Finnegan Martin

This is an RP blog. Muse and Writer are 21+.

[finneganthornewood]

elliemoore-thornewood​:

Ellie felt some guilt at startling Finn out of his thoughts. Though his expression settled into something softer, less frightening. She listened to his words and closely watched his body language. Despite the softening, something still seemed off about his posture and movements. ”You don’t need to be sorry. I understand how hard all of this is. Just…don’t forget that I’m here for you, in whatever way you need me to be.” She assured him gently. Her cold hands reached for his own to give them a squeeze. She desperately wished she could convey just how much he meant to her, that her whole world was wrapped around him. 

“I’m doing alright…not at my worst. Trying the best I can to move forward and make progress, but some days I’m taking steps backwards.” She answered with a small shake of her head. Answering honestly was important, but she always feared she would cause him worry. Ellie dreamed of a day when they would leave Thornewood together. It’s what pushed her to keep trying so hard to heal. “I’m not entirely certain actually. I haven’t spoken with them much recently. I’m just an annoyance to Cameron anyways, but I’m glad he’s learning to be nicer.” Ellie spoke with a shrug. “Casey’s been nice to me though…kind of weird, but I’ll take any friends I can get around here.” She added, a bit concerned of what Finn’s reaction might be.

Ellie fully closed the gap between them, wanting to be close to Finn. She settled into his lap and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. Finn was her rock against the turmoil of Thornewood, but she was his protector. Ellie leaned in more to press a gentle kiss to his cheek, which was chilly from the night air. “How long have you been out here?” She questioned at feeling how cold he was.

Of course Ellie was being sweet to him. It was evident after all of the time that had passed that Ellie had the capacity to forgive him for just about anything. The secret pills, the self-destructive behavior, hiding truths, leaving without warning, not seeing her for days on end... all of it was set aside when Ellie’s fragile hands slipped over his. “Progress isn’t always a straight line.” Finn sympathized with his girlfriend’s frustration. It was a line he’d heard in therapy plenty of times before, but it was an easy one to forget, especially when moving backwards meant more time at Thornewood. “Don’t worry, El, you’ll get there.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. He wasn’t sure when the image of both of them getting better together had left his mind, but he realized it once he’d spoken. He really only could see Ellie getting out of Thornewood. The place that he was at now was like quicksand. He couldn’t seem to get a grip or really find any orientation.

“You’ve been hanging out with Casey?” Finn didn’t mean for his tone to hold so much surprise, but it did. His own relationship with Casey was tentatively mended, but he didn’t like the idea of Ellie getting close to him. There were too many unknowns about Casey. “I didn’t realize you two got along.” The last he recalled, Ellie had been furious with Casey for the altercation between him and Finn. But perhaps more had happened than expected while Finn was at the Brotman Institute. “Did that start when I left?” He tried not to sound jealous, but it was difficult with Ellie settled on his lap and his mind focused on the two of them hanging out while he was away.

Ellie’s question caught him off guard and he tried to clear his head and figure out the answer. “I don’t really know what time it was, to be honest.” Finn sighed. “It feels like I’ve been here for a couple hours, but I don’t really know.” His face dropped into a soft frown. His mental fog was really beginning to frustrate him. “Why don’t we go inside?” He suddenly suggested, standing a bit and lifting her off of him. He made sure that she was set down carefully and then he shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. His shoulders stooped a bit as he turned and moved back towards the hospital. 

[musingisms]

“I thought the nightmares, the visions, the demons would go away if there was enough love to put them down.”

— Anne Sexton, interviewed in The Art of Poetry No. 15 (via nastyorchid)

[finneganthornewood]

elliemoore-thornewood​:

The air of the gardens was crisp from the chill that settled as the sun dipped lower. Ellie flexed chilly fingers in an attempt to warm them up. She glanced up at the somewhat gloomy sky with a small sigh. The hospital was warmer than being outside, but she didn’t want to go in just yet, she feared the smothering energy of the old building.  Ellie decided she could fit in one more lap around the gardens before the sun fully set. Her feet followed the path as darkness settled over the hushed landscape. Even in the dark Ellie recognized the familiar figure on a bench not far ahead, Finn. Her heart swelled with warmth at seeing him and her pace quickened. 

