Trash Central

I'm Derek and I make shitposts. || He/Him 22 || art in icon by @bile-shroom

[miskhos]

tonight i swore a blood oath to the minimum wage workers at my local subway

[strawbiesoda]

Hey. Hey Punchy. What the FUCK

[paxamericana]

[scenereport]

I know a lot of landlords are jerks but my favorite landlord ever was an older eccentric gay man and whenever something went wrong in my apartment he would always say “I’ll send one of the boys over.” And then some absolutely shredded young man would show up in white jeans, exceptionally polite, and fix it the same day.

[yo-fuckers]

you had the only valid landlord ever

[grey-wardens-archive-deactivate]

BON APPÉTIT Brad and Orville Peck Make Elote (Mexican Street Corn) - It’s Alive

[neonprotagonist]

[fireladyazula]

#a badass

[down-sizing-redux]

Never forget the time Toph Beifong was the first person ever to bend a material previously believed to be unbendable and she did it out of pure spite.

[carolinskyy]

[nightofthecreeps]

I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke and he said, “let me call another lawyer”, and that lawyer said yes. 

JOHN MULANEY SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 02/29/2020

[heartfeltdelight]

this is the funniest thing to ever happen

[liquidstar]

it’s literally so funny to me that soul eater takes place in nevada. i dont know why. i think its because it’s such a wild story about the grim reaper and witches and demons and a school where kids turn into weapons… and it just takes place in nevada 

[olddaydreams]

It takes place in what now.

[liquidstar]

nevada

you know, where the almighty god of death resides 

[sailorcuba]

why is the sims so addictive but only for a short amount of time??? like all u do is play the sims u don’t sleep u don’t eat it’s like you’re on drugs for around two days and then forget about it for the next whole year

[chibigaia-art]

offering a ryukita to all the ryukitas out there

[kkachi95]

Sokka and Suki absolutely deserve more time with each other

[redkrypto-deactivated20211128]

i’m screaming

[emiliusthegreat]

I don’t think this woman is straight anymore.

[striikee]

Yall are missing the best fucking part

[filmnoirsbian]

Its time.

[filmnoirsbian]

Off to a good start

[filmnoirsbian]

Hello i have a new favorite movie

[filmnoirsbian]

The heavy metal guitar solo intro music just petered off into the jurassic park theme sjsnsjejwkms

[filmnoirsbian]

Oh this man is a himbo. Excellent.

[filmnoirsbian]

Wait is this man a priest or a pastor 🤔 if he's a priest then the title is false advertising

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm speechless

[filmnoirsbian]

[gun fire]

[raptor screeches]

[filmnoirsbian]

She's talking abt how he turned into a dinosaur and ate the guy who was trying to rob her

[filmnoirsbian]

"I don't believe you! Dinosaurs never existed, and even if they did, I didn't turn into one!"

[filmnoirsbian]

Solidarity

[filmnoirsbian]

Me: bro they better keep this shit platonic

[Carol and Priest looking at each other, smiling lightly after sharing an embrace, tension building]

Me: 😒

[Carol and Priest share a massive high five]

Me: oh??? 😏😌

[filmnoirsbian]

He's literally reading a book called Crime

[filmnoirsbian]

Velocifather: father stewart, what if i told you i was...different

Father Stewart: you're not THAT different. they're are plenty of people like that in the church

[filmnoirsbian]

Bro i can't even describe this vietnam war flashback.....there's 5 guys in jeans and thrifted military jackets in what is clearly someone's backyard......a bloody helmet on a garden fence is meant to symbolize how many brothers in arms they've lost.....they just stuck a blond wig on the old priest to show how young he was back then.......his gf just showed up and stepped on a land mine and died....which is why he joined the priesthood...the editing feels like a fever dream

[patronustrip]

BONUS:

Good luck kiss Headcanon #2 Korra will never play any game or go in any adventure without a good luck kiss from Asami. Why? Because she is a PUPPY.

Enjoy, patronustrip

[geekthegeek]

Treasure boy by Picolo-kun

[beachgothgay]

The ides of March is coming up what’s everyone getting me?

[emperor-ing-deactivated20191108]

[im-a-fully-realized-creation]

[starsiignals]

i never understood how we’ve reinvented heiroglyphics until now

[846782364278]

just impulse bought a worm on a string pipe and for once i have no buyers remorse

[846782364278]

yes…… YES…………… . ……