did you get these from evil temu..? or something?

a compendium of fear ARTIFACTS who are either not all that scary or are just plain mediocre. following in the footsteps of @shitty-fear-avatars. submissions welcome!

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

where did you get these artifacts? evil temu or something? ...wouldn't that be normal temu?

I was inspired by @shitty-fear-avatars and decided the goofy Magnus Archives artifacts deserve their own home. My askbox is always open for submissions, so if you have a dumb idea for a c-list artifact, send it in!

NO SEXUAL ASKS! I am not a minor but what I am is apothisexual so please respect that thank you :>

#shitty fear artifacts is the tag for submissions!

#reblogged fear artifacts is the tag for reblogs!

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

Weighted plushies and weighted blankets. Buried artifacts. Hey.. why are they heavier than I remember them being-

[muffled under plushie pile] this is the best day of my life

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

Artifact of the spiral but its mmmm slurms

now that's more like it! love me some slurms

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

A mirror where every time you look at it, something is slightly off about your reflection, not noticeable at first but as time goes on it slowly changes into a completely different person.

After you look at it enough times, people stop being able to recognise you. Your family is terrified by the stranger in their home that They Did Not Let In, your friends are concerned by the random person that keeps trying to talk to them. You look in the mirror, and don’t know who it is staring back.

hey who let the notThem into my collection

these are SHITTY fear artifacts not SPOOKY ones

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

Glass of water you had poured like an hour ago and when you go drink it the water tastes funky, like dust or mold. There's no way of telling if it's the glass' fault or the water's

yeah that's the corruption

[shitty-fear-avatars]

Not an avatar technically but an 'artifact' of the eye except it’s a questionnaire that asks for slightly invasive but non-relevant information

@shitty-fear-artifacts is your guy for that, but for what it’s worth I think it’s funny

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

ah yeah that'd be the evil uquiz, I'm familiar

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

And with your help my artifact collection can grow even further.

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

Artifact of the Eye but it’s those electrical outlets that look like a lil face staring at you

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

artefact of the Corruption and Web but it's just a piece of media that everyone who interacts with it becomes unhealthily obsessed to the point where they can't think of anything else for longer than a minute before their thoughts go back to this specific piece of media. It infects all their thoughts, all their waking and sleeping hours. It's always in the format that most appeals to the person, e.g. a gamer would find it as a video game, a bookworm would find it as a book, a movie critic would find it as a DVD. They always decide to see what's up and they always get obsessed. It always has the same or similar storyline and characters.

we didn't say which fandom but it came to your mind didn't it.

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

Artefact of The Spiral

A set of matryoshka dolls that make you feel bigger or smaller as you nest/un-nest them

You don't actually change size but you will try fitting yourself through the nearest keyhole if you reach the smallest doll

I'm gonna be so real this one feels actually statement worthy holy shit

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

A board game of the Lonely

It's multiplayer but every time you ask anyone to play it with you they're busy

so it wasn't just scheduling?? fuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

artefact of the end but it's a pen that becomes the instant favourite of its owner but it always has just a drop of ink left

oh is THAT what's been happening to my pens? when I get those fuckers,

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

Leitner of The Spiral that's written in a different language every time someone opens it. The language is random, and the only rule for it is that it will never be in a language the reader knows. Has no known effects because no one can read it.

illiteracy simulator 1000™️

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

excellent question! in my humble opinion it invents a new language to be written in.

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

web artifact but its my bed that somehow compels me over and over to lie down and sleep

companion piece to the evershrinking spiral mattress

[shitty-fear-avatars]

Avatar of the spiral but it's just a mattress that's a bit smaller than any bedframe you put it in so there's a few inches of space at the top and bottom of your bed that you have to stuff soft things in.

@shitty-fear-artifacts thoughts?

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

hangon I have a submitted artifact that would be perfect to accompany this

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

An mp3 player that exclusively plays "I want it that way" unless you try to tell someone it plays it. Any attempt to have anyone that is not its owner listen to that song through that mp3 player just makes the device only play distorted sounds until the person stops trying to make others listen to it. If done enough times it will just stop playing the song entirely until it changes owner

it's so fascinating how many of the shitty fear artifacts are the spiral. not to knock it though, the distortion deserves to be a little silly

[shitty-fear-artifacts]

artifact of the desolation but its the loss meme

would a rickroll be desolation too or is that more corruption or spiral