The cracks in the Crystal

RP blog for Zanel Fae, a healer with his hand in the crystal trade.

[shroudofsaints]

Gif commissions?

Hello! I was able to buy an apartment on Balmung, but being an alt, and not playing it much I don’t have many means to making gil. I enjoy making gif sets and if you’re interested, I can make some for you for a price! I really just want to decorate my apartment but I’m broke lol These are some of the examples I’ve made Example 1 Example 2 Example 3 Example 4 Example 5 Example 6 - Contains spoilers for patch 3.4!

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[spearofthemother-a]

“Sometimes I want to punch you, you know that? Hard, in the face, with the spikiest of gloves on.”

[shroudofsaints]

“You’d have to pierce my shield first.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“So you think you’re stronger just because I have a temper?”

[shroudofsaints]

“It’s as if you don’t know the first thing about fighting. It’s just another thing I can use against you, it’s so simple to trigger it.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“And you’d know how strong I am now, how exactly?”

[shroudofsaints]

“By how you act.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“And I’m not? I’ve gotten stronger.”

[shroudofsaints]

“Not stronger than me.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“Believe it or not, I have. It’s been three years, Zanel, people change.”

[shroudofsaints]

“Temper hasn’t. That, and you think you’re strong enough to protect me.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“I’m not-! Ugh, Gods, this is why talking to you gives me a migraine. I’m not saying that! Okay, I’ll admit I acted like that when I was younger, but do you think I really do anymore?”

[shroudofsaints]

“Given how easily you lose your temper, forgive me if I can’t believe you’ve matured in all these years.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“You honestly think I called you out on your feelings just to do it? No, calling you out on it would’ve required me to gloat about bringing the sorry bastard down, and when was the last time I did that? Fucking years ago. I was trying to make a point that obviously got missed. That anything you felt when he died is what I’m feeling now.

I know exactly why you won’t believe my words, even though I apologized and begged your forgiveness so many times I’ve lost count.”

[shroudofsaints]

“You’re talking as if you single-handedly killed him. You weren’t the only one there so don’t talk as if he died by your hand alone.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“I never said my suffering was more important.. You think I’m only fighting ‘cos there’s glory in it? There’s nothing glorious about any of this, you know that. I’ve got people I want to protect, even if you don’t like them, I want to protect them too. Fuck, as much as I shouldn’t, I wanna protect your dumb face too. I don’t attempt to be high and mighty anymore, I don’t want to.”

[shroudofsaints]

“I don’t need the protection of someone who can’t even keep her emotions in check. You don’t say it, but you sure act like it is. You’re not acting high and mighty yet you bring out my past in an attempt to call me out when you’ve acted worse than me in a similar situation. And you wonder why I can’t believe your words.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“Since when am I acting high and mighty?!”

[shroudofsaints]

“Trying to bring up how I acted when Nael died when you acted worse than I ever did after the banquet. It’s annoying. People suffer everyday. Why is your suffering anymore important than theirs? You’re not the only one that’s lost someone. I hate this place. Yet I’m strong, stronger than most. There’s people who are innocent, and that’s why I fight, to protect them. If it means dealing with Hydaelyn, putting up with you people, I’ll do it.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“And you think I had a choice about hiding away like that?”

“Are you expecting me to defend my actions? Or what I did back then? You wouldn’t accept it even if I did.”

[shroudofsaints]

“Then don’t act so high and mighty when you’re no better.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“Alright, I didn’t have the greatest family, or the best childhood, I didn’t have anything you did. But you know what? Minfilia, Thancred, all of the Scions became that family I never had. It isn’t something less to me, no matter what you think. Did you honestly think I’d agree with you? You should know better, too.”

“Do I need to remind you of when Nael died? How YOU reacted?”

[shroudofsaints]

“Again, I answered why I feel the way I do about them. They’re nothing to me, so I don’t care about them. I’m not sure why you got the idea we’d think the same in that regard. And in case you forgot, I went to Cartenau despite how I felt. I left them to protect them. I didn’t lock myself away and felt sorry for myself.

Need I remind you how you acted after the banquet?”

[shroudofsaints]

Zanel is a very lonely person, but he doesn’t seek friends truthfully, he embraces his solitude because then he doesn’t have to worry about something. His sole company is his wind-up Bahamut, Dammy, whom most people think of as a pet. He’s the only thing he can talk to honestly. He found out his parents are alive, but Lousioux’s spell erased their memories of him. On top of that, they had another child, a little girl who’s around 6 years old. He refuses to get involved in their lives, or even attempt to get them to remember him as he knows his parents would feel absolutely awful for forgetting him and he doesn’t want them to know that pain. He does travel to Ishgard sometimes to catch glances of them though. His closest friends were with him at Cartenau, he watched 2 disappear before him, and his best friend’s fate is unknown to him because he disappeared before him. While he has people he knows, he’d consider them acquaintances at best. He doesn’t have people he considers friend. At least until Haurchefant showed up. He didn’t warm up to the elezen until entering Ishgard, and even then it took him a while still to let down his walls. It was nice to have someone who cared about him, but his death really hurt him. The first friend he made post-Calamity died to protect him, and it’s one of the main reasons he became even more apathetic.

So that just leaves the Scions, and they’re the recipients of all his jadedness and bitterness. The happiest he;s ever been with them was during the escape to Ul’dah, watching them all get separated. The sole reason he stayed in the beginning was for the benefits being affiliated with the Scions granted him. However, after seeing the Warriors of Darkness, he’s heavily pondering leaving as he doesn’t want to be attached to them anymore. The name is heavily tainted to him.

[spearofthemother-a]

“How else am I suppose to react?! Like you, completely apathetic to everything that goes on concerning the Scions?”

[shroudofsaints]

“And why should I care about them? Unlike you, I had a family that loved me. I’m not about to tarnish their memory by accepting something less. Don’t get mad when you don’t like the answer I give. You should know better by now. You asked why I thought he was better and I told you why.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“Shut up.”

“You better mean the fact she went over there to help them… I swear to Thal that better be what you mean.”

[shroudofsaints]

“Look at how you’re acting. You’re only proving my point.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“So how’s Mr. Tall, Dark and Broody better?”

[shroudofsaints]

“He, along with the others, did the ultimate sacrifice. One Scion goes missing and everyone runs around with their head cut off, or sulks. They have the conviction we do not. Just look at everyone’s reactions to Minfillia.”

[spearofthemother-a]

“….”

“Nevvvvermind.”

[shroudofsaints]

“I see..”