Groom Shop Blues @shitmyclientssay - Tumblr Blog

We have this poster up in the shop

#top 10 #reasons why #dog grooming #haircut #dogs #grooming

C: Hi, I'm here for my appointment! Me: Your appointment time was three hours ago and we tried to get ahold of you several times. C: ...Soooo, when should I come pick him up?

#no #schedule hell #shitmyclientssay

Me: Okay, so I'd say give me about 2 hours to finish your dog. I'll call you about 15 minutes before I'm done. *45 minutes later* C: Hi, I'm here to pick up my dog!

#no #not done #we #will #call #you #shitmyclientssay

Me: Okay, your pup will be done in 3-4 hours, We will call you when they're done. *45 minutes later* C: Hi, is my dog done yet?

#shitmyclientssay #time table turn around #we #will #call #you

C: Oh, he's not that sheddy. Me: *Finishes brushing with enough hair to make four more dogs*

#not shedding #pants on fire #furminator is god #shitmyclientssay

Person I’m Familiar With on the Internet Arguing With Me About Dog Breeds: I’m not saying you don’t know how to wash a dog, but you’re just a dog bather. I volunteer at a shelter for three hours on the weekends, I’m more familiar with dog breeds and behaviors. Me: *internally screaming*

#just a bather #patronize me #test me

C: I like to keep my dog long, do NOT shave them! Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but there's really not much we can do. C: Just brush it out! Me: But... we physically can't...

#denial #shitmyclientssay #not a magician #brush yo dog

C: He doesn’t have any mats! I just brushed him two days ago!

*Spoiler: dog was matted*

#shitmyclientssay #magical matting #overnight matting #pants on fire

C: I brush my dog all the time! *Dog’s undercoat is terribly matted* Me: Here, let me show you some brushing techniques...

#shitmyclientssay #matting #pants on fire

*I was in the back doing nails when I hear someone walk in. The client was with me so I call out, "Hi, I'll be right with you!" A little over 60s later, I finish and go up to the front to greet the customer. No one is there, but there is a pile of cash on the desk and a note* C: "Bought two magnets." *No, they did not account for tax*

#petty theft #impatient #shitmyclientssay #why?#payday mayday

C: *Looking at me, horrified* Dog in the back: *screaming, sounding like it's dying* Me: I promise, we are not in the puppy torture business.

#clean up the mess #bratty dogs

C: Time for his yearly bath! Me: *trying not to look horrified*

#shitmyclientssay #gross #bad hygiene

C: Can't you get the nails shorter?? Me (aloud): Not without hitting the kwick. Me (in my head): Not unless you want a fountain of blood and a very bad day.

#shitmyclientssay #nail nightmare

C: Black nails are just so hard to cut!

*cue eyeroll*

#initiate eyeroll #nail nightmare #shitmyclientssay

C: I have definitely come in and used your facilities later than this!

*the time was 5:40 p.m. We take our last service (the one requested by this client) an hour before closing. We close at 6 p.m.*

#shitmyclientssay #pants on fire

C: Hi, I think I have an appointment tomorrow, could you check what time it’s at? Me: Of course. Your appointment time is x:xx C: Oh man, is there any earlier appointments? Me: I’m sorry, ma'am, but we are booked in the morning. C: Are you sure? Me: …yes ma'am. C: Ok… guess I’ll figure out a way to make it work.

*2 minutes later*

C: Hi, I think I have an appointment tomorrow, but I was wondering if you have any earlier availabilities? Me: ....

*I have dealt with this client before and not only is her dog a demon for grooming, but she’s honestly just a mean person*

#rude #shitmyclientssay #fool me once

C: We honestly don’t do any maintenance with them at home. Me: …*internally screaming*

*turns out the dog had a giant sore on her back leg that had gone unnoticed and one of her du-claws was so long it had curled and started growing into her leg*

#shitmyclientssay #maintenance mess #nail nightmare

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