As she grew closer she noticed this body language was strange, almost defensive. Her hearing aids couldn’t make out the words, but it looked like he was speaking, which was odd to her since nobody else was around. It was difficult in the fading light, but Ellie was just able to lip read a few words. Started It, Dreams, Memories. None of it made sense or connected to her. Was he talking about having nightmares again? 

Ellie stepped closer, pausing with some distance between their bodies, not wanting to step into the tense bubble. “Finn?” She called softly, with some hesitation. Ellie’s soft features pulled together with worry at the expression on his face. Slender fingers reached out for him, pausing halfway in the air. She longed to pull him into a warm embrace, to protect him from his past and his mind. “Are…are you alright?” She asked. It felt like a stupid question, nobody around Thornewood was every truly okay it seemed. Ice cold fear and anxiety gripped her heart tightly. Finn needed to be okay, she would help him be okay.

The sounds made him jolt. He turned his head in surprise and his wide blue eyes settled on the pale figure of his girlfriend. He felt almost guilty thinking of her that way when he knew that he’d been neglecting her recently. He hadn’t felt quite right. Not quite stable enough. Erron’s words kept echoing in his head. Had her companionship helped him? Of course. Had his helped her? He wasn’t as sure about that. Amorous relationships were frowned upon for a reason. But he knew he needed her. Whether that was a selfish impulse or not seemed inconsequential when she was keeping him afloat. There was no other feasible option in his mind. Ellie was everything. 

“Yeah, I’m alright.” Finn nodded, forcing his serious expression into a softer one. “Just grappling with some stuff from therapy. You know how it is. Sometimes you don’t realize things you’d been thinking about until it all gets dragged out...” The two of them shared the same therapist, so he assumed that Erron’s approach with her was similar to his approach with Finn. “I’m sorry I’ve been kind of absent. I’ve been speaking to Dr. Bennett a lot lately and then I end up kind of emotionally exhausted afterwards.”

“How are you though?” He cleared his throat and tried to look at her more intentionally while signing the bits that he knew. “How are, um, Lexus and Cameron? The others? I haven’t spoken to Cameron much, though he’s been nicer lately than he used to be.” He used to be annoyed that Ellie and Cameron were friends, but he’d gotten over that for the most bit by now. He had felt protective of her, that was all. There was no jealousy there, but a good deal of concern.

[finneganthornewood]

Slipping into Winter//10.27

The halls of Thornewood were growing colder by the day as the warmth of early autumn slipped away. The days seemed to be growing darker and as the light faded so did Finnegan’s mental clarity. The passing weeks seemed to mount up around him. Erron’s guidance had helped at first. Recalling his memories of the fire that had left him scarred was difficult, but it reminded him why he was here. It was only once his therapist had begun pressing him about his relationships, his time at the Brotman Institute, and his nightmares, that lines began to blur. Lately, Finn had taken to wandering around, muttering to himself. He didn’t usually seem to be aware that he was doing it, or even that he was awake.

He was sitting out in the yard on a bench when the sun finally dipped below the horizon and left the gardens in darkness. “I wasn’t told until I got here.” He murmured, waving his hand as if he were explain something to an invisible interlocutor. “I couldn’t have been there you know. I couldn’t have started it. I didn’t start either of them.” It had to make sense, in his mind. He had to make it make sense. He wasn’t an arsonist. He was just covered in fire scars...and had been committed for over a year...and sometimes dreamed about starting those fires. “It’s just a dream, not a memory.” He muttered aggressively.  

[finneganthornewood]

elliemoore-thornewood​:

Ellie’s gaze didn’t flick away for a moment as Finn answered her question. It could be difficult to keep up with a conversation if the cafeteria was noisy, and she didn’t want to miss a single word he said. Sometimes she worried that too much of her world was revolving around Finn, but she didn’t dare loosen her  anxious grasp after his time at Brotman. 

Every word of Finn’s suffering was like a needle to Ellie’s heart. Concern tightened her stomach into knots. She would rather have his honesty and trust though, even if it meant more worry on her shoulders. Ellie set down her utensils and reached out for one of Finn’s hands, gently holding it between her own with a squeeze of silent support. “I know what that sense of fear is like…having it follow you day after day, its horrible.” She said softly, remembering the first few weeks after the death of her father. It felt like at any moment the murderer would show up again to finish her off, despite the knowledge that he was gone. 

