambi found no objections to her reasoning. It brought down his perceived integrity, but he wasn’t on duty and patrols weren’t scheduled to pass the cafeteria for some hours, so the usual tension that came with skirting the rules wasn’t visible tension or nervous movements. Hazel eyes skipped from her eyes, to the hearing aids and finally to the clothes on her back in what could be seen as disbelief. Cursed by perception, he noticed the hang around the shoulders and wrists, but he made an assumption she wore baggier clothes at night.

The grin that had slowly faded into a slight quirk of a content smile got more oomph behind it at her signing. The mug in his hands clanked loudly against the table as he set it down to free his hands for a reply.

“I got back half an hour ago,” he signed, the movements less laggy than they were before he left. Being alone in a foreign country with an introvert’s personality had left him nothing but time to practice his signing. His hands fell to his thighs as he sat down at the table and gestured at her to join him, “If you want, it’s still very early.” The heat of the coffee seeped through the mug as Bambi wrapped his fingers around it again, bringing it up to his lips before freeing them for further conversation.

“I’m happy to be back. I’m sorry I left like that again, both from our conversation and to Canada. Emergencies never rest. How, how have you been?” Eyes averted for a moment to collect his thoughts, the view behind the windows heavy with morning grace to help him find the words.

“I missed you.”

#( contact: Ellie. )#I've had this gif saved since I got home oops

Sunrise Blues || OPEN || 6.25.2020

It was the earliest Bambi had ever set foot in the cafeteria — or not; he was a chronic early bird, and the receptionist had questioned his motives for coming to work three hours early, today was no different. The plane from Canada had touched down only half an hour before and home hadn’t even seen the man before he’d made his way to the hospital. Although the nights were light in the summer, it was still dim out while the clock ticked closer to five a.m and Bambi made himself at home near the coffeemaker. With the cafeteria — and subsequently the hospital — sound asleep, Bambi hadn’t donned his usual work uniform but sported something he’d never imagined he’d wear to the hospital, sweatpants and a ratty black hoodie. The proper militaristic posture was traded for a slight, tired slouch as his palms held against the countertop edge in patient wait for the coffee to finish brewing.

“I hope I’m not mistaken for a patient” was an ironic yet prevalent thought as he poured himself a cup of steaming, freshly made coffee. Slow in his movements, Bambi stood by the electronic for a moment longer to rub the travel exhaustion from his eyes. Stifling a yawn came at the same point as he turned to take his spot at the table, only for that yawn to turn into an exclamation of surprise. Eyebrows shot up and the noise that came from the depths of his lungs was as much of a yelp as it as a grunt, and even through the unlit darkness in the room Bambi could tell his eyes widened a comical amount and cheeks reddened into an embarrassed crimson hue.

“Jesus, you startled me.” The statement was obvious, but he hadn’t heard the footsteps approaching. Blame it on the incessant tinnitus drowning out the small sounds in the dead of night. Adjusting the slipped grip around the coffee mug, Bambi wiped the shock off his face with a rough palm that continued to push back his short-cropped hair.

“I didn’t hear you walk up. It’s a bit too early to be up, don’t you think?”

#thornewood.starter #is - is this okay?#eek

camlinh-thornewood:

Snacks and Blooms || Open Starter || 6.22.2020

Summer was finally in full swing around Thornewood and the gardens were blooming. Bumble bees lazily hummed around the countless flowers in search of nectar. With the warm season Camille made sure to take any breaks she could get outside to soak up the sunshine. She had just barely managed to squeeze some time between a mountain of paperwork and rounds with patients.

A small packed lunch was dumped on the grass haphazardly as Camille leaned against a tree. She took a sip from an ice coffee, the only thing keeping her going half the time, and let out a big sigh. Before she could fully relax she spotted a figure approaching. Camille gestured towards the various snacks and sandwich by her side. “You hungry at all? I’m already the community cigarette donor, gotta add some snacks in there as well.” She quipped with a half smile.

