wide-eyed wanderer

Ah... H-hello... I'm Larry Cooper-Stevenson, but I probably can't help you with anything... Sorry... I'm kind of useless... { Indie OC RP blog for SHSL Drifter ( ´_ゝ｀) }

[shsldrifter]

i want larry to be a flower

[shsldrifter]

A Collection of Things Larry Usually Thinks About

When you're in a tunnel,

And it's kinda dark, 

And you just say something like

"hello, hello, hello..."

And it bounces around the walls. 

That's kinda cool. 

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Do you think that ducks have bread preferences,

Or do they just eat anything that is thrown at them? 

Do they prefer white or whole wheat? 

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Sometimes I wonder how I survived the world, 

But I think it's the world that kept me alive. 

I think we have a mutual pact thing. 

It keeping me alive and me using that life to see it. 

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Does anyone remember me?

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It's really lucky how I ended up

As a hobo instead of a college kid with a few degrees. 

Degrees are kind of boring, 

And time-consuming, I guess. 

But it makes you smarter...?

I wish I were smart. 

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I would make a terrible father. 

Maybe. 

(Do you have to have a house to have a kid?)

(I kind of want a kid.)

(I already have seven though.)

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Why do dead-ends exist?

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All the paper bills are so pretty. 

... All except America's. 

Kinda disappointing. 

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What will happen when I get old

And I can't walk anymore?

Please let there be forever-young medicine. 

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The sunsets in one place

Is the sunrise in another. 

That's great. 

No matter the beginning or the end, they see the same sun. 

And it's all

How should I say it? 

It's just bigger than all of us, I suppose. 

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No matter where you are

Everyone hates mosquitos. 

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Do I have a home?

I wonder if I'm always home. 

[citylandscapes]

Edinburgh, Scotland

[shsldrifter]

i want to delete larry bt i can'T and the silly reason is blue is my favourite colour.....

[shsldrifter]

sometimes i miss this community

but then i remember

and i'm not so sure about getting back to it anymore

[shsldrifter]

i don't really want to delete this blog

i think just knowing he exists is really nice

even if i don't make him talk to people

[shsldrifter]

larry walking along the beach picking up seashells. just picking up seashells and dipping his feet in the water with his trench coat slung over his shoulder as the sun slowly sets. a lazy day. 

[shsldrifter]

wipes dust off this blog

[shsldrifter]

when you haven't worn flat soled shoes for so long and your feet are just like

question mark?

[shsldrifter]

WHO IS THE WINDOWS 7 PERSON LOOKING AT MY BLOG

[shsldrifter]

if there is one thing i like

it's larry's theme

[shsldrifter]

i made larry yale colours

[shsldrifter]

i WANT to talk and not just to you but to other people as well and i WANT to make you happy and i WANT to roleplay and i WANT to draw but i have four academic clubs of intense participation required AND they all require either a lot of work or a lot of work after school AND it takes me either one hour or one hour and forty minutes to get home AND i've got a ton of homework that i don't know how to start AND my wifi goes out at nine thirty AND i'm a wimp that can't sleep late AND there's stuff. there's my own stuff that i want to do and i want to achieve and i just. 

i dunno i never felt like this befor ei never felt like i didn't have enough time but now it's flying away so fast and i don't have time. i don't have time for anything. not for school, not for clubs, not for people. i just want to be completely and utterly empty. 

and i feel ugly. i feel ugly for being so selfish or even something as simple as looking into the mirror and knowing that i can't change what i'm seeing. my dreams and what i wanted to do for the rest of my life seems impossible and are they really dreams worth chasing? to just devote yourself to writing books that may or may not fit the general taste of the public, to be rejected when you thought that you were good enough?

and i guess i am good enough, i'm just not good enough. not the material for harvard or yale or oxford or cambridge, but mostly yale. because i know i will never be parading around in navy blue across the beautiful campus on a chilly november day in new haven because i've seen people, i've seen wonderful people who can balance a million different things at once that didn't get into the u of t and i look at myself and i'm scared. where am i going? where could i go? i can't get myself anywhere. not like this. not with an attitude like this. 

not with the courage to force myself to study and do my work. 

not with so little time. 

and if they can do it, then i should be able to! right? it's not like it's impossible or anything. but i can't do it. i know i can't do it because every time i thought i could do something it falls flat. it backfires. so i have to stop hoping. like last year in april when i thought i wasn't going to make it and we ended up flying all the way to new york. remember that? 

i want to aim low, live a nice little life, fulfilling myself. but it's not enough. things just come crashing down like dominoes and before you know it you don't care what homework you have or what classes you have tomorrow and you just want to curl up in a corner and draw or play games or talk with people but no!! those are all extraneous stuff that won't help with your future!!

well why can't i have both? i want to wear that navy blue hoodie and those student-made "harvard sucks" sunglasses, i want to so much you have no idea. but i want to pace myself, to not get stressed, and if my parents think that i can sleep before eleven every night and still get into a top ranking university? 

i guess i could try. 

and fall flat on my face, probably, but who knows? no one knows. 

i just wish it wasn't so fucking hard. so fucking hard to do things. to make friends. to keep friends. to travel. to rest. to find time to rest. to stop crying. i want to stop crying. it's making my eyes swollen and i DO NOT LIKE THIS. i want to stop everything from hurting so much. i want to stop seeing despair everywhere i go. i want to stop feeling pessimistic about things but i also want to be realistic and move forwards. 

i wanna change. but i can't change. and i don't feel the energy to. 

so i can just sit here and rot until my death, and hope feverishly, and do nothing. 

[shsldrifter]

Nostalgia is wow. Anyways, shower.

[shsldrifter]

GETTING MARRY YOU STUCK IN MY HEAD WHILE HULLY FEELS MORE LIKE SCREAMING

[shsldrifter]

HULLY WAS NEVER CANON...

[pixelsnightmaresmoved-deactivat]

"Oi! So I’m new here and still getting moved in but, could ya reblog if you’re a Dangan Ronpa OC RP Blog? Sorry I’m still finding my way around and I’ve gotta meet someone.”

"I’m pretty sure I’m not alone here anyways."