dogs on an unforgettable night at the club (commission)
art blog(derogatory)
YOU ARE THE REASON
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
taylor price
we're not kids anymore.
Sade Olutola
Keni

Product Placement

shark vs the universe
hello vonnie
almost home
Misplaced Lens Cap

JVL
Claire Keane
🪼
tumblr dot com
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
$LAYYYTER
Not today Justin
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@shower-faucets
dogs on an unforgettable night at the club (commission)
im not really worried about aging because im only going to become hotter and more insane the older i get
would be fun if language acquisition echoed language evolution a la recapitulation theory. kids going through an indo european phase.
https://xkcd.com/2567/
fuuuuuck there really is an xkcd for everything
official linguistics post
I hate that people never include the finished render when posting that. it looks so good it's a shame not to.
I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:
isn’t he beautiful
listen to the SOUND when he bites
and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them
2000 pounds of Good Boy
you get me
I honestly expected like 5 notes, what HAPPENED here
More tags on this ridiculous post:
Wait, thats the 2nd biggest crocodile? Then what does the biggest one look like?
That would be Cassius, a very old Saltwater crocodile who is estimated to be around 114 years old and lives at Marineland Melanesia in Green Island, Australia. His official measurement is 5.48 meters, which makes him the largest in captivity currently. Because Utan is only slightly smaller and much younger, (only in his 50s), he will likely break Cassius’ record eventually. But for now, Cassius holds the title:
He is NOT, however, either the largest crocodile ever captured in Australia OR the largest ever in captivity.
A slightly larger crocodile has been reported (though not yet comfirmed) to have been captured at 5.58 meters.
And while the famous Brutus of the Adelaide River was estimated to be just slightly larger than Cassius at 5.5m, he was driven out of his territory by a younger and even larger crocodile, who as a result has been given the name, The Dominator. He is estimated to be just over 6m.
This is Brutus, with an appropriate caption:
It is believed that he lost that arm in a fight with a Bull Shark.
The Bull Shark lost.
THIS is the crocodile who kicked him out. The Dominator:
And that’s STILL not the biggest.
The largest living crocodile ever reliably measured was Lolong, who for the 1.5 years between his capture and his death was the largest crocodile ever held in captivity, at a whopping 6.17 meters (20 feet 3 inches) and 1075 kg (2,370 lbs). He had been feeding on both humans and very large livestock in the Bunawan creek in Agusan del Sur in the Philippines. It took 100 people all night to drag him to shore during his capture.
And here’s why:
Also, to prevent credit from getting buried on a separate reblog, I have been informed that the above image of the crocodile with the cartoon eyes and halo was made by @rashkah! (And it is wonderful and I would like to thank him for its existence, because it perfectly captures my feelings about terrifying giant primordial reptiles.)
@theonewhocheeps
Holy fuck
As far as Brutus is concerned I was led to believe that he lost that arm when relatively young.
Since then Brutus developed a habit of hunting and eating Bull Sharks.
Here’s him with a prey.
And if you thought that you’ll be safe if you just stay out of Australia then think again!
Meet Gustave the Nile Croc.
This crocodile became almost legendary for both it’s size and the habit of hunting both livestock AND humans.
So how big is Gustave?
No one is sure. Since he was NEVER captured.
His estimated size is of at least 5,5m but some give him over 6m.
The terrifying parts are:
1) He is still growing having only about 60 years.
2) Adult crocodiles often perform a gesture of submission to him - something usually done by young crocodiles toward adults - Gustave is just THAT BIG.
3) His sheer size makes it difficult for him to catch agile prey Nile crocs tend to feed on - hence why he developed a habit of hunting either larger prey like Hippopotamus or creatures which are not good at spotting danger in the first place like livestock and humans.
And this is NOT ALL.
Gustave actually has a noticeable scars on his body - he was shot at east 3 times and stabbed with a spear or something similar at one occasion.
He lived to tell the tale - my question is:
What happened to that one dude who attacked Gustave with a spear?
*Crocodile Dundee voice* Mate, that’s not Gustave:
THIS is Gustave:
And he is the PERFECT CROCODILE. He is the perfect example of what I mean when I talk about (as I do) how the morphology of extremely large crocodiles adapts to the changing physics of their bite.
This is a typical adult Nile Crocodile:
And THIS is a god among his kind:
This is it, folks. The Final Form. THIS is what peak performance looks like.
Crocodiles and physics have an interesting relationship. Crocodiles have, by a CONSIDERABLE MARGIN, the strongest bite of any animal on Earth. EVER. Scaled up estimates (based on Nile and Saltwater crocodiles) give the extinct Deinosuchus an estimated bite force MORE THAN DOUBLE the recently updated Tyrannosaurus bite estimates. Living crocodiles have bite forces measured in the range of 5000 pounds per square inch, for an individual around 15-16 feet. It is estimated that modern crocodiles in the range of 18-20 feet would have bit forces around 7-8000 psi or more.
That’s a problem.
