Professional Bullshit

GREETINGS SUBORDINATE CHUTE STUFFERS, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT HERE, BUT I DO KNOW MY FUCKING FANTASTIC INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL NOTHING BUT UNWELCOMED. [indie no sgrub Karkat blog. Solkat ahoy.]

[shits-unflipped]

oh man this old thing.  This is the inspiration for gaining traction.  Wish it was still active, it was great.  maybe I’ll reboot it, if there are still homestuck rpers out there.

[shits-unflipped]

2iicklyp2iioniic:

TA: II thiink they keep me drugged 2omehow?

TA: II actually felt liike II do when II ate miind honey once. They 2aiid 2omethiing about neediing two giive me another do2e.

TA: Can’t remember well, wa2 bu2y throwiing up my wa2te chute. Felt liike II wa2 anyway.

TA: After II got whatever drug, II dropped down two normal level2.

TA:

TA: Maybe a liittle. The2e port2 hurt.

TA: You’re dead regardle22 though. You need two contriibute.

CG:  WHAT, LIKE DAMPENERS???  I THOUGHT THOSE WERE JUST WEIRD KINK THINGS.

CG: SHIT YOU’VE GOT TO GET OFF THOSE.

CG: ):B

CG: I’M SHUDDERING A LITTLE TO EVEN ASK THIS, BUT HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?

CG: YEAH, BUT LIKE, DYING AS AN UNQUADRANTED LOSER IS BETTER THAN BEING CULLED AS A MUTATED FREAK.  AT LEAST THEN I’M DYING A TROLL, Y’KNOW?  AND I’M NOT TAKING ANYONE WITH ME.

CG: I JUST

CG: I DON’T KNOW.

CG: NEVER MIND.

[shits-unflipped]

2iicklyp2iioniic:

TA: II’m a great and amaziing hacker yeah.

TA: Thii2 ii2n’t 2omethiing you can hack out of though.

TA: And iit’2 not liike II can run, where the fuck would II run two?

TA:

TA: Well fuck.

TA: You can’t hiide your cute and 2exy blood color now.

CG: I DON’T KNOW MAN, THERE’S GOT TO BE SOME SORT OF PRESIDENT FOR THIS SHIT.

CG: ITS NOT LIKE YOU’RE THE FIRST SORRY TROLL TO NOT WANT TO BE ROCKET FUEL.

CG: THERE’S GOT TO BE OTHERS. 

CG: NOT TO MENTION YOU’RE LIKE A REALLY FUCKING HIGH LEVEL PSIONIC.  CAN’T YOU JUST INCINERATE THEM WITH YOUR FREAKY EYE POWERS?

CG:

CG: DUDE ARE YOU STILL HIGH ON MEDS?  THOSE ADJECTIVES ARE NEVER TO BE USED TO DESCRIBE MY BLOOD.  THAT BETTER HAVE BEEN SARCASM.

CG: BUT YEAH, NOW DO YOU SEE WHY ITS SO IMPORTANT TO ME TO KEEP EMPTY QUADS?

[shits-unflipped]

2iicklyp2iioniic:

TA: KK, there are hole2 iin my fuckiing spiine. Hole2 two plug wiire2 iintwo.

TA: II’m pretty much ready two be plugged iintwo her 2hiip and u2ed two travel 2pace and conquer 2hiit.

TA: II can’t giive up when 2he pretty much made me, can II?

TA: II’m gue22iing we got another 2weep or two twogether before Helm2man croak2 and II have to take over.

TA: 2o II’m not goiing anywhere yet, nub2.

CG:

CG: I THINK I NEED A MINUTE TO JUST

CG: BREATH.

CG:

CG: OK

CG: YOU DON’T LIKE, ACTUALLY WANT THIS, RIGHT?

CG: SHOULDN’T YOU BE TRYING TO GET OUT OF THIS SHIT?

CG: WHAT HAPPENED TO MISTER SMART ASS HACKER, CAN’T YOU FIGURE A WAY OUT?

CG: AND...

CG: WE DON’T.

CG: I GOT COLLECTION NOTICE.

CG: ITS A LITTLE MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP AWAY.

[shits-unflipped]

2iicklyp2iioniic:

TA: 2aw thii2 comiing two be hone2t.

TA: Funny enough heard my own 2cream2 before they got me.

TA: II’m doomed, but at lea2t II got two meet you.

TA: 2orry for beiing 2appy, II’ll be an a22hole now.