The heat was like a blanket too tight and too warm to be comfortable in. Snagging the garden patrol was an attempt to relieve the discomfort brought by a t-shirt already sticking to humid skin, but the light breeze was only a minor help. With curious eyes out of range, Bambi undid the tactical vest that always adorned his form and fanned the burgundy fabric below. Completely engrossed in cooling down and subconsciously tracking towards the shade of the numerous trees, he almost missed the plethora of food until the sunshine was blocked by the rustling leaves.

Pausing for a moment Bambi quickly let go of his shirt. It didn’t help with the unprofessional outlook with the vest hanging from his shoulders, but he still offered a smile in return.

“You still shouldn’t distribute contraband to the patients, you know.” Camille hadn’t been one of those he interacted much with, only briefly during file runs and report signatures, but Bambi still preferred her over most of his fellow guards. Her offer made him shake his wrist and check the time, and with a hum it was dropped to his side. “Are you sure? I could take my break now, but I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

#( contact: Camille. )

anemonaee

#( musings. )

lucifer-chloe

make me choose ♡ anonymous asked: jay halstead with or without facial hair

#( visage. )#*bass boosted backstreets back by backstreet boys starts playing*

elliemoore-thornewood

Reunion || Ellie+Bambi [1.5.2020]

sh-bambi

elliemoore-thornewood :

The tension and anxiety in the air between them was thick, but Ellie did her best to breathe it away. She could do this, they could do this. She had to trust that they would both listen the best they could and be accepting. Ellie had no idea that Bambi had ever read her records, he never told her the truth about why he reacted so badly that day. “Then the library it is…or actually, if Lex isn’t around we could use my room. At least that way we can close the door and not have anybody walk in.” She said with a thoughtful nod, wanting to make this a little less difficult for the both of them.

Bambi’s signing, even if a little clumsy at first, automatically put Ellie at much more ease than before. It was one of the first things they connected over, and it would always be a comfort for her. It was also easier in some ways to express emotions and deeper thoughts with asl rather than verbally speaking. It felt a little less cheesy or embarrassing. His expression and words were needed assurance and encouragement.

“The same goes for you…You’re you no matter what, you’ll always be the Bambi I know and trust.” She signed in response before stepping through the opened doors. Ellie silently decided that her room may work best so she led the way there and was relieved to see it empty. Ellie closed the door gently and paced across the room with tight hands. She sat herself on the edge of the bed with a heavy sigh. “Just let me know when you’re ready to hear my history.” She said as she waited for him to get comfortable in his own way.

Trust. The word made Bambi suppress a flinch, the sensation something different when he knew it was on another level than her trusting him as a guard, but as a person. Although a waver of a thankful smile was directed at her, it soon melted back into a straight-lined lip, eyes set far in front of them as he followed along. Halfway through he snapped back to attention, realizing that in midst of his patrols he’d grown used to the hallways and this was not the way to the library. So, her room, then. A wordless nod, aimed at himself, and he stepped into a room that felt more comfortable than he’d imagined. The empty rooms wee clinical, no matter how much effort the Forresters had poured into them; this was personal, warm, a stark contrast to the rest of what he was used to see.

Withholding a comment on the room, Bambi instead resorted to pull himself out of the stasis he’d fallen into by the door. With an awkward shuffle of his legs, the stepped up to the desk to pull himself a chair, the silence dragging as he settled down comfortably. Hazel eyes met hers as he leaned forwards, elbows leaning on jean-clad knees, fingers picking one another as he sought the emotion in her eyes. Trying his best to soften his edges, Bambi relaxed his shoulders and offered her a genuine smile, a valiant effort at signing accompanying his words now that it set in that it helped her relax.

“Whenever you’re ready, Ellie. If it gets too difficult, you don’t have to force yourself, alright?” That softness he’d learned after coming to Thornewood wasn’t lost, and he still worried. Speaking of her past couldn’t be easy, the sigh adding to the sight of dread that was becoming clear. “You go at your own pace. I’m not going anywhere.” And to prove that point, nimble fingers went to unplug the earpiece to silence the radio chatter from outside the room, his undivided attention on her and her story.

#( contact: Ellie. )#bring on the paiN

elliemoore-thornewood

Reunion || Ellie+Bambi [1.5.2020]

sh-bambi

elliemoore-thornewood :

This was going to be a heavy discussion for both of them, that much Ellie was certain of. Though she had no idea how Bambi would react to her truth, the full story of what happened that night. It was a rough story full of trauma, heartbreak and violence. His assurance that he had time made her heart beat just a little faster and a lump of anxiety form in her throat. She needed to do this though, she refused to back down.