Ellie was quick to notice Finn’s sudden loss of concentration and what he had just been discussing. She desperately wished she could magically make his suffering go away forever. “Don’t be sorry, it happens.” Ellie quickly reassured him with furrowed brows. “I can start sneaking into your room at night again. Maybe I can help fight off the nightmares, or at least be there when you wake up from them.” She offered with the hint of a smile. 

Finn was not surprised that Ellie understood exactly what was weighing on him. They were far less different than they seemed on the surface. Her memories sat on her shoulders the same way his did. Lately it seemed that memories were the only things occupying his mind. Finn had been following Erron’s advice to write down every detail of his nightmares, and it was hard to think of much else while he was awake. That journal of notes was just sitting by his bed like a goddamn confessional. It was difficult to have all of those hidden things outside of himself. Even if he knew Cameron probably had zero interest in prying, it was strange to walk back into the room and feel the journal’s presence. 

“It would be amazing if you could manage that.” Finn smiled, looking at her straight on so that she could read his lips properly. “Though, would it be weird for you with Cameron there? He’s been... not exactly friendly towards me, though we’ve made some progress. I know you two were close for a while though.” The way the last sentence left him was almost painful. He’d dwelt on that tidbit of information a little too long. He had to accept it that Ellie got closer to people while he’d been away. Why it had to be Cameron, he couldn’t understand, but as long as she’d had friends to support her, that was what mattered. “How’re you doing lately actually?” Finn asked with the slight tilt of his head. “Have you been socializing much?”

[finneganthornewood]

ccallahann​:

An exasperated sigh left Casey as soon as he’d stepped into the room. Dinner had never been something he’d enjoyed; It was loud, and too institutionalied for the man to ever feel comfortable within the scrapes of cutlery and sudden bursts of laughter. Even if shoulders were tense beneath the thick leather of his jacket, a humorous notion pushed through the stress; It was like high school again. Usually one to sit alone in the furthest corner, Casey hadn’t planned on doing anything but that. Wolf down the meager rations he had, then bolt quickly enough to lose the guards at the doors. 

Maybe he’d lingered in one spot for too long when someone pushed past him in a hurry, their enthusiastic wave at another patient cheesy enough to make Casey grimace momentarily. A wordless “what the fuck” got halfway through as blue eyes stayed on the scene, only to be drawn away by an open invitation. Baffled, Casey shifted his gaze to Finn in a snap. Bewilderment lingered for a second longer before the blonde looked around to make sure it was him being addressed. 

“Me?” It came as a huff, a small laughter of disbelief. A searching stare stayed on the ex-roommate, and after a moment of contemplation he placed the tray down, himself a second later. “Thanks, mate. Got here a bit too early, ain’t usually this crowded.” Another scrape of someone’s fork against a plate made Casey cringe, his own fork stabbed into the small mound of salad he’d slapped on there haphazardly. “So, dinner company, huh. Can’t say I’ve done that in a while. We talking about stock markets, trades? Oh, gossip? One of the other reds screams in their sleep. It’s freaky.” Although masked well as a joke, there was a painful truth that Casey had no clue what to do with company while eating, point proven by him shoving an entire forkful of nothing but leafy greens in his mouth to keep busy.

Finn had been absent-minded lately. He nearly second guessed himself when Casey chuckled and questioned Finn’s request for company. Had Finn imagined that night on the roof above the garden? They’d been decently civil with one another, even after Casey scared him. Finn had considered it progress. When Casey placed his tray down, Finn finally got confirmation that he had not, in fact, imagined the patching of their relationship. “Yeah, the crowds were making me a bit uncomfortable to be honest.” Finn admitted. The corners of his mouth pulled to the side as he offered a sympathetic shrug. “No avoiding it I suppose. But I didn’t want to be stuck sitting with a stranger.” Or worse, one of his former friends. His eyes scanned the room for Lexus at that thought, but he didn’t catch sight of the dark haired girl. A small mercy.

Finn’s brows arched at the cavalier ‘gossip’ Casey offered. “Sounds freaky, yeah.” His tone wasn’t particularly convincing. He was too busy wondering if he’d ever screamed in his sleep, and if Casey had ever told anyone about his issues or scars. “Sorry that you’re still stuck on the red floor.” Finn added, looking down at his plate while he spoke. “I was more at fault for that night than you. Seems unjustified that you’re the only one stuck up there.”

