blindness on valentine's ;
jjxmirae:
Valentine’s wasn’t a day that Mirae particularly enjoyed. The reason behind this wasn’t only because she believed that love needed to be shared every single day, but also because this was the day that she was constantly reminded of the love she had lost a long time ago, a wound that never completely healed and a scar that didn’t have the strength to fade with time. All of this was her fault because despite being physically away from her, he was never away from her heart. Shin was the name marked on it, until death do us part.
Nonetheless, tonight had been a night of surprises. He caught her off guard for sitting down on the other chair at her table, when Mirae was supposed to expect someone else, then he declared himself the love of her life, something that she already knew because her heart had already recognized this many years ago, and now, Shin was agreeing at how much pointless was for her to search for a love as similar or that could overcome theirs. Nothing of this was possible, reason why she wasn’t even trying. However, his words were only making her even more confused. Didn’t he say that she shouldn’t expect less than what they had? Didn’t Shin say that she couldn’t settle for less? Then what was he waiting from her? Should she wait for him, someone who would never come back to her? Mirae didn’t even know if she could offer her heart to him ever again.
Their story certainly wasn’t an easy one but there was a part of her heart that was sincerely relieved by this because if it was, then it wouldn’t have the same meaning. Their love had been a very special one and everything about it had been life changing for her. Mirae learned how to love with the man with her, a love that she wasn’t able to find again. Dates happened in the last ten years and even a relationship was part of her life, but nothing could be compared to what she had with Shin. This was exactly why Mirae found herself startled again at his words, frowning slightly for a moment, even if there was only confusion inside of her eyes. What was this supposed to mean?
To Mirae, logic always tended to overcome instinct, but this never happened when she was in Shin’s presence. Unconsciously or not, he had the ability of making her completely lose her mind. There was no way around this because she always ended up feeling instead of thinking when he was with her. This was something impossible to control. Perhaps later, Mirae would question herself about this carefully and do her best at finding a billion of reasons to why Shin wanted to spend time with her but for now, she really didn’t want to overthink any of this as confusion naturally faded from her eyes and the corners of her lips curved into a small smile. ❝I don’t have your number.❞ Mirae reminded him. ❝Should I knock at your door whenever I want to spend time with you?❞ Her tone had an edge of teasing, but there was so much seriousness into it too.
Mirae nodded her head in understanding at his next words, already suspecting this was what he was going to say. She truly didn’t expect him to change his work habits only because she wanted him to be more careful. This was something that she could actually relate. Wouldn’t she risk her life to save others? Possibly. Therefore, Mirae honestly didn’t think it was fair for her to request something like this from him. ❝I understand.❞ She mumbled with some sadness on her tone, even though she didn’t elaborate her thoughts, choosing to keep them to herself instead. His hand moved and she naturally followed his actions, looking up at him in surprise. Mirae’s eyes stayed on his for a moment, thinking about reaching for his hand but feeling hesitating about this too. However, there was nothing smart about her when it comes to Ryu Shin. This was exactly why Mirae slowly extended her hand on the table, fingers naturally reaching for his hand.
He smiled at her words since what she pointed out to be a problem, had a very easy solution. “I’ll write it down for you, so you can call whenever you want. Heck, I’ll even give you the code to my door so you don’t even have to knock” And maybe he would regret saying that later because it meant she could come whenever she wanted, and to Shin that would be an issue. But if he was honest, he had to admit that ever since he saw her again, his life got on hold, and no one had visited his apartment. Girls stopped coming, he stopped looking for them, and damn, he was living like a monk.
Of course he knew that eventually that behavior needed to stop, that he would need someone by his side, but how could he think of that when the only woman he wanted was the one sitting in front of him? Sex was fun, but with her.... with her it changed completely and he wasn’t sure if anyone would be up to his expectations. Since well, basically all of his expectations were having her by his side.
Which was absolutely crazy!
He didn’t recognize himself and even when he claimed to be pushing his thoughts for later, it seemed like later never came. No matter how many stupid things he said, once he was alone he didn’t regret anything, he didn’t think twice about anything, he did not question his behavior and acts even when he knew he was going nuts. Maybe he needed an intervention, maybe he should ask Kyuhan to punch him in the face.
“Do you, really?” He asked, unsure of what he was truly asking. Was he asking her if she was okay with what he did? If she would never ask him to stop? If it wouldn’t be a trouble for them? Was he really asking if she would be okay with being with someone who had such a dangerous work? Was he even asking her to be with him? Ryu Shin was a confusing man, he knew that, but in that moment no one was as confused as he was.
Her hand was on his and his fingers laced with hers, he smiled, not able to hide it. If anyone looked at them they would think they were a couple in love, and Shin had to think about it for a second. Was he still in love with her? The question made him smile, since the answer was another question. Had he ever stopped loving her?
