Shit Cairns Says

A compilation of quotes, queries and qualms output from the demented mind of the connoisseur of distraction Daniel Cairns.

[shitcairnssays]

Yeah but it's different for him, he's a leprechaun

@crozbow about driving safety regulations

[shitcairnssays]

Their parents never told them not to eat it. That's how sharks work I assume.

@crozbow on shark nutrition and parenting habits

[shitcairnssays]

"oh they ate the moon"

@fujiquacki on marriage

[shitcairnssays]

A nanometer is a nano of a metre

@thedxrksoul on small measurements

[shitcairnssays]

I've been single for the best part of five years and not once have I felt the need to stick my dick in a bag of wet bread.

sut1 on Dylan saying bags of wet bread is better than loneliness

[shitcairnssays]

Need me milky

@fujiquacki on confectionery items

[shitcairnssays]

"Space is just an ocean."

-@fujiquacki on the falcon heavy rocket launch

[shitcairnssays]

"A pig is just a smaller ocean"

-@fujiquacki on the subject of serial killers

[shitcairnssays]

I was trying to adjust her moustache

@crozbow on his girlfriend

[shitcairnssays]

Just split it into nibbles

Nathan on Binary to Hexadecimal conversions

[shitcairnssays]

Women are all snakes with tits.

Daniel Cairns on Relationships.

[shitcairnssays]

I could survive any genocide.

Daniel Cairns on Prepping.

[shitcairnssays]

"It's not creepy if you don't diddle them."

Cairns on meeting friends.

[shitcairnssays]

"I want Norman Reedus to vore me."

@fujiquacki

[shitcairnssays]

Girls can rub one out whenever they want

Daniel Cairns on puberty and sexual development

[shitcairnssays]

The Lib Dems are just the Conservative's smurf account

Daniel Cairns on the 2010-2015 Liberal Democrat/Conservative Party Coalition Government

[shitcairnssays]

"She's like a whore for art and stuff. She sucks art's dick."

-Cairns on @daisukenojo-biito