It was easy fro Ellie to notice Bambi’s gaze often flickering towards the large hospital. Was he cold? Did he prefer to be inside? Or was he simply avoiding eye contact? Ellie wasn’t so sure on which option it was, or if it was simply a mix of them. Bambi’s nervousness was easy to read though so Ellie nodded in agreement. “Yeah, let’s find somewhere quiet inside. I know the library tends to be pretty empty…though you probably know quiet places better than I do.” She replied as they turned towards the hospital and started to talk back.

Ellie paused for a moment at the thanks from Bambi for her trust. This time she signed as she spoke, a way to express her trust and connection to him. “Bambi, of course I trust you. You’re my best friend here, you understand me. You deserve to know the truth about me, even if you won’t see me the same way.” She expressed with a genuine glow to her eyes. Ellie hadn’t told anybody at Thornewood the full story before, and the only person who know anything at all was Cameron. It was frightening to open up about such a dark time, but there was a relief as well.

It felt like a spiral of anxiety, sucking them both into the vortex. though reassurance that it was going to be okay lingered on hi tongue, teeth clamped down at the thought of speaking anything more, the long ramble already enough out of him. But he noticed, made a note of her hesitance, and it was mirrored from him as well. Did she know he’d read her file all those months ago? Did she remember his meltdown that resulted in toppled chairs, and a great deal of uncharacteristic anger from his side? It had been a blur then, his brain not fully conjuring the memory-- suppressed, most likely. He wasn’t that man anymore. At least the crunch of the snow beneath his feet kept him anchored as he shifted his weight from one leg to another, a brisk nod offered before they started towards the hospital. It was a relief to get out of the open, at least. Not as many possibly prying eyes.

The cold expression that had overtaken him as a subconscious action soon melted into something more mellow, softer around the edges. The constant line on his forehead smoothed away as he glanced over t her, a shoulder rolling at her statement, “The library is pretty quiet. There’s always an argument when we’re assigned patrols- everyone wants to have it.” God knows why. Bambi appreciated silence just as much, if not more, as the next man but prolonged exposure to it made him jittery. Even thinking about it got him to twist his watch back and forth, a nervous habit that was halted when she signed. It was strange seeing it again, after the prominent break he’d taken-- strange enough to give his heart pause.

It took him a while to recall the signs, the beginning of the sentence retried once or twice before he got the hang of it, embarrassment dangerously close to coloring frostbitten cheeks even deeper red. Not that the fact that she called him her best friend helped keep the shade at bay. “There’s very little you could tell me that I’d deem bad enough to sever this friendship over,” the glow in her eyes was matched with a soft sidelong glance. Perhaps it didn’t reassure her much, but hopefully it’d make sense after their talk-- If he got that far. She sure was braver than he was at that matter, even if her demeanor spoke in levels he could relate to. A perfect gentleman, as soon as they got to the doors he pulled it open, briefly shaking off the stray snow clinging to his boots, patiently waiting for her to join him before navigating towards the library, anxiety growing with each step. Maybe it was her who would see him differently?

#( contact: Ellie. )

Wardrobe snapshots: Casual

Point of interest: The tactical watch hasn't been off Bambi's wrist for anything except maintenance. The tan line below is a stark reminder that it's a vital part of his person, not just an accessory.

#( visage. )#biggest shoutout to Hanna for the inspo 😘

finneganthornewood

Face to the Floor// 1.29.20

sh-bambi

finneganthornewood :

ccallahann :

Keep reading

The thunder of a storm had only been the beginning of a night Bambi would spend his week trying to forget. From calls to help round up lost red patients, to watching over said patients to make sure they wouldn’t do anything rash, to securing the perimeter in case something worse came to happen. All the precautions and Bambi still found himself frantically dashing through the darkened hallways, the chatter in his earpiece deafening when they tried to logistically take care of the fight that had broken out. Disregarding others, the guard pushed aside nurses and other patients lounging in the halls, voices calling out after him to watch it, asshole!

