I, like many other people my age, dream of the day where we are stopped in a coffee shop by the most gorgeous man of our dreams who compliments our outfit (which was carefully curated to look cool yet casual that very morning) and immediately asks- no, BEGS, for our phone number, which we give with just the right amount of hesitation. This is what we fantasy lovers call “the meet cute”. And this fantasy is not limited to coffee shops. In the stretches of your imagination the meet cute can happen anywhere. A man can take notice of your unique looks and obviously charming personality on the street, in the stands of a football game, across a ballroom, in the middle of class, or even on the treadmill next to you. A girl with an extensive sense of false hope is basically never safe in public- she is always preoccupied with the dream of Prince Charming coming in to sweep her off her feet at any moment.
But this is only a fantasy. Of course Prince Charming won’t come riding in- most modern buildings wouldn’t even allow horses and carriages into their buildings. So ideal fantasies are almost always reluctantly thrown out the window. However- is the simple hope that a man will strike up a conversation or simply throw a soft smile your way completely out of the picture? It seems so.
Not only is the meet cute dead, but all random social interactions might as well be thrown away aswell.
Men in this day in age seem to cower in the presence of women. Is this because they weren’t raised right? Do they all share the same spectrum diagnosis? Were they emotionally stunted? It seems insane that every man on the planet is simply just shy, so it is uncommon for women to turn to the next logical explanation. Are we the issue?
Before feeding into any negative delusions- of course not! Girls- keep dressing up and sitting alone in coffee shops. Continue to start everyday with the same hope and spirit as if you really were living in a real life fairy tale.
Maybe the men are secretly making a social commentary. Because in the past men have typically been viewed as the dominant in heterosexual relationships, the partner who does the heavy lifting or the general sweeping of the feet, there has been a social expectation or standard that they continue doing this. But it seems as if they are stepping down from their pedestal of the social hierarchy of relationships. Why?
My theory is that they are genuinely afraid. We hear a lot about our generation being mixed up in phones and losing basic social skills because of it. We tend to brush off these comments because who wants to hear that what they enjoy doing is actually causing them harm. Not me! However this is a major issue and it is bleeding into the hopes of romance and true love that people like me have hoped to find since we were little and dreaming of our future meet- cutes.
If the men are in fact slacking off in hopes to reverse centuries worth of sexism, does this put the ball in the women’s court? If women started hitting on men sitting alone in coffee shops or eyeing them from across the street, would this end up in success and a happily ever after? And are we, as women, wrong for not wanting to do this?
As feminism evolves women have gained many social rights, from the right to vote to be employed, just to (almost!) be paid as much as a man is. Is one of these liberties now starting up every relationship? I can handle work and voting but why does courting seem like a responsibility completely out of my capabilities. Am I bad for wishing for a man to be a traditional man and take charge? I think not.
As a woman, I can recoginze my own beauty, appeal, and shining qualities. I am confident without being cocky. I am cool without being try-hard. I am smart but not obnoxious. I am funny as hell! I am the perfect package. Why is my one flaw something I can’t even control; the approachaibilty of men.
No matter what happened to contribute to the decline of the confident “manly- man”, maybe it is that damn phone, or maybe it is the song “Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure that has inspired men to stop being bold. Regardless, we are still in the same, single, position.
Another jab into my feminsit side is feeling bad about feeling bad about being single. I am self sufficient, why is the lack of a meet- cute or even just a man who occasionally looks in my direction such a sore subject. Why is it that I care so much? Or more- how do I stop caring? The sad truth is right now I am so plagued by the idea of a man in my life that I can’t even be bothered to give up caring about it. I fear I won’t stop caring about this until I am approached at random and lovingly confessed to.
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