[finneganthornewood]

eerronn​:

Unsurprisingly, Erron’s commands didn’t go unheard on either front and it filled the doctor with an entitled pride, the smile tugging at his lips widening for a moment just to fade back to neutrality. Though seemingly unhearing to the answers to his questions, his head tilted in the way he always had it when listening, yet giving no sense of acknowledgement; Perhaps it was more of a habit to make the patients feel like they could speak without judgmental eyes on them, freedom to talk to something inanimate. Perhaps it was really boredom that made the man seem disinterested, but notes still appeared on the laptop with rapid succession, light tactactactac of the keyboard virtually silent against the bird song and distant conversations.

As silence fell, Erron offered a nod and leaned his elbows on the wooden table, intense eyes dragging from the document on his screen to the living creature before him. A beat or two passed before he spoke again, “I appreciate your sincerity, Mr. Martin, I encounter too few truthful statements within my career lately,” sincerity pushed to the forefront, the sweet words practiced and easy for a silver tongue. Scrutiny didn’t cease as his form leaned first closer to the patient, then back against the backrest of the chair.

“Now,” a beat of a pause, Erron coaxed the softest edge to his voice as he could, “You do still suffer these nightmares daily, no? If I may, could you tell me if there have been any developments to what you remember? It sounds horribly intrusive, but as you’ve gone through some considerable changes lately, I must know, to tweak your treatment plan.” Or not; Morbid curiosity had been what drove Erron to the career he excelled at, and this case was no different. “I also note that you have an amorous entanglement with a fellow patient of mine — Ms. Moore? Has that companionship assisted you with your reintegration here? Forgive me, I do not recall if I asked that you when you first returned.”

The light sounds of the doctor typing notes lulled Finn into a more relaxed state. It was nice to feel like he was being listened to, even if the vulnerable openness was difficult some times. He had spent his first few sessions reassuring himself that Dr. Bennett was there to help. Now that thought came to him easily and helped settle his nerves. In the pauses between the doctor’s words, Finn allowed himself the space to catch his breath and think through his thoughts in a less anxious way. That was easier said then done when Erron began questioning him about the content of his nightmares.

“Sometimes they are still the way they were before.” Finn said after a moment. “Memories... I think. Of being trapped beneath the beams and feeling it all over again. The pain, and the panic...” He swallowed hard. The blue jacket of a guard came into view beside him and he nearly jumped, as his eyes had glazed over into the recollection. “Ah, thanks.” He breathed, taking the glass of water and pitcher. He drank a hearty gulp before continuing. “Recently though, there’s been other images. The room that I stayed in at the other institute... and then it burning, and the faces of the doctors and orderlies...” Finn’s teeth grit together and he set down his glass on the table. “Some nights I just don’t sleep.”

The second question brought a soft furrow to Finn’s brow. It felt strange to recall such painful things and then immediately turn to discussions of Ellie. For a brief moment they blurred together and he saw her face. It was twisted in pain and desperation the way it had been when she’d rushed in on his fight with Casey. The memory made him briefly wince before he managed to separate his thoughts again. “Yes, she’s been wonderful to me.” Finn answered in a gentle tone. “The other patients... some of them grew cold to me during my time away, but not Ellie. She welcomed me back so quickly.” He looked up at Erron and smiled. “She is the only one I’ve really been able to open up to about a lot of this. My scars, and nightmares, and all that. I’m not sure what I’d do without her.”

[thebestofgameofthrones]

[finneganthornewood]

eerronn​:

It took an ungodly amount of effort for Erron to keep the polite smile on his face at the undignified sight before him. A twitch of his eye could be blamed on the less than stellar sleep, and the sensation made the doctor run his fingers over the area. With a blink, icy hues shifted from the patient to the computer screen, something infinitely more interesting. “That is considerate of you, Mr. Martin,” the smile widened a fraction, an appreciation mustered to sharp features as the focus once again set on Finn. Was his mask slipping after all these months? It was not to become a problem, it couldn’t. “I am quite alright, you needn’t worry.”

