Change pronouns as needed.
“You gotta dress for the job you want, not the job you have, which is no job.”
“So…. do children still like marbles or… uhh…”
“Huh, well I can’t believe THAT was your best plan.”
“This is because those children made fun of you, isn’t it?”
“I’m gonna be an explorer. I’m gonna see the world! I’m gonna eat. a. hamburger.”
“What? I was gonna give it back!”
“Lying, it’s the responsible thing to do.”
“Nothing cool about walking under buzzsaws.”
“Maybe I could just hire some family. Then they’d have to listen to me.”
“Treasure is the greatest treasure of all, that’s why it’s called treasure.”
“How did someone so brilliant raise such morons?”
“I’m gonna break every bone in her body. Or just tie her up. We’ll see how it plays out.”
“There’s more to money than just money!”
“Shut up everyone, I’ve done something brilliant!”
“Maybe we shouldn’t keep taunting them?”
“He’s bad at most things.”
“Everyone could use a lesson on chainsaw safety.”
“We can’t NOT go in at this point.”
“I’m TOTALLY gonna sacrifice myself in the name of the revolution.”
“If you’re gonna vandalize at least do it right.”
“Hey, you know what we should talk about? Another subject.”
“Leave her and we’ll be better off.”
“Wait, is that a neon hot dog!?”
“Show me everything, especially the stuff you’re not supposed to!”
“You’ve never had the common sense to give up before, why start now!?”
“I’ll pay for that in three years, I am very sorry.”
“I like how much you like me, that shows real smarts.”
“You can’t open the lock, can you?”
“He talks the way I wanna live!”
“As long as you can talk, you can talk your way out.”
“Just because it’s a myth doesn’t mean it’s not true.”
“I think that would technically be more falling than sledding.”
“Ah, come on, a little lightning never killed anyone.”
“Better safe than… whatever the opposite of safe is.”
“Okay, stop assuming I know things. Like, baseline, assume I know nothing.”
“I’m through with adventure! Someone always gets hurt!”
“It’s so adorable, I just want to SLAY IT!”
“Real heroes don’t need high-tech special effects or basic safety precautions.”
“Even if you try to be better there’s always someone better than you.”
“I suggest you hold very, very still.”
“Looks like the only way to survive is to crash.”
“___. What a stupid name.”
“I’ve never been to a sport before.”
“Not everything is a life lesson!”
“If I don’t come back, tell my story!”
“Stop bonding, this is a crime scene!”
“Doing the right thing stinks.”
“Oh no, I’m not as good as I thought I was!”
“ Dental hygiene can wait!”
“ They’d turn on you in an instant if they knew what you really are.”
“You’re being the worst fool of all; a sentimental fool.”
“ I wouldn’t steal from children. Unless they had something I really wanted, or I was bored, or-”
“You used to be so much more fun.”
“Your heartless criticism can’t deny my dream of being shamelessly spoiled!”
“You seem stressed. Come with me!”
“Let’s never not fight again!”
“And now we can steal it from her for free!”
“You know, most kids wouldn’t get this excited about impending doom.”
“How are you still functioning?”
“I’m like a super mega rubber ball of death!”
“All the money’s on fire!”
“Did you say lunch, I heard lunch, that’s lunch everybody!”
“You wanted to help people, right? Get to it, hero.”
“I’m not yelling, I’m whispering harshly!”
“Oh! Let’s take a blood oath!”
“They’ll turn on you, call you a monster.”
“Go take that seat and stay put before something else goes wrong!”
“Great, now everybody pays attention to me.”
“How long have you been there watching me?”
“Greed beats fear every time.”
“Everything could be on fire!”
“I’m trying to save your life. Now come back here or I will end it!”
“Well, you’ve successfully pushed your family and everyone else who cared about you away.”
“Grunts lift, leaders stabilize.”
“Honestly, it’s embarrassing how pathetic you were.”
“You aren’t my family, you are nothing.”
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
germansingergirl
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
areudirty
