*Unnecessary manly screaming*

Yo Yo Yo! I'm Caleb Matthews! SHSL YouTube Game Commentator! As feminine as I seem I identify as a male, so I should be referred to as such! We should talk when we can! I'd love to be friends with you, so hit me up if you want!

[shsl-toy-maker]

Nightmare Fuel // Open // Chapter 4

[shsl-toy-maker]

Etsuko felt her chest tighten as she stood up to run off to his room, but had to physically stop herself as she hurried over to grab Caleb’s cane for him and help him stand again. “W-We need to find him…!” She insisted.

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb was a bit shaky on his feet, but he still nodded and braced himself to walk quickly. “Let’s go, then. I’ll be right behind you.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Everybody dies/Open/Chapter 4

[ultimateextremesportsstar]

Kiki gave a bitter laugh. Instead of responding immediately, they buried into the crook in between Caleb’s neck and shoulder and closed their eyes.

“No, I know that she did not. It was always Ryuu-kun who had her heart. That was why I did not bother. I did not want to bother her with it. I am well versed in unrequited love. I know that confessing only tends to worsen the relationship. Still, I… really appreciate you saying that. Thanks.”

They sighed softly while he played with their hair. It felt oddly comforting, like how hanging out with Caleb in general felt to them. They didn’t think that they were ready to investigate Zinaida’s death, still slightly on edge and frightened that they would tip over once again, but they knew that they couldn’t afford to sit around all day either.

“We head over to Grennan-kun’s dorm. You could sit on his bed and rest your leg, and, then, when you feel like it, we could investigate his room together, ‘cause I gotta to check out those pills on his counter. It’s a win-win.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb frowned slightly when Kiku talked about unrequited love, he certainly could not say he knew it well. Sure, he’d had a few crushes that weren’t returned before, but Toshi was the first person he’d ever actually loved, like that, and he didn’t even have to go a full day without him. Or did he go a full day? He wasn’t sure anymore.

“Alright.” Caleb pulled back from the hug to sit on his good leg and offer a smile before looking towards where he dropped his cane in his rush to get to Zinaida and his smile turned a bit more sheepish. “Althought I’m gonna need quite a bit of help grabbing my cane and getting up.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Everybody dies/Open/Chapter 4

[ultimateextremesportsstar]

Kiku shivered violently in Caleb’s embrace. Nevertheless, they gripped onto him tightly, like they were worried that he would slip from in between their fingers if they didn’t, and they didn’t think that they could honestly afford to lose him too, so they pulled him as close as they could and refused to let him go.

“I…I don’t wanna lose you either.”

Even though they didn’t know one word of, what was that, Spanish, maybe, they knew how Caleb felt, that he loved her too, maybe not like they loved her though, more like siblings were supposed to love each other. Still, they finally managed to croak it out too.

“I love her too.”

It felt like a stream of water gushing out of a faucet. Once they turned it on, and the stream of words begun flowing out from their mouth, they couldn’t turn it off, they couldn’t stop it, they didn’t know if they would even stop it, even if they could stop it, because fuck this, this felt so fucked up.

“I love her, so much. I did not tell her because I did not think I should burden her with the knowledge, because I would not want that, I would never ever, but I should have, I should have told her before it was too late, but I was too late, and I cannot because she is gone.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb pulled back enough to wipe Kiku’s face and offer his trademark comforting smile. “I don’t know if she felt the exact same for you, but she really cared for you, you never would have been a burden for her.” He leaned back into their hug and squeezed reassuringly, giving a small moment of silence.

“Maybe we should look around for clues? Or maybe just...” Caleb glanced at Zinaida’s body for a moment, “... Go somewhere else around here that might be more comfortable. My leg is really hating the floor right now.” He played absently with the back of their hair as they hugged.

[shsl-toy-maker]

Nightmare Fuel // Open // Chapter 4

[shsl-toy-maker]

“Murder…” Etsuko corrected, rubbing at her eyes and pushing herself up, her hair falling back into her face. “Zinaida was the only one who be killed… W-Wasn’t she…?” Etsuko asked, looking back at Caleb, her eyes focusing again as she took a head count of everyone in the room.

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb paused and took a head count of his own. “I-I think someone’s missing... Should we go check?” It could be that Harmon was simply sleeping still, or maybe he just didn’t want to stick around the body, but Caleb had a sinking feeling that wasn’t the case. “He might be in his room...?”

[shsl-toy-maker]

Nightmare Fuel // Open // Chapter 4

[shsl-toy-maker]

“If I’d killed myself like I planned, maybe the bear would have stopped the masterminds from killing anyone… And Zinaida would be alive…” Etsuko exclaimed, her eyes finally now watering. “I-I don’t.. Want to be here anymore…” She whimpered.

