saddening serenity.

ada beldam • 20 • daughter of the mother mother [monsters] live inside our souls. waiting to come A L I V E. turning our HEARTS cold, my blood is black. if i could take it back... if i could...

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i don't understand what she's saying to me when she says we can love, but i want to understand. i'm so happy that she's able to feel and overcome what beldams are supposed to be. if anyone deserves happiness, it's her.

“Little sister, I promise you’ll find a way!”

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✧—* » ( @hcliix said: ❛❛ I’m indifferent to cheerios. ❜❜ )

“Indifferent as in ‘I have better cereal to be eating’ or indifferent as in ‘I can’t care about anything, especially cereal’?” she asked, trying to tease her little sister. She even made a playful display of eating a spoonful of the cereal.

[taems]

As if it’s nothing You just pass me by

[yippee-ki-yoyo]

[realjackoconnell]

MOODBOARD ☆ FLOWER-BANDAGED WOUNDS

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ITHACA WHITE:

ithaca preferred the library when it was the middle of the night and most people weren’t around. she had her own little corner that she tucked herself into where the lighting was dim and she could read to her heart’s content. most of the time, people didn’t bother her. that was what she counted on, but as soon as she heard the sound of footsteps, she hoped that it was just the librarian and muttered, “can’t i be gloomy and alone in peace?”

Ada had taken a few night shifts at the library to prepare for inventory. It was her job to make sure that the books were organized and that there wasn’t any lying around so that it all could be counted properly. Something about the summer made people lazier, so she was stuck with a lot to put away. Ada squeaked when she saw a newer face hiding away in a corner. “I would but some of the books I need to put away are in this corner. It’ll be a while. I’ve got about a dozen books in this section--” She then motioned to the cart she had trailing behind her, the wheels silent on the carpet. “I’ll be sure not to disrupt the peace.”

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ADELAIDE LOVAT:

“Not if you’re being honest. I can respect honesty.” she replied. If Addie was anything it was bold which had made her have a tough skin. 

“Well, okay,” Ada breathed out. She still brought her soft pink notebook to her face, covering her mouth. “You were being a bit bitchy but I still would’ve been nice to you-- not so sure about other people, though,” she squeaked.

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JACINTA SUHN:

( @shecanonlycopy said  ❝ one of the things that makes me who i am is the loyalty i have to people i hold close to my heart. ❞ )

“good,” jacinta said. “that’s something you should hold onto. being loyal is a good thing, isn’t it?”

Ada nodded, her eyes downcast. She gave a small smile. However, it faltered. “What if... someone who shouldn’t be close to my heart... is?” she started. “Is being loyal a good thing then?”

[determinate]

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Did that sound bitchy? (Addie lol!!)

MY SMOL BEB IS A LITTLE NERVOUS WRECK IN THIS POST HERE LET’S SEE HOW THIS MEETING GOES HUHUHU

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✧—* » ( @addiexlovat said: “Did that sound bitchy?” )

Ada laughed, the sound being somewhere in between nervousness and sheepishness. “I mean-- you pointed it out and--” she started, beginning to fidget. “I’m stuck. Would you be mad if I agreed with you?”

[determinate]

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“what? what are you going to do?” ( Zorro )

AUGUST MY BB BOO <333333 THE POST IS RIGHT HERE!!!!

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 ✧—* » ( @zorrawr said: “What? What are you going to do?” )

Ada blinked multiple times before she finally looked up at the other person. “What am I going to do... with what?” she asked. She was just reading. What could she have been doing?

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HELIX BELDAM:

helix didn’t like to see her sister scared. she forced herself to look away, focusing on her nails rather than ada’s face. perhaps if this were a year or so ago, she would have believed her whole-heartedly, because she always had. she’d been protected by her small world that had only three other people inside of it, and those three people could do no wrong. now she knew better.

“and how do you know i haven’t done anything that a monster would? i haven’t seen you in a year and a half at least. and you’ve clearly been busy.” she gestured to the cracks on ada’s face before looking down again. “but what’s the point in trying to be good when people’s opinions of you won’t change?” she frowned, tugging on her fingers as though they’d wronged her in some way. “and why did no one tell me?”

Ada took offense to the gesture that Helix made. Her bottom lip trembled. She refused to let her fingers ghost over the cracks of her face. She was going to remember things she didn’t want to remember. That she couldn’t afford to recall. She hated herself already-- why remind herself of more reasons that she wasn’t as good as she wanted to be? “I don’t,” Ada said firmly, though her bottom lip still trembled and her hands still shook. “I don’t know if you haven’t done anything a monster would. But, I’ve done things and so has Zaire... and so has SO MANY other people. What makes a monster a monster is that they ONLY do those kinds of things. I haven’t ONLY been a monster.” 

The small beldam sniffled. She didn’t shed any tears but she could feel the familiar sting of them watering her tear ducts. Her body was threatening to cry. “There’s no point if you look at it that way. I’m trying to be good because of ME. I want to be safe, I want to be happy. I can only get those things if I’m good...” She let out a soft huff at the last question. She wasn’t sure how to answer it. “Tell you what the outside world was like? Tell you that Mama was truly awful? Tell you that, by nature’s law, we are monsters? What did no one tell you?”

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❛ You said you wanted to talk? ❜ - Ronnie

NICOLE BBBBBBBBBBBB HOW YOU DOING I CAN FINALLY POST THESE WHADDUP SO HAVE THESE TWO AND THEIR POST RIGHT HERE!!!!

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✧—* » ( @wannabe-cowboy-ronnie said:  ❛ You said you wanted to talk? ❜ )

Ada blinked, a little confused by the question, before melting into a reassuring smile. “Oh! Right, right, right,” Ada muttered sheepishly, “I just wanted to see how you were doing after everything. It’s good to check up on people you care about, you know? It’s nothing too big or concerning!”