What was with the endless questions? Fingers tightened around the crystalline glass, the rings around his fingers clinking against the surface along the way. Moving from covering the drink to holding the glass, Erron swirled the drink for a rotation before gesturing, with his free, un-accessorized hand, for Finn to sit. “I was merely enjoying the day, I’d never distance myself from my duties, even if it seems the norm around here. Please, sit.” Even if the request was masked as just that; A request, it was anything but. A command in disguise, the invitation was soft nonetheless, and as Erron waited for his patient to get seated, he twisted around on his seat and grabbed the attention of his nearest guard.

As soon as the blue-clad brute got near enough to open their mouth, the doctor spoke up to silene the youngster, “Do bring Mr. Martin some hydration, yes?” Another command hidden within honeyed timber words, a narrowed gaze pointed, demanding, and it was enough to send the guard scurrying to fulfill his request. The chair creaked beneath the shift of weight, and Erron offered his patient a nod before folding his laptop into its keyboard mode. “I hope you don’t mind, but you look parched,” a sip of the amber liquor found its way to Erron’s lips before he freed his hands to lay over the keyboard of the computer, “And I must say I’m astounded to see you partaking in such strenuous activities; Physical exertion has been proven to have a positive effect on one’s sleep patterns. Has it benefited you any, if I may ask?

There always seemed to be truth to what Erron had to say. Even to the measure of neglect that others faced in the institution. Finn knew that there had to be something amiss in Thornewood. The people around him never seemed to improve. But he was doing well he figured, and Ellie was too. If anyone in this institution was going to help him and tell him the truth, it would be Dr. Bennett. Finn needed his directness. It reminded him of his old fire chief. If the orders were clear, and you kept your head clear, there’d be no mistakes. Finn sat down promptly when the doctor directed him to.

“Thanks.” He nodded. Finn watched the guard rush off to grab a pitcher of water. A fraction of his attention remained on the periphery, waiting for that water to arrive at the table. “Yeah, I am.” Finn nodded. “I guess I lost track of time. Should’ve brought some water with me.” His head was beginning to clear of the rush of endorphins. The morning’s thoughts and fears were returning. Finn bit his lower lip as he tried to suppress them a little while longer. “My sleeping patterns?” The old temptation to lie took hold of him and he resisted. “No, if I’m being honest. Not yet. If you think it’ll help, I’ll keep trying, but lately my nightmares have been worse and I haven’t been sleeping much.”

[eerronn]

Rules, Ben(net)t || OPEN

Untouchable.

It was a hushed title in socialite circles, those which Erron had always known, ever since Canada, ever since he was born. Borders held no power over that principle, the weight of his name now letting him get away with those things most would be ostracized for. Within the strict walls of a mental hospital should’ve been different, his actions looked upon with a judgmental eye as the impeccably suited gentleman sat in the garden with a clear glass of scotch sat by his arm propped against the table, yet he had no intention to abide by the rules held in place for the staff of the place. Icy blue eyes, uncharacteristically fatigued, were glued to the Chromebook folded open before him, a stylus hovering just above the screen until footsteps caught in the wind and made him blinks out of the daze. 

Without turning to the approach, Erron spoke up; “Did I not tell you to leave me be, I already told your colleague —” A pause occurred, the collected man taken aback when no hideous guard uniform greeted him, but someone else entirely. It took only a fraction of a second for surprise to mask the irritation, an apologetic smile appearing on soft lips. The hovering stylus swiftly clicked the sell button on the screen before finding its place in its holder, free hands now settling down on the wooden surface, the other drifting to the crystalline glass of liquor if only as a safety measure for onlookers.

“My apologies, I presumed you to be another one of those overzealous security guards. May I perhaps be of assistance?”

[finneganthornewood]

Running laps in the garden was now a twice daily habit for Finnegan. He tended to rely on his workout routine when his mind was rebelling against him. It was a desperate bid for control. Even if he couldn’t understand what was happening in his head, he always knew there was one thing he had control over. As he rounded the path further out into the estate’s expansive gardens, he saw the familiar form of his therapist sitting at one of the tables in the distance. Finn slowed his pace and jogged up to the older man, stopping a few feet away to lift the bottom of his tank top up to wipe the sweat off of his face. He didn’t know exactly how long he’d been running laps, but he knew he’d started sometime around two in the afternoon. The sun was still in the sky at least, but it was beginning to near the horizon. The clouds were turning the soft amber orange of early evening. Finn glanced down at the alcohol in Dr. Bennett’s glass and wished for a moment that he’d brought something with him to drink. He stood there panting for breath longer than he’d intended to, before finally managing to answer the doctor’s question.