[shslyoutubegamer]

“Etsuko, no. That would have just postponed it happening at best.” He looked down at her sadly and pressed his lips down. “We’re gonna get out. I promise. Yes, we’ve lost some people. Yes, all of them were important, but it happened. That’s how life played out.” Caleb sighed and petted Etsuko’s hair. “I miss Zinaida too. I deeply regret not managing to save her. But I couldn’t. No one could. It sucks, but why should we beat ourselves up? It wasn’t our fault. It’s the murderers.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Everybody dies/Open/Chapter 4

[ultimateextremesportsstar]

Kiku didn’t know what was wrong with them. Everything everywhere had been stained red. Their chest ached so badly, like there was this thick pressure sitting right on top of their lungs, and their ribcage was about to cave inwards, and it felt painful, and they felt like screaming. Instead, they smiled, sickly sweet, and giggled.

“My death is not important, though, is it? Is it not more important that they receive proper punishment? They control Monokuma, so who is to argue that Monokuma might not let them off with a warning. I want to see them bleed. If I die in the process, then who… cares…?”

Tears prickled in the corners of their eyes. They sniffled and scrubbed the heel of hand against their skin again. Caleb had been right. They needed to be strong, if not for themself, then for Caleb, and Etsuko, and Zinaida.

“Whoever they’re, they… they took her from us. I want them to bring her back to us. I-I want her back. I want to visit Russia. I want to live in her castle. I-I want… You gotta understand me, you know? ‘Cause you loved her too, you know?”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb frowned deeply and laid Zinaida down. He wrapped his arms around Kiku and hugged them tightly, barely holding back his tears now. “Y-Your death is important! I-I don’t wanna lose you too!” Caleb choked back a sob and pulled them in tighter, “Please, the Monokumas will follow through with it, it is their rules and they seem really keen on them not being broken.” It made sense to Caleb that they’d follow through with it, but Kiku’s disbelief was enough to crack his belief a bit.

“I-I don’t think she’s coming back, but believe me, I wish she would. I wish this was some big joke a-and I wish she would sit up and reveal that was a fake sword and this whole thing was a joke, but...” He laughed pitifully. “Yeah, I know. Ella era como una hermana que nunca había tenido.” He whispered the Spanish, a few tears falling from his eyes before he buried his head into Kiku’s shoulder.

[shsl-toy-maker]

Nightmare Fuel // Open // Chapter 4

[shsl-toy-maker]

“There is no hope… Someone we trust killed the strongest person on this flying hell hole…” Etsuko mumbled, her eyes still unfocused. “You and Kiku need to live… Zinaida should have lived… I should have ignored Toshi and Kiku about my pills… Then Zinaida might still be alive…”

[shslyoutubegamer]

“What?” Caleb finally frowned, confusion written all over his face. “What about your pills? How would Zinaida be alive?” Caleb wasn’t even sure what to think about that. Zinaida was killed by a mastermind, what would pills have to do with it?

[shsl-toy-maker]

Nightmare Fuel // Open // Chapter 4

[shsl-toy-maker]

“I should’ve just stayed in bed…” Etsuko whispered, curling her legs up to her chest and her arms around her stomach. “Now we have no one to protect us…”

No one left to protect them. They were dead no matter what…

[shslyoutubegamer]

“That’s not true... Hachiro and Toshi are both fairly strong. And if anyone tries to hurt you I could stop them easier than you think.” Caleb gripped his right hand, expecting his cane to be in it before realizing he left it on the floor and barely avoiding frowning. 

“We’ll all be fine, Etsuko. I promise we’ll find the two who did this and they’ll pay.” He tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “Don’t lose hope because then they win.”

[shsl-caffeine-deactivated201611]

Who the Hell is Left? / Hachiro \ Open

Both of the masterminds had struck. Either that or the thought of having two masterminds had gotten two innocents to attack. At this point both were very valid options… But right now figuring out the motive wasn’t Hachiro’s top priority. His top priority at the moment was destroying whoever the hell had done this.

He grit his teeth together, slamming a fist against a wall hard enough to practically dent it. He let out a hard breath through his nose, closing his eyes as he attempted (uselessly) to calm himself down. 

“Two… fucking two…” he muttered, shaking his head. “Coulda fucking stopped this…” he added on quietly to himself.

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb felt dead and tired, emotionally and physically drained beyond belief, however, he still found himself more worried about others than himself. “H-Hey, Hachiro.” His cane arm shook slightly with stress, easily identifiable by the wooden objects tremors as he walked closer to the other boy.

