shadoetry

welcome to my chaotic mind musings and poems instagram @shadoetry

[shadoetry]

my thoughts are the type of crisscrossed cosmic chaos I imagine astronomers would be fascinated to make sense of

shadoetry

[shadoetry]

Just as all water

somehow

finds its way home

to the sea,

I too

always find my way

home

into your arms.

shadoetry

[metamorphesque]

"First Light", Viggo Mortensen

[shadoetry]

The truth is

I can

Stand alone

Grow alone

Be alone

But I do not want

To have to

L.E. Bowman

[shadoetry]

you’re just searching for what you give

and that’s the hardest part

finding a heart that matches your own

r.h. Sin

[petaltexturedskies]

Virginia Woolf, The Years

[shadoetry]

Hooked

such ease with which we devour

moments of dalliance dangled

squirming delightfully to their tune

ensnared by despotic promises

the sweet lure pierces us as we partake

the mangled memories of tenderness

entangle our senses, enticing

drag us staggering towards damnation

bloody parting of parched longing lips

welcomes the poisonous dosage

with surety in such a beatific smile

no danger can be hidden

we hardly notice a quirk of contempt

barely glimpsing a pearly sharp tip

before being cruelly torn asunder

each lash of their tongue flays

shudders and shutters our mind

yet we rationalize endurance

will return us to that veiled tranquility

with our disingenuous lover

brokering an unsteady peace

and they’ll name their lurking intent

as having the best of intentions

never mind that their compromise

is always conditional on your loss

and their accountability warped

until you find yourself desperate

threading your mangled spirit

to mend these rifts in that idyllic image

of what could have should have been

- shadoetry

[shadoetry]

tell me everything you think no one wants to hear

[shadoetry]

I want so much

to be more than clay

moulded with a purpose

by some learned potter

shattered by imperfection

when receiving permanent form

yet as clay I continue

to pour myself into hands

that can’t hold me

steady enough for a trinket

let alone shape a masterful work

of this muddy substance of life

- shadoetry

[shadoetry]

“You have always approached everything terrible trustfully. You have wanted to pet every monster.”

- Friedrich Nietzsche

[shadoetry]

Love is not everything

we are too used to tolerance so

we dilute ourselves without realizing as

we accommodate but call it compromise

we endure feeling misunderstood and

we accept sufferance towards our passion

we congratulate ourselves on their loyalty

we wonder our luck to have their respect

we mistake agreement for compatibility

we stay for potential yet uncovered

we trust intention disregarding reality

we value familiar comfort over growth

we settle for love

and fool ourselves that this is everything

- shadoetry

[shadoetry]

You think attention is love

and that’s why you suffer

so deeply.

unknown

[shadoetry]

We all want more time

I am standing in the desert

with a fork in my hand

trying desperately to scoop

something up from the sand

a shattered hourglass lies

abandoned at my feet,

its shimmering granules spilled

into this drought-stricken sea

and I watch with melancholy thoughts

as they trickle through the tines

a handful of silver cannot capture

a single grain of time

- shadoetry

[shadoetry]

When Ranata Suzuki said “whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way back to you // quite simply because I cannot let go” and Mona Simpson said “I knew I would hate my best memory because it would prove that people could fake love or that love could end or worst of all, love was not powerful enough to change a life” I remembered why I was terrified of love.

Ranata Suzuki / Mona Simpson

[shadoetry]

- the fearful beauty of losing control

[shadoetry]

when it comes

to art

it’s important

not to hide

the madness.

- atticus

[shadoetry]

I’m at this point in my life where I’m doing some serious work to grow as a person and improve my mental state and life, and I just honestly don’t have the time or energy to invest in those people who only care about an easy relationship or what I can give them and refuse to be an uplifting and positive presence in my life. And yes, that means I’ll lose some friends…but part of getting to where you are trying to go has to be letting go of the things and people trying to tie you down to a version of yourself you’ve outgrown. Even good people are sometimes no longer good friends and it’s ok to admit that to yourself and not be afraid to look for people that will take the time to really see you, know you, and be excited for your journey to be the fullest version of yourself.

[shadoetry]

it’s hard to grow

even harder to bloom

sometimes you must employ

the wisdom of a gardener, to prune

- shadoetry