CG: NO

CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO

CG: DON’T FUCKING SAY THAT

CG: JUST DON’T

CG: YOU’RE NOT DOOMED, DOOMED ISN’T EVEN A REAL THING, I THOUGHT YOU LET THAT BULLSHIT GO A LONG TIME AGO.

CG: FUCK DAMN IT, DON’T GET LIKE THIS, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH YOU WHEN YOU GET LIKE THIS!

CG: DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR THE SAP, I *LIKE* THE SAP AND WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW IT.

CG: APOLOGIZE FOR GIVING UP.

CG: BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE DOING, AND THAT’S THE SHIT I CAN’T HANDEL.

CG: FUCK SOLLUX.

CG: I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU.

[shits-unflipped]

2iicklyp2iioniic:

TA: Nothiing much.

TA: Got two learn what two expect from liife a2 rocket fuel.

TA: Then II got drugged and operated on.

TA: Ju2t got relea2ed thii2 eveniing and wa2 allowed two return here becau2e my nookfondler of an Ance2tor ha2n’t croaked yet.

TA: Diid you know port2 along the neck and back fuckiing hurt.

CG: OH SHIT.

CG: OH SHIT MAN.

CG: FUCK.

CG: OUR SITUATIONS HERE SHOULD BE REVERSED.  I SHOULD BE THE ONE PESTERING AFTER YOU, CONCERNED AS FUCK, NOT THE OTHER WAYS AROUND.

CG: DUDE HOW ARE YOU SO NONCHALANT ABOUT THIS?

CG: ITS KIND OF FREAKING ME OUT.

CG: YOU WERE JUST KIDNAPPED AND POKED FULL OF HOLES. ******FOR A QUARTER FUCKING SWEEP******

CG: AND YOU’RE JUST HERE LIKE 2UP KK HEARD YOU GOT DRUGED LIIKE A DUMB A22, YOU’RE OK RIIGHT??

CG: WHEN HERE YOU ARE, JUST

CG: SHIT MAN.

CG: I JUST

CG: SHIT

[shits-unflipped]

2iicklyp2iioniic:

shits-unflipped:

CG: NAH I’M FINE.  AS YOU POINTED OUT, I’M PARANOID AS FUCK, SO AS SOON AS WHATEVER HE SLIPPED ME STARTED KICKING IN, I HAULED ASS.

CG: I DIDN’T PASS OUT UNTIL I WAS BACK IN MY HIVE.

CG: AND SOME SHIT WENT DOWN, BUT NOTHING THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO HAPPEN.

CG: IT WAS A PRETTY FUCKING GOOD TIME UNTIL SHIT HIT THE WHIRLING DEVICE.

CG: DUDE, WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED?  LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?

TA: A2 much of an a22hole II priide my2elf iin beiing that II am, you’re my fuckiing friiend.

TA: And probably the only good thiing iin my fuckiing liife.

TA: E2peciially giiven recent ciircum2tance2 but yeah.

TA: Glad you’re fuckiing okay alriight.

TA: II can be an a22hole now iif that’2 what you want.

CG: WHOA, HOLD THE PHONE, SOLLUX CAPTOR IS GETTING SAPPY.

CG: GIVE ME A SECOND.

CG: I HAVE TO *SAVOR* THIS.

CG:

CG: OK, NOW BEFORE YOU GO BACK TO THE BEAUTIFUL PLACE THAT IS ASSHOLE LAND, TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU TO GET YOU, A, IN SAPPY CONCERNED SUDO MOIRAIL ZONE, AND B, WHERE THE FUCK YOU’VE BEEN. 

[shits-unflipped]

2iicklyp2iioniic:

TA: Fuck KK.

TA: Ju2t fuck.

TA: They diidn’t hurt you diid they?

TA: You got home before 2hiit got gro22 and per2onal and 2hiit?

TA: Fuck.

TA: You’re goiing two be okay?

CG: NAH I’M FINE.  AS YOU POINTED OUT, I’M PARANOID AS FUCK, SO AS SOON AS WHATEVER HE SLIPPED ME STARTED KICKING IN, I HAULED ASS.

CG: I DIDN’T PASS OUT UNTIL I WAS BACK IN MY HIVE.

CG: AND SOME SHIT WENT DOWN, BUT NOTHING THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO HAPPEN.

CG: IT WAS A PRETTY FUCKING GOOD TIME UNTIL SHIT HIT THE WHIRLING DEVICE.