“I-I don’t think this was in any of our control, as much as I wish it was.” His eyes flickered down to his blood covered clothes for a moment before his eyes trained back on Hachiro with a weak smile intended to be comforting. “W-We just need to investigate and find the two responsible...” His leg almost gave out, but he covered it as well as possible. “T-That’s all we can do now... Right?”

Then he paused. A weary look over his face.

“Two?

[shsl-toy-maker]

Nightmare Fuel // Open // Chapter 4

Etsuko let her legs collapse out from under her, her eyes growing blank and unfocused; blood. So much blood. Zinaida was dead. Caleb was sobbing. Toshi was screaming. Kiku had lost themself to despair.

Etsuko let herself fall over like a sack of rocks, her limbs felt like lead; she should have died. Not Zinaida. Not someone strong that protected everyone. Etsuko did nothing to help anyone. She couldn’t even protect the ones she cared about from cold blooded killers.

Etsuko didn’t even have the strength in her to cry anymore.

She just wanted to go back to sleep.

[shslyoutubegamer]

True to himself, Caleb had eventually managed to shove his feelings in a box and he moved away from Zinaida’s body to keep it that way. He noticed his cane a while away from himself, and as he pulled himself towards it he saw Etsuko.

“Etsuko?” Despite being covered in blood and feeling his leg throb in pain, he managed a comforting face as he approached the blonde, doing what he did best, comforting people when he really should be attending to his own feelings. “C’mere, dear.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Rip me friends

[shslyoutubegamer]

Everybody dies/Open/Chapter 4

[ultimateextremesportsstar]

Kiku blinked once, twice, but the picture in front of them didn’t disappear. Zinaida didn’t disappear from where she was laying on the floor of the kitchen. Zinaida’s sword didn’t disappear from where it had been wedged through her. Caleb still continued to cry. It was strange. It wasn’t disappearing. They didn’t understand why.

That was strange too. Their cheeks were wet. They up and rubbed the heel of their hand aggressively against them before pulling away and examining it. It was damp. They didn’t understand. Why would their hand be damp? Why would their cheeks be wet? Why would Zinaida be lying down with her own sword in her stomach? Why would Zinaida be dead? Zinaida wouldn’t be dead.

“H-Huh? H-How weird. Wh-Why would I be crying too? It isn’t like… It’s not like… It is… She is…”

A giggle interrupted them mid-sentence. They immediately slapped their hands against their mouth to stop them, but the giggles kept bubbling up inside of them, until they couldn’t keep them back, and they burst out into a giggling fit. In between the giggles, however, they forced one sentence out.

“I’ll kill them~!”

The giggles disappeared abruptly. Slowly, so not to disturb Caleb, they knelt over and rested their hand over top of his.

“I promise, whoever did this, I will kill them.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb hiccuped and looked up at Kiku with a shuddering breath. “W-We just have to find out who a-and vote them guilty. Don’t k-kill them personally or it causes your death too.” He shifted Zinaida in his arms a bit before looking up at them.

“I-It’s... We need... We need to be strong for her...” Caleb hiccuped again and took a deep breath, desperately trying to pull himself together. “She’d want us to figure out who did this... Not just stop everything...” He might have been trying to convince himself more as he looked down at her. “No matter how tempting that is...”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Everybody dies/Open/Chapter 4

[oh--the--pain--au--chocolat]

Toshi was an athiest; he’d never believed in any form of a God in his life nor had he ever relied on the existance of one enough to genuinely pray. But by god was he praying right now as he rushed towards the kitchen with all the speed he could gather,

“Don’t let her be dead, for the love of god, don’t let her be dead!”

However, it looks like he was right; there is no god. No god would let him see the scene he had dreaded seeing, no grand Deity would let his beloved go through this. No higher power would allow this to happen.

Turning the corner into the kitchen, Toshi felt his chest tighten and his bile rise. Zinaida was dead. His closest friend, dead. His head felt like it was submerged in water as his hearing blurred along with his vision while his legs gave out entirely. He’d never had to fight the urge to faint before, but he knew he had to. His fiance needed him. Toshi had to get to Caleb.

Gathering what strength he had, the chocolatier half walked- half dragged himself over to Caleb and wrapped his arms gently around the fragile youtuber. Seeing Zinaida’s body up close, hearing Caleb weeping over how he should’ve been the one to die, it sent Toshi into a flurry of tears as he hugged Caleb close and shakily patted the bluenett gently,

“I-I-I’m s-sorry, Caleb! Oh god, I’m s-so sorry! P-please! D-don’t say th-that! I-I n-need you! I-I w-won’t be able t-to cope if you’d d-died. P-please, d-don’t say s-such things!”

