my name is meat obelisk, but please call me ham @shimaiitsoh - Tumblr Blog

hello my name is jos. i blog about all kinds of stuff including books and culture.

i'm aro/ace and aplatonic

i am 23 years old minors DNI

i'm a man at family events and nothing in my free time

but most of all i'm a hater

as for my tags,

#my art, #my ocs, #my life literature, orchestra, music theory, internet archives

low quality image of me bc idk. lots of animals died at work yesterday & i sped run compassion fatigue

#crime and punishment #rodion romanovich raskolnikov #wip

unusual-suspects

x

crazysodomite

its time for me to make a relatable lgbt comic for pride month

crazysodomite

funkyfeefee

Her name is Fatima Birnawi, this is her btw:

sorry everyone i think my autism should've been diagnosed as schizoid personality 👎

#i felt no gratification from socializing for a long time #and when i did it always felt threatening like legitimate danger #so all this effort trying to fix myself wasnt like a social deficiet actually #that being said i always wanted to be a kind or good friend #but i wont be participating in a lot bc it's making it worse #by it i mean making me more paranoid sometimes agressive the harder i try #i never felt insecure to be an avoident personality i just couldn't find any pleasure in recieving social praise or validation #it doesnt even feel like “masking” that i can take it off when i am alone and decompress #it feels like my body is entirely a human mask thing and other people see it sometimes #and ig it could be mistaken for “narcasism” which it has been before #i tried 😓#it doesnt take away from the community based beliefs #i believe in a world where people can survive without forming a social network

so there is a guy, my neighbor and his wife and they are kind of obsessed w/me like they stop me a lot and walk by my window and house multiple times a day and my first encounter with the man he showed me a dead baby pigeon by lifting it off the ground with his bear hands they told me to watch out tht the kids will steal from me, but his wife stares at me really... angrily a lot........ and lurks around my window

#but idk i started seeing dead birds a lot and i thought the feral cats were killing them #but they were like descrated in an unnatural way #like extremely graphic and unmauled i will spare you the details but i kept finding them #and they have weird stuff on their patio #like idk how to say it demon looking stuff and someone painted like demon stuff on the corner store when i passed by it #and they repainted over it but i started to get really scared and i began wondering why they take joy in like hyper fixating on me #and watching me and like scaring me all the time when they can #like they keep telling me scary shit

got a job time, is it time to put the psychosis away? ahahahahahaha

#/ lh... / j........#anyway i will be an adoptions counselor now

this agitation. is so severe. i partcularly hate every human body and why it was made tht way. there is maybe a beauty in nothing sometimes. other times just complete silence. there will never come a time where i magically "heal" and like things and like bodies, or fix my attitude. just existing and having to be "fixed" and corrected time and time again makes it worse. piles onto the trauma. on and on.

#i believe in a human soul and a soul and consciousness #but i want to believe in a spirit without having a body to begin with. without being on this plane #and that they are kind #and ever lasting and massive beyond comprehension

im realizing the reason most of you are so... messed up. is because you grew up in christian cults. like none of you overcame the abuse, you just became a gay incel instead. a creep. a loser.

despazito

plastiboo

sentimentalfoolz

liking raskolnikov hater posts and raskolnikov advocate posts because anyone who cares enough about rodya to post about it is a friend in my book

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my name is meat obelisk, but please call me ham