“Oh...hey... no... I just figured.... I’d say hey.” He breathed in intervals. Finn blinked a few times, trying to keep his vision focused on Dr. Bennett. His eyes traveled from the doctor’s face to the scotch and then to the computer. What was he out here doing? He looked back at Erron’s face and noticed the exhaustion behind the man’s eyes. “You alright, doc?” He asked. “How come you’re out here?” He took a step closer, feeling a sudden heaviness in his limbs, and he casually rested his forearms on top of the back of one of the chairs. He pushed his damp hair back. “Getting some distance?”

[finneganthornewood]

elliemoore-thornewood​:

Ellie had been urged to join other patients in the cafeteria, even on the days she struggled to eat. Maybe seeing others healthy relationships with food would encourage her own, or at least make meal times less of a threat. Her plate didn’t hold much, but it was better than nothing at all. Any step forward, no matter how small, was a victory in recovery. 

Relief flooded Ellie’s tightly wound nerves at seeing Finn with an open seat. She leaned over to press a quick kiss to the top of his head before taking a seat. The familiar smell of his brunette waves was an added comfort. Dinnertime would now feel less pressured with Finn around, he knew about her struggles without pushing her actions. “You’re the best dinner company I could’ve asked for.” She replied in a warm tone.

 Ellie’s keen observation took notice of the dark circles getting worse under Finn’s eyes by the day. She was concerned, but not sure how to bring it up. After a moment of debating she spoke up gently. “You look tired today, not sleep well?” She asked with furrowed brows. 

The appearance of his girlfriend brought a sudden burst of energy to Finn’s otherwise tired features. He smiled up at her and took in the sight of her lovely light chestnut hair and kind eyes. “Hey beautiful.” He smiled, “Likewise. This is a wonderful surprise.” His eyes briefly glanced down to see what she was eating, but he tried not to let it be noticeable. He let his gaze naturally travel further down to his own plate of food as he took a bite. The slight silence left an opening and he felt a small pit form in his stomach when Ellie brought up his appearance. It was a blessing and a burden to them both, he thought, that there was no longer any semblance of secrets between them. They’d known each other too long and through enough periods of ups and downs. The signs, once subtle and easily hidden, were as recognizable as a change in hair style, or any shift in an otherwise familiar face. 

“Yeah, haven’t slept well the last few days.” He admitted with a timid shrug. “It feels a bit like it did when I first got here. The nightmares have been coming back, and there’s... I guess a sense of fear following me around.” He had been doing well before he’d gotten sent off to the Brotman Institute, or so he’d thought. And he’d tried to follow every piece of guidance given to him by his new therapist. Still, things seemed heavier lately. He looked back up at Ellie. “Dr. Bennett has been having me recollect everything in detail... a lot of detail. Memories, and my dreams, and things I’ve imagined about the fire...” His brows furrowed and he trailed off as if he’d lost his train of thought. The look of deep confusion remained and Finn froze in place. His mind was churning, but nothing was coming to him. What was he just saying? He’d been thinking about the fire... but which fire? It had to be the one in New York. He wasn’t at the Brotman Institute fire... right? Was he though? He stared down at the table and tried to force his mind to move. He’d been quiet too long. This was awkward. “S-sorry,” He cleared his throat. “I forgot what I was saying.”

[littlemusings]

[photo credit]

[finneganthornewood]

@elliemoore-thornewood

[finneganthornewood]

cameron-malkin​:

The third coffee of the day had begun to wreak havoc within Cameron’s system, his anxiety-ridden mind relying on any form of vices to stir up the motivation to enter the dining hall. Knees bounced with frantic, untamable energy and the voice of his therapist haunting his thoughts, ‘You need to put yourself out there. Start small, just a light-hearted chat with someone.’

“Fuck.” The profanity slipped between clenched teeth, knuckles whitening as they gripped around the plate, mentally preparing himself to follow the therapist’s advice. Combat boots pulled a reluctant patient through the threshold, oceanic hues searching for a seat. As blue waves cast over to a familiar face, Cameron pushed past the grimace forming and walked towards his roommate. A sarcastic remark sat on the tip of his tongue as Finn offered out the seat, swallowing down the urge to open his mouth and unleash the harsh reply desperate to escape, Cameron nodded his head politely before throwing himself into the chair and hunching over the table. “Thanks,” Came his muttered reply. Prodding his food around with a fork with heavy intent focused on his plate, Cameron refused to maintain eye contact with the other, uncomfortable with the situation he’d forced himself into. 

“How– uh, how you been?” Cameron dropped his fork, fingers reaching out to wrap a hand around his fourth cup of coffee, bringing it to his lips and blowing at the hot surface before taking a needed sip. 

Cameron seemed moody and a bit distracted, but Finn had slowly grown used to this side of his roommate. The two of them had been like oil and water from the moment Finn had returned to Thornewood, but lately thing had been getting easier. He wasn’t entirely sure where the change was coming from, but he would take whatever peace he could get. 

“Been alright.” Finn shrugged. “Just trying to keep my head down I guess.” He noticed Cameron’s lack of appetite and tried not to think too hard about it, or how much it reminded him of Ellie. Finn took a bite of his food and tried to figure out how to carry a conversation with Cameron when it wasn’t fueled by venom and barely-veiled anger issues. “How’ve things been with you? And-uh- Lex?” He lifted his tired eyes up to Cameron’s. The hope lingered that Cameron wouldn’t snap and that this could stay civil. It would be nice to actually have an ally like Cameron. 

[thornewood-confessions]

DRAMA DUMP: Fighter Fighter or Fire Starter?

❝Did you hear about the fire at the Brotman Institute?❞

❝No survivors…except one.❞

[musingisms]

“…and I am out with lanterns, looking for myself.”

— Dickinson, Emily. The Letters of Emily Dickinson.  (via wordsnquotes)

[finneganthornewood]

An Evening’s Conversation

Finn was trying his best. That perhaps truer now than it had ever been. When he’d first arrived at Thornewood, Finn had been filled with a sense of resistance. He’d felt trapped, and eager to be gone from the place. When he’d been taken away to the Brotman Institute, however, he’d realized just how accustomed he’d grown to Thornewood. Now, out of fear that he might be sent away again, Finn had thrown himself headlong into every effort to remain at the hospital. He followed his therapist’s instructions readily, and was trying to improve his bruised relationships with the other patients. 

It was in light of the second aim that he was sitting in the cafeteria, slowly enjoying his dinner and smiling at people walking by. He wanted to broadcast his newfound efforts. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t been sleeping well lately and that the hint of dark circles hung beneath his eyes. He wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of his progress. “Hey! That seat’s open.” Finn nodded toward the seat across from him at the table. “If you want dinner company, I mean.” He added with a soft shrug and a smile. “I just got here.”

[cameron-malkin]

29 || Open starter

Rumours circulating Cameron’s arrival staved off any unwanted visitors initially, the most daring of strangers not opting for more than a look at the then-new patient and after four birthdays in confinement passed without incident with not one candle-lit piece of cake presented to him, he’d grown accustomed to July 26th morphing into just another day. He preferred it that way, this lack of representation the only acceptable reminder of him. In a way, he admired the consistency. 

Twenty-nine would be different. Already, there was a palpable tension as the hallways were abuzz with activity, electricity coursing through the air. Today felt different…people were looking at him. Chest tightening with anxiety, the yellow patient shouldered prolonged stares from others, contended by the quiet self-assurance of insanity. No one knows, he reminded himself, staving off the feeling of discomfort settling within him. Choosing to distract himself and awaken a sleep-deprived mind, heavy hands clumsily brewed a cup of coffee. A splash of hot liquid escaped his cup, singeing his knuckle as a wince of pain crossed tired features. Bringing the blistering skin to his lips, Cameron soothed its ache before spinning on his heels to catch someone in his peripheral. Anger awakened the beast within, growing anxiety and annoyance building to a deafening crescendo. Sharp teeth flashed in a growl, jaw clenching as harsh words ripped through his throat, “The fuck’re you lookin’ at?”

[finneganthornewood]

Usually it took a bit more to get a rise out of Cameron. Today it seemed that it only took proximity. Finn had been walking a few steps behind the other man, paying attention only to the book in his hand. His roommate’s sudden pause jolted Finn and cause him to look up just in time to catch the flash of anger. The threat glinted off of Cameron’s clenched teeth. “Just my book.” Finn retorted, holding up the volume that was now closed around one finger to keep his place in it. “What’s got you in such a mood?”