Because a crocodile’s skull is only designed to handle so much pressure. Go beyond that limit and the force of impact when those jaws snap shut could literally shatter their own skulls.
But evolution has spent hundreds of millions of years perfecting crocodiles, so PHYSICS ISN’T GOING TO STOP THEM. What ends up happening in the skulls of these extremely large crocodiles is they will increase dramatically in mass to compensate for the increased forces. A crocodile’s skull is almost exclusively solid bone, with only minimal space for nasal passages, a surprisingly advanced brain, and some slightly porous looking framework that helps the bone distribute the force over a larger area. The effect is by far the most pronounced in Nile crocodiles, which most regularly feed on larger prey and need to make use of all that power.
Compare, 26 inch skull:
vs 29 inch skull:
Both of those are Nile crocodile skulls (or rather, replicas thereof).
And just for fun, here are the skulls of completely different (and very extinct species), Deinosuchus:
and Purussaurus:
The bigger the crocodile (within a given species), the more massive the skull needs to be to compensate for that UNBELIEVABLE bit pressure. This is one way to see from a distance whether you are looking at a normal sized crocodile:
and a truly extraordinary individual:
One of the things about Gustave that’s so impressive is how healthy his teeth look. A lot of large crocodiles, in their old age, have very worn down and often missing teeth. They do replace them many times over a lifetime, but when they get very old this slows down. Gustave, at least in every picture taken of him, had teeth that were in very good condition.
Even crocodiles much smaller than Gustave’s reported size (probably similar in size to Dominator or Lolong) tend to have smaller or more worn teeth:
than the pinnacle of his kind:
Lolong! It means Gramps or Grandpa, because he’s a relic of an ancient world where crocs more massive than he was walked the earth. His body is on display somewhere right now though I forgot where.
Every time I see this post there’s more crocodiles. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
My friend sent me this post and said it was Sun core so y'all know what I had to do.... 🤭😭✍️
Think y'all would also greatly appreciate this one I did like a year ago
(i still quote "yall already know i got my jingle jays/fiddledeedees on" because of this
Both of these
I’m sorry, it had to be added
Every single discussion about a good villain/hero dynamic ALWAYS comes back to these two
this is an incredible map
It's very funny to me that the stereotypical gelatinous cube is bright fucking green when the monster itself is almost perfectly transparent. Like its gimmick is that it's a monster that imitates an empty 10x10 hallway. How many people have fallen victim to gelatinous cubes because they "know" that the ooze is bright green and so don't bother to check the suspiciously clean corridor in front of them.
The cube is green because oh my god do you know how hard it is to draw a perfectly transparent cube? Especially in isolation, like in the monster manual? Even if you put debris in, it reads as "floating skull ft. helium sword." Awful. Absolutely wretched.
I'm picturing it appearing in in-universe bestiaries with a little caption like *specimen dyed for visibility.
Dungeon naturalists sneaking up on a cube with a bucket of green dye so they can see it well enough to study it.
Classifying your Slimes and Oozes by Gram staining them
In the last campaign I ran, one of the NPCs raised gelatinous cubes as a hobby. She selectively bred them for color saturation, and her latest cube was a rare green color morph worthy of being entered into exotic pet shows. She named it Billy-Blob.
@esutonia I liked your tags
Mauro C. Martinez (American, 1986) - Trust (2022)
PAINTING, SCROLL BACK UP
⚠ PAINTING ⚠ ⚠ SCROLL BACK UP ⚠
stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle
HELLO??
Hot damn, I will definitely buy champagne and strawberries for the horny cheese
That is my favorite cheese of all cheeses and I canNOT get it, here.
who is in control?
I hallucinate this post at least 5 times a day
I understand that most of your calls can be resolved by telling the dumbass on the other end to plug it in properly, or maybe turn something off and back on again. But I, an advanced dumbass, have already tried that and I'm afraid it's worse than either of us thought going into this.
Once had an IT guy tell me the only possible explanation was a localised black hole under my desk disrupting the space time continuum, and I've always been obscurely proud of having an error that severe, even though it definitely wasn't me creating localised gravitational anomalies
I once had a computer problem so weird that it was escalated through like 4 different tiers of Apple Care until I was on the phone with this incredibly earnest guy who told me [in the thickest Eastern European accent imaginable]: "Oh my God... This is so strange... Haha!! Oh my God!!! Charlie, I will tell you, I have never encountered anything like this in my seven years of working here! All my days are spent usually helping people with stupid nonsense, but Charlie, you have brought me a PUZZLE! You have brought me a GIFT! I am FASCINATED! Now, I am going to get my manager, but Charlie, I PROMISE you. I PROMISE YOU, I will be back soon. PLEASE, Charlie, stay with me, and I PROMISE I will return to you and my manager and I will take care of you. OK?" and yes thank you i did tear up
i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point
you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling