Shit Books Say

Short quotes from books that made me go, "Huh?"

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"This cancer business," he said, "does anybody know if it's contagious?"

Dammit Favell, I think it's safe to say you probably won't catch uterine cancer.

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 375.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"Just the sort of thing a Communist would do."

Communists believed in the radical overthrow of capitalism and that things should sink in water.

​ Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 361.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"Their evening routine upset. All these foolish inconsequent threads hanging upon one another, because Maxim had killed Rebecca."

If you’re going to cover up a murder, you might be late to dinner once or twice.

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 342.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

“’Yes, they gave us very good curry in Singapore,’ he said.”

​We stole their country, and their curry! Ha, it's good to be a British colonizing jerkface!

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 300.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"She's got the three things that matter in a wife," she told me: "breeding, brains and beauty."

That is a longer list than I would have expected given the time and society.

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 276.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"'The rocks had battered her to bits, you know,' she whispered, 'her beautiful face unrecognizable, and both arms gone."

If he even had one arm to go on, that would be something, but it could have been anyone without arms at that point. How do you tell?

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 173.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"Her cottage is generally a shambles and smells of boiled cabbage."

Well your wife is armless and dead and your housemaid is creepy, Maxim.

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 146.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"No, my underclothes were more serious than that."

I think it would really suck to have your underclothes discussed in committee.

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 139.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"A black figure stood waiting for me at the head of the stairs, the hollow eyes watching me intently from the white skull's face."

I think this Mrs. Danvers might be a bad egg.

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 71.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"And I should make violent love to you behind a palm tree."

The violentest love happens behind palm trees.

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca.” Harper, 2006, page 54.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"Like old ladies caugh at their ablutions..."

So tuberculosis or ablution?

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca.” Harper, 2006, page 6.

[shitbookssay]

Rebecca

"'As long as you don't black your face and pretend to be a monkey I don't mind what you do,' said Maxim."

That request is way too specific to not have happened before.

Daphne Du Maurier, "Rebecca." Harper, 2006, page 199.

[shitbookssay]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

"As for Pierre Gringoire, he succeeded in saving the goat, and he achieved some success as a tragic author."

Always bet on goat.

Victor Hugo, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Barnes & Noble Classics, 2008, page 483.

[shitbookssay]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

"’Can women swim?’ said the soldier.”

Was this something people genuinely didn't know?

Victor Hugo, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Barnes & Noble Classics, 2008, page 466.

[shitbookssay]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

"France! France! Hew down the clodpolls! Chateaupers to the rescue! Provosty! Provosty!"

If you say so. Provosty. Indeed.

Victor Hugo, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Barnes & Noble Classics, 2008, page 441. 

[shitbookssay]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

"The thunderbolts of God never strike a lettuce."

I guess lettuce is a very pious vegetable.

Victor Hugo, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Barnes & Noble Classics, 2008, page 428.

[shitbookssay]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

"They did hang a sow last month. The hangman likes that; he eats the animal afterwards."

I think we've solved the mystery of so many delicious animals being complicit in witchcraft.

Victor Hugo, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Barnes & Noble Classics, 2008, page 382.