SHOSHANNA

'sell a man a fish, he eats for a day. teach a man to fish, you ruin a good business opportunity.'

[shoshbi]

[brookrose-evans-blog]

private - shoshlyn

[shoshbi]

brookrose-evans:

For real, how did I land the most amazing girlfriend in the world? Cause, like…there’s no way I deserve someone as incredible as you and yet here we are.

But really, it’s like totes the truth.  Those people really don’t matter.  They’re bullies.  That’s honestly all they’re ever going to be, while hello you’ll go on to be someone who’s extraordinary.

And for the five millionth time, you deserve me.  We deserve each other, Cookie.

[brookrose-evans-blog]

private - shoshlyn

[shoshbi]

brookrose-evans:

You’re way too cute.

That really only gives me more reason to worry. What if you’ve been talking me up so much that I don’t meet whatever expectations they’ve made? What if I’m not really as cute to them as I am to you? 

You’d be surprised just how many people think the whole…thing I have going on is just an act and don’t find it endearing at all.

Mmk, well assuming the statistically impossible scenario where my parents expectations for you haven’t been met, I’m still going to be your girlfriend.  I haven’t been so happy pretty much ever in my life, and if they can’t see that, well, that’s totes too bad.  I love you, Cookie, and my parents do too.

Those people don’t matter then, do they?

[brookrose-evans-blog]

private - shoshlyn

[shoshbi]

brookrose-evans:

It was a joke, Shosh. Of course I don’t own a machete. I barely own proper utensils.

I knew that.  Totes.

But really, you’re worrying for nothing.  I’ve been telling Daddy about you for weeks now.  The whole Ben Israel family adores you already!

I mean, how could anyone not adore you?

[shoshbi]

blakeelias:

I don’t know, I don’t count my friends. I believe I’ve been told she is a lesbian and while I don’t know many, that makes her my favorite.

She’s something alright.

She’s totes a lesbian.  Like a super lesbian.  In fact, I totes used to introduce her as ‘my lesbian girlfriend’ for the longest time.

She’s absolutely beyond wonderful--that’s what my Cookie is.

[brookrose-evans-blog]

private - shoshlyn

[shoshbi]

brookrose-evans:

Right. I’ll be sure to leave my machete in the hotel room. Wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong impression.

Cookie...you have a machete?

[brookrose-evans-blog]

private - shoshlyn

I can’t believe I’m going to be eating breakfast on a beach with a mob boss tomorrow…what even is my life.

@shoshbi

[shoshbi]

Oh em gee, isn’t it exciting??  Daddy’s totes going to love you, and you’re going to be like ‘I was worrying for nothing’.

Wait, I’d meant to remind you before: don’t bring any weapons with you.  It totes wouldn’t leave a good impression if you fail the pat down from Daddy’s security team on the first meeting.

[elianawilde]

@brookrose-evans

Hello my favorite queer friend.

[shoshbi]

While I am unsurprised to hear that Cookie is a favorite friend of yours--regardless of qualifier--the question begs to be asked, how many “queer” friends do you have, and like, which definition of queer are you invoking?

I’d be more apt to call Cookie ‘peculiar’.  But like, in an endearing way.

[shoshbi]

OOC: I miss Shoshanna. ):

nawwww shoshypants misses you too, anon <3

[shoshbi]

brookrose-evans:

What colors were decided on for the rest of the room again?

Cornflower blue.  Obvi.  I still have the swatches in my bag!

[shoshbi]

So I just heard back from the designer, Cookie; they’re going to start work on Dexter and the girls room next week.  Though we totes still need to decide on a color for the window trim.  Bull and Bear can’t have their chakras uncalibrated by an unbalanced color design scheme, Cookie.

@brookrose-evans

[kristenstewartonly]

[vickarius-blog]

[psu-pmz]

[brookrose-evans-blog]

psu-pmz:

Unpopular Opinion: SHOSHLYN (@brookrose-evans @shoshbi)’s start is exactly how it’s going to end.

With a blind date?

[shoshbi]

I totes don’t understand what they mean by this either.

[psu-pmz]

The amount of people that SHOSHANNA (@shoshbi) has threatened to kill is alarming.

[shoshbi]

You mean all zero of them?

[saks]

Wake up, take a twirl and smell the roses. After all, you’ve got Brian Atwood’s Floral-Print Velvet Crystal Cluster Pumps to be excited about.

Photo: Romer Pedron

[shoshbi]

text || shoshlyn

Cookie: Should I bring Dex to snuggle with you and act as a heat pad? Or are the pups doing a good enough job?

Cookie: Yes ma'am!

Shoshanna Ben Israel: You can bring him. They've been so hyper all evening, so the answer to your question is a big no. :(

Shoshanna Ben Israel: I love you, Cookie.