SHIT INTERPOL NEVER SAYS

The lost conversations between the members of Interpol (the 1997 post-punk revival indie rock band from NYC).

[shitinterpolneversays]

Happy belated 1st bday to my blog!

I made my first post on January 22, 2021, and it's been one year and a week since I've started this whole thing. Didn't think I would keep going on with the blog. I just made it on a whim because I had some jokes in my head I wanted to get out, but I'm still going!

I'm not as active, but since Interpol started to announce tour dates and tease new stuff about the seventh LP, there'll be lots of new content! Maybe a post here or there, but I'll try my best. Here's to one year!

[shitinterpolneversays]

“Shit, we’re stuck in here. Our gig’s in five.”

“Hey kitty, my drumsticks are that bag over there. Think you can play Untitled while we try to get out?”

[shitinterpolneversays]

I had seven faces

Thought I knew which one to wear

NYC // Turn On The Bright Lights

We should take a trip now to see new places I'm sick of this town, I see my face has changed

SAY HELLO TO THE ANGELS // Turn On The Bright Lights

Won’t seek replacements, my ballerina

There’s many faces in my gallery

NUMBER 10 // Marauder

[shitinterpolneversays]

Daphne, symmetry, you can't help but admire what a choice room this used to be

PRECIPITATE // Interpol EP

The ebb and flow just reflects the infinite symmetry

THE WEEKEND // A Fine Mess

[shitinterpolneversays]

“I’m a big fan of your music, Paul! Can we take a pic?”

“Daniel…I think you hit your head pretty hard on stage, man. You really gotta stop jumping all over the place.”

[shitinterpolneversays]

"Draw me like one of your French girls."

[shitinterpolneversays]

"And you guys thought I was weird for wearing boots. Good luck with those blisters on our way outta this forest. That's what you get for not bringing me to Vans with y'all."

[shitinterpolneversays]

I'm still enjoying this, that's why I made a mess 

PRECIPITATE // Interpol EP

Somehow, baby, we’ll beat this mess 

SPECIALIST // Interpol EP

You and me make a fine mess

FINE MESS // A Fine Mess

[shitinterpolneversays]

"Excuse me, have you seen these three missing idiots? They ditched me after the interviewer said we sound like Joy Division."

[shitinterpolneversays]

Interpol posing for a photoshoot.

“Don’t. Move.”

“Yeah, Paul, I know how pictures work.”

“No, this canine can fucking bite. Get him off me, man.”

[shitinterpolneversays]

I'm subtle like a lion's cage Such a cautious display

NOT EVEN JAIL // Antics

Well I see you as you take your pride, my lioness Your defenses seem wise, I cannot press And attentions are demise, my lioness Can't you hurt it some, I think I hurt it

PACE IS THE TRICK // Our Love to Admire

[shitinterpolneversays]

i just found your account and its so cute and funny?? im sorry you get so much hate, ur clearly having a good time and its so annoying seeing people trying to ruin that. keep doing ur thing!!! <3

Thank you so much, anon! You’re so sweet. It’s quite gloomy where I live, and your lovely message brightened up my day. I’m really glad there are people out there that enjoy my blog and my little jokes. :)

[shitinterpolneversays]

“Did the crew come back with our pants from the dry cleaners yet?”

[shitinterpolneversays]

At an interview.

“Hello Daniel! Thanks for stopping by to have a little chat with us.”

“Glad to be here...”

“Um...anyway, about the departure of your bassist—”

“I can sense him...”

[shitinterpolneversays]

Your hair is so pretty and red

SAY HELLO TO THE ANGELS // Turn on the Bright Lights

Oh, but hold it still, darling, your hair so pretty

NOT EVEN JAIL // Antics

[shitinterpolneversays]

cool now you're just rehashing jokes from older, funnier tumblrs and also clearly don't understand what a pun is

I made this blog to put my Interpol jokes in since they didn't fit with the theme of my other blog. I admit in the tags of my posts if it's an old joke, like #reblog from my old blog because i was funnier back then, which you've probably seen on a few posts. I guess the sarcasm doesn't seem to register? But, it's nice that you said that my old jokes were funnier because, back then, I felt like they weren't even remotely funny!

Jokes are a weird thing. It's a hit or miss. I'm not a professional comedy writer by any means, so everything I make is amateur and the best I can do is get an eye roll. There are (many) days when I have the best joke ever, and then when I write it out, it's the lamest thing that my brain made up. I too wish to spit out A1 puns on the spot, but I just gotta make up something and move on. I'm a somewhat new blog who hasn't done this before, so I'm still growing. I'm not expecting to become the number one Interpol joke blog on Tumblr, but gotta keep looking forward.

[shitinterpolneversays]

“Daniel, look here!”

“Look at you!”

"Wait, Paul, is that a picture of your dic-"

"Uh, you didn't see anything. Here's the pic I took."

"Wow, I think I somehow predicted the future in that one."