His voice was wavering to badly it felt like he was fighting the urge to be sick and pass out all at once between the sobs and panicked breaths.

“Z-Zinaida-! I-I’m sorry!! Ugh! I-I’m sorry!!!!“

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb leaned into Toshi, shifting Zinaida’s body in his arms slightly as he cried into his fiancee’s chest. He couldn’t believe it, Zinaida, the SHSL duelist, killed by her own sword. He let out a broken chuckle. It was too ironic for him.

“W-What are we gonna do, Toshi? She’s...” His grip on her tightened and he whimpered pathetically. Both the physical and emotional pain of the moment was near too much, and he knew it would be better if he went to investigate and make sure she was avenged. He clenched his teeth. That’s what she’d want, the culprit found. She wouldn’t want him hurting like this.

Shakily Caleb laid her body back against the floor before he turned back to see his cane where he’d fallen a few feet back. His vision trailed back to his lap and he realized that her blood had gotten on him. 

“W-We have to... We need to be strong for her... Investigate...” He pulled Toshi into his arms, pressing a kiss to his temple. “We need to try.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Everybody dies/Open/Chapter 4

Caleb stared at Zinaida’s body, feeling everything come crashing down. He fell, landing partially on his bad leg and yelping before crawling as best as he could to Zinaida’s body. Although he knew she was dead, he still placed a hand on her neck to check for a pulse and when he didn’t find one he began crying.

“Z-Zinaida, no!” Caleb pulled her onto his good leg and cradled her in his arms, ignoring the dull ache in his leg as he cried over her. It couldn’t be her. They couldn’t kill her. They should have killed him. 

“Z-Zinaida... Zinaida...” He continued to mumble her name non-stop, rocking her back and forth. “Z-Zinaida, please... You can’t... I need...” A sob broke through and he held her tighter. “Please... I need you...” His voice was quiet, barely able to be heard as he said that. “We all do...”

[shslyoutubegamer]

TITLES AMIRIGHT/closed for Zinaida/execution reaction

[zinaida-volkov-deactivated20160]

“Yeah, yeah I know. Jeez you two, moving so damn fast. At least I kept things family friendly with my girlfriend while she was around.”

Zinaida reached down, scooping her arms around Caleb’s shoulders and bodily hefting him up towards her chest, then lifting him up off the ground, and down onto his feet, or rather foot. Then she used her foot to kick the cane up, and hand it to him. “There you go, Caleb. You might need more help walking straight, though.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb smiled, unashamed of what he’d done. “But that’s not as fun.” He tottered on his one leg until Zinaida handed him his cane and he took a moment to stretch his legs out as well as he can. He almost hadn’t heard Zinaida’s joke on walking straight, but when he realized what she’d said he giggled. “As if I do anything straight anyway. Besides, who says I’d be the one with leg pain after that.”

[shslyoutubegamer]

I got 99 problems and two little SHITS are all of them/Open/Chapter 4

[shsl-toy-maker]

‘You can’t promise that…’ Etsuko thought to herself, but clung to Caleb still, trying her best not to weigh him down; she knew she’d already caused him enough trouble when he was constantly having to sit down with her… “O-Okay…”

[shslyoutubegamer]

“Besides Etsuko, I’m probably a bigger target. I can’t get around quickly and once my cane is gone I’m left to my strength alone, and although I am pretty strong, not being able to walk is a big factor.” Caleb remembers how much he believed he’d die in here in the beginning and the fact he wasn’t once even threatened (Aside from the small moment he was suspected in the first trial) was a miracle in itself.

[shslyoutubegamer]

I got 99 problems and two little SHITS are all of them/Open/Chapter 4

[shsl-toy-maker]

“It d-doesn’t matter a-anyways… T-The bear’s right… T-there’s so few o-of us now… I’m p-probably not g-going… G-Going t-… To ha-have t-to w-worry ab-bout tha-that soon…!” She whimpered, hugging Caleb closer. “I-I’ll be next… A-And it-it’ll be be-because I’m we-weak and s-small… I-I won’t fi-fight back… A-And th-they’ll kn-know it…”

[shslyoutubegamer]

Caleb frowned. “Etsuko, nothing is going to happen to you. I promise you’ll live.” In Caleb’s inner turmoil, he’d begun braiding bits of Etsuko’s hair. “If you don’t feel safe at any point you are fully welcome to just hang out with me. There’s safety in numbers.”