No-context quotes

Jasper, 20 This serves as a compilation of all of the stupid, funny, and horrible things said by myself or my boyfriend that get stupider, funnier, or more horrible with no context.

[shitjaspersays-blog]

...how do you even carbonate an egg?

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Tits go "aaaaaaaOOOOOOOOOOOguh"

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It looks like my arms just disappear into my vagina

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He was sexually assaulted by a very large buck.

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We could just plug a vacuum tube into my butthole

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"Can't see through these phat butts"

-Jaeden, 2018

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Zaza,you'll 77

-Chris, 2018

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Yeah, you just shit out the neck

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It's like trying to cut a diamond with a tortilla

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"I guess you'll just have to sit here and stew in your juices then."

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Homo homie!

...do doo, doodoodoo

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"Your mom's a masochist"

- Chris, 2018

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I don't want to trade my whore for your whore

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2, 4, 6, 8, Jesus motherfucking Christ

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Most jewish people would not have tails

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If Jacob tried to flush continental lithosphere dowdn his toilet, it's not gonna go.

[shitjaspersays-blog]

The volcanic arc is a bug splattered on the windshield, just -squishing noises-