A MEME FOR THE SHIT ME AND MY COWORKERS SAY.
because working at a gas station is a complete joy.
❛ i’m gonna go pee before i get mad. ❜ ❛ it’s like … she wants it , but she’s a bitch about it. ❜ ❛ i’m gonna go smoke a cigarette and cry. ❜ ❛ did you know you could shoot flies with salt ? ❜ ❛ oh my god , you got zesty sauce on my hat. this was fifty dollars. ❜ ❛ please stop trying to staple me. ❜ ❛ god , everything smells like beer. is this what college is like ? ❜ ❛ do you ever think people wonder about gas station employees ? do people think they’re real ? ❜ ❛ would you cry if i died ? ❜ ❛ would you cry at my funeral ? ❜ ❛ oh no , there’s no 89 cent kitkats left. ❜ ❛ i’ve done a lot of drugs in my day , but i still have half a brain. ❜ ❛ god , my feet hurt. my legs hurt. my old man bones ache. ❜ ❛ stop slurping your drink , you disgusting animal. ❜ ❛ oh my god , do NOT spray windex in your mouth. ❜ ❛ dear lord in heaven , please give me the strength to not pop a bitch in the mouth. ❜ ❛ yo , can you play some alanis morissette ? i love that woman. ❜ ❛ the lottery drawing is tonight , you know what that means ? we’re all still poor. ❜ ❛ quit popping your hips at me ! ❜ ❛ i have a crush on the sonic manager. ❜ ❛ give me a cigarette right now , i need to abuse my lungs. ❜ ❛ what do you dream about ? ❜ ❛ ah , fuck me , i got coffee in my shoe. ❜ ❛ we’re out of small cups , call the authorities. ❜ ❛ quit acting like a brat , you’re a grown ass man ! ❜ ❛ go home , it’s 9am. ❜ ❛ the halloween displays are already up , somebody’s eager around here. ❜ ❛ that just means you’re closer to death. ❜ ❛ gross , put your tongue back in your mouth. ❜ ❛ motherfucker , you are NOT looking healthy. ❜ ❛ that fucker about died on me ! ❜ ❛ quick , i need two fifty dollar bills ! ❜ ❛ don’t talk to me , i’m not from here. ❜ ❛ i do not smoke the devil’s cabbage. ❜ ❛ willy wonka wouldn’t treat me this way — wait , yes he would. ❜ ❛ i’m in love with the idea of sitting. ❜