#( contact: Casey. )#( contact: Finnegan. )#tw: violence #tw: blood #PSA: I realize this looks like a whole bunch of godmod - big yike #but we have an agreement with Jens that this is the best course of action #please hmu if you want anything changed! my brain was all over the place

elliemoore-thornewood

Reunion || Ellie+Bambi [1.5.2020]

sh-bambi

elliemoore-thornewood :

There was a relief to seeing Bambi’s own actions to hide the flood of emotions. Ellie knew him well enough to pick up on the subtle body language as he tried to cover his own cracks. She no longer felt as if she was being overly emotional or having too big of a reaction to Bambi’s return. There was a silent understanding between the two of them that Ellie didn’t have with any other friends on the same level. It was difficult to put that connection into words, and there was no need to.

Ellie waited with held breath and tense shoulders as she gave Bambi time to read and re-read her letter. Anxiety crept up her spine as Bambi’s brows furrowed together tighter. At seeing Bambi’s stance melt into something more comfortable Ellie let out her own sigh of relief. Bambi’s slight smile cause Ellie’s own lips to turn up at the corners slightly. Ellie understood that Bambi was often a man of few words, and his expression helped convey just how grateful he was for her honest words.

A shaky laugh bubbled from her lips at the ruffling of her hair. It was a slightly awkward gesture, but she knew what it meant to him. “Oh just give me a hug you goof.” She teased lightly before wrapping her arms around him again in a quick hug. “Really though, I missed you and I’m glad you’re back.” She added while her cheek was pressed to his jacket. Her thin arms gave a weak squeeze before letting go, not wanting to overwhelm him.

“I know it’s pretty cold out here and you’re probably on patrol…but do you have time? I don’t want to keep holding this from you…I think it will be best if I can just tell you now.” She replied with a wavering but determined tone. It felt like her heart was in her throat, pounding with the fear of finally telling somebody the full story that hadn’t simply read her file.

He could get used to the sensation of comfort, the hug slowly making itself something acceptable, the tension usually associated with physical contact, gone. Even that thought made some part of his brain nag, don’t get comfortable. Long fingers did cling to the fabric of her jacket for a brief second before the though was broken and it was simultaneously a relief, and distressing. Mixed signals from a frayed body never meant anything good, and what would it become now that he realized he had to bare his heart to her?

Willingly, he reminded himself when a s mile sought its way back to his lips at her concern for his patrol. His eyes flicked over the barren garden, cold fingers finding refuge in his pockets. It was against regulations to abort a patrol, especially if it was to have personal relations. But that wasn’t the word now, this was a chat with a friend. A long overdue chat, and from avoiding her gaze, Bambi turned to look at her again. Even with a concern shadowing the usual veil of serenity, he nodded one, twice, quick succession.

“Of course, I have time.” Which he didn’t if it came to work, but somewhere, someone online had said that some rules were meant to be broken. Still, a gnawing in his mind turned to his teeth worrying his bottom lip, eyes yet again leaving hers to favor the far wall of the mansion. “It’s cold, yeah. We could go inside, if you want? My patrol route would change in fifteen, and I doubt anyone is daring enough to camp out here in these temperatures.” A quirk of pale lips when the attempted joke came out more flat than he’d planned. It was an attempt to put her at ease as well; He hadn’t spent all those years in the army just to ignore the signs of nerves present. Maybe walking would help her formulate the words, because Bambi knew himself well enough to know that he’d stumble over his if he had to speak of those days again.

“It’s, um,” he paused, taking half a step towards the garden doors, just in case she wanted to stay outside after all. “It’s better inside, too. The nurses would beat me up if I let you catch a cold. Unless you want to stay here, that’s fine, this jacket is pretty okay. Up to standards at least. It’s cold, though, so--” There it was, the initial nervousness coming forward when his eyes stayed on the doors. For the words to flow out like that from normally tightly-sealed lips, it made him cringe. “I’m rambling, I’m sorry. It’s a, uh, they say it’s a character quirk. I’m- I’m gonna shut up now.” For a second, “I’m- I’m honored you feel you can trust me with this though. Thank you.”

#( contact: Ellie. )

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