CG: DUDE, WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED?  LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?

[shits-unflipped]

2iicklyp2iioniic:

TA: II wii2h.

TA: We’re not goiing two be doiing viideo call2 for a whiile though.

TA: How the fuck diid that happen? You’re paranoiid a2 2hiit.

CG: OH GOOD, I WON’T HAVE TO HAVE MY AURAL NUBS GROUND OUT WITH THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE.

CG: WHY SO SHY ALL OF THE SUDDEN, YOU’VE NEVER MINDED ASSAULTING ME WITH YOUR UGLY MUG BEFORE.

CG:

CG: YEAH, WELL.

CG: IT WAS QUADS DAY. I WAS LONELY.  WENT OUT AND DRANK WAY TO MUCH FAYGO.

CG: THERE WAS A HIGHBLOOD.

CG: ...YEAH.

[2iicklyp2iioniic-blog]

COME OVER. COME OVER AND PRETEND YOU'RE MY MOIRAIL. I MADE SOME DUMB CHOICES AND GOT ROOFIED AND NOW I'M DYING. PRETTY PLEASE.

Holy shit.

Holy shit, how long ago was this, a solid quarter of a sweep ago?

The horrible gut wrenching pain in your neck and back can wait, right now you need to pray that Karkat is alive and not, you know, culled into bits.

TA: KK?TA: 2hiit KK, II’m 2orry, II wa2 kiind of wii2hiing II wa2 dead and half deliiriiou2 untiil now.TA: Plea2e tell me you’re okay.

[shits-unflipped]

CG: DUDE.

CG: THIS WAS PERIGREES AGO.

CG: I’M FUCKING FINE.

CG: NO THANKS TO YOU.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK EVEN WAS THAT BULLSHIT DISAPPEARING ACT, I THOUGHT YOU GOT CULLED.

[shits-unflipped]

You're name is Karkat Vantas, and you always figured life would keep up its end of the bargain and...

Allow me to shamelessly self promote my new rp blog.

[shits-unflipped]

Hey everyone, mun here.  As you might have noticed, stuff has been pretty dead in the au for a while now.  Sollux’s mun and I are both college students and have all that to worry about.  So while I’m not calling it officially dead yet...things probably won’t pick up here anytime soon.

BUT!!

If you like this au and are 18+, head over to ao3 and read Cam Shenanigans!  It’s this au in fic form!  Granted a little bit in the future from where this au left off, but I’ll get to that maybe.   And I’m actually working to keep it updating and stuff.  Chapter three should be up by the end of the month, if not sooner!

[shits-unflipped]

Mun venting

Sorry for using this blog for this, especially after being gone so much, but this is the only blog I'm sure person-I'm-venting-about doesn't know exists.

So, if there is one thing I really hate, its being called transphobic.  Because you know what--I work really, really hard not to be.  The way I was raised gave me very wrong views about the subject, and I've been really working at reversing them.  Its something I have to untrain, and god fucking damn it, I have come a long way.

I should reiterate--I hate being called transphobic in the way I was this time.  Because if you're going to call me out on it, tell me how to get better too.

Here's why this made me angry

1) It was said behind my back.  I KNOW I wasn't supposed to see this.

2) I don't see why.  (I was asked for an honest opinion on a name.  I said I didn't like it.  Months later, I'm being called cissist for not liking a name.)  Now maybe I AM being a huge transphobic jerk here, I don't know.  I don't think so.  I didn't say don't use the name.  I didn't not call the person by this new chosen name. This wasn't said maliciously or out of the blue. I just said I wasn't fond of the name when asked my opinion on it.

3) It ended in "don't be an asshole"  Ok, fine, I was an asshole.  Please tell me how to not be an asshole next time?  Do I lie?  What do I do?  Help me learn so I can not be an asshole next time.

Yes, I get it, don't be like, "That's a dumb name" or, "It doesn't suit you."  Even when you're directly asked if you like it or not.  I suppose lying in deep rooted, trusting relationships is your best bet.

But you know what, fuck this person.  I am so done with them.  It was a mistake going back to check up on them, because if there is more thinly veiled vague blogging about me, I don't want to see it.  Because apparently being best friends for 6 years isn't enough to call me out on stuff at the time where I do it, instead of passive aggressively half a year later.

*sigh* 

Now I'm glad he didn't try to get back in contact with me after the breakup.  Not if he's having conversations with his sister over my eligibility to get beat up.  Heh, I am seeing the passive aggressive side of him now, and I'm very glad that he's out of my life.

Its going to suck when out mutual friends invite us together to hang out. But now I won't feel bad about being cold.  (Then again, he's thrown away so many people from his old life, there is a very real possibility I will never see him again.  And suddenly, that doesn't make me feel very sad anymore.)

tl;dr  being called out for shit and then not told how to improve really pisses me off.  Also being passive-aggressive is the biggest way for me to emotionally nope the fuck out.

So fuck you and goodbye bee, not wasting my time hoping you're doing alright anymore.  Because fuck you--I tried my very hardest to be supportive, and you know that.  You know I always put you and your transition first, despite it competently fucking over my identity.  You fucking know I always asked what ways I could help, how I could be more supportive, if I was doing anything wrong.  And you never said any of this.  I did research and talked to people, everything I could think of to not be an asshole.  So excuse me for not feeling bad about something you never told about.

Annnd, if that post wan't directed at me--though I'm like 99% sure it was--oops, my bad.  But also sorry not sorry.  Because this was the wake up call I needed to stop giving two shits about you.

[shits-unflipped]

You wake from a pleasant dream to a pounding head. You groan before you even open your eyes, because yes, you are definitely dying.  Where even are you, you can't remember anything.

You open your eyes, and the pain gets...get...many times more intense.  You wince, the movement screaming through your whole body.  You look around, find yourself collapsed against your front door.  What?

You grind the heels of your palm into your eyes and try to remember what happened.  Club, faygo, dancing, faygo,sloppy makeouts, more faygo--shit, you're gonna hurl.

You scramble to your feet, get halfway to your ablutionblock, and realize you're not going to make it.  You fall to your knees in the middle of your respitblock, pull a bucket out of your syllabus, and promptly empty the contents of your nutrition sac.  This is gross, this is so gross, but you're going to die anyway so it doesn't matter.

You struggle out of your clothes, and flop onto your couch in only your boxers.  Fuck, blankets, you definitely need like at least three blankets if you're going to not die. You pull yourself up, get a couple from the closet, puke again, and collapse on the couch again, now in a cold sweat from the effort.  You should probably sleep, but your kind of paranoid that if you fall asleep, you won't wake up again.

Instead, you struggle to put together what happened last night.  You also go and fetch your husktop, and puke twice more.  You manage to message Sollux, then pass out again.

[shits-unflipped]

You may or may not have went out to the sketchy club that doesn't check blood color tonight.  And you may or may not have had a drink.  Or a couple.  Faygo may taste horrible, but if you get some of the higher content stuff its great for doing shots.  And you like shots.  And you've had, like,at least six.  This highblood guy kept buying you more, and today, being the day it is, was a fuck it day.  And that means wearing your tight jeans and one of the few dress shirts you have, and seeing what happens.

And why happens is you immediately getting danced on the second you hit the floor.  Which is really, really fun after a couple shots.  More fun when you get sandwiched.  You're pretty sure you got thoroughly felt up.  And you made out with at least...at least a bunch of trolls.

And then someone tried to take you home.  And even being drunk off your ass, the red flags go up.  You brush her off, and let a Mr. Highblood pull you in.  He buys you a ton of shots, and you excuse yourself to the ablutionblock.  That's when you start feeling...weird. And not drunk weird.  Almost like you're dreaming.

You realize what's going on immediately.  You force yourself to throw up in the load gapper--you don't know if it will help or not.  Luckily there's a window, and you scramble out of it as best you can, and drunk-run back to your hive through fear and angry grub fuck power alone. 

Thank fuck its not far.  Ten minutes, tops.  Which means the drug is fully hitting you by the time you arrive on your door step.You manage to unlock the front door, step inside, re-lock the door.  It is a miracle.  The timing is fairy-tale perfect, if fairy-tails dealt with date rape.

You promptly slide down to the floor and pass out.

[shits-unflipped]

Excuse me I think you have something in your eyes--it's me.

NO I’M AFRAID YOU’RE MISTAKEN.  THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY PANTS HOWEVER—IS IT STILL YOU?

[shits-unflipped]

I'm sorry, but you owe me a drink----because when I saw you, I dropped mine.

FORGET A DRINK ANON, HOW ABOUT A WHOLE DATE?  AND MAYBE SOME FUN.  (;B