Hello and Welcome to this mess of a blog! I’m Shy, a 22 year old amateur fanfic writer and cartoonist with the power to procrastonate, get easily distracted and suddenly become obsessed with too many things at once! Currently obsessed with: DCMK, One Piece, Pokemon, Mario and many other random things and fandoms.
Welcome back for week 19 of the Case Closed Movie Ranking!
This week, we are back on the seas to take a look at movie 11: Jolly Roger of the Deep Azure.
Spoilers as per usual
I heard this one was the worst of these movies.
I didn’t think it would be super bad, since even the worst of these movies (in my opinion) have been entertaining in some way, even if not in the way they were intended. And I’ve seen some really bad movies in the past (my brother likes to watch those channels that watch really old/very indie, obscure, bad movies, and I’ll watch with him sometimes), so I didn’t think this would be that bad.
However…
… I unironically have nothing to say about this film.
There is nothing to say, because there is nothing in this film worth talking about. Nothing happens in it. Nothing overly positive. Nothing overly negative. Just. Nothing.
This movie made me feel nothing.
And that is somehow worse than any of the previous movies that have pissed me off in some way shape or form. It’s somehow worse than any of the terrible movies I’ve watched with my brother! At least those made me feel something. At least I got to sit there and feel something, even if those feelings were super negative or ironically hilarious.
… I don’t think I’ve ever watched a movie that has made me feel like I wasted more time watching it than this one has.
How do you make a plot about pirates and treasure hunting boring?! Genuinely how?!?!
Okay, okay, I do have some extremely minor things to talk about.
Sato and Takagi were great in the very limited screen time they had. Sato has no right being as cool as she was during the extremely short car chase at the beginning of the film and Takagi is the most golden retriever coded man I have ever seen. They make me happy, and they get, like, two scenes to do anything.
The only other semi-positive thing I have to say is Ai pointing in a random direction to get Mouri to turn around for two seconds, just to make a clue more obvious, got a chuckle out of me.
… That’s all I got.
The mystery? Predictable as hell and just overall uninteresting. You have the most obviously obvious evil dudes that don’t give a shit that their buddy died and just proceed to look for this stupid treasure that someone is trying to clearly sabotage them for. And the twist? Not even a surprise and it was probably the most obvious twist they could have gone with. They also don’t do anything with it. There isn’t even really a confrontation. Conan goes, “You are the mastermind behind the murder and all the other weird stuff!” And the guy basically goes, “Yeah, pretty much, now can you get me out of this cave? I don’t want to die.”
The treasure hunt side-plot? Uninteresting and not fun to follow at all. You can’t solve any of the puzzles before the characters do, since it’s based on various locations on the island we don’t really explore aside from the clue sections as their being explained/discovered (which like, they are visiting this island, how the hell do they find where the clues are talking about like at all? These clues are for people who are, at the very least, familiar with the island and it's lore. These kids shouldn't be finding these clues as quickly as they are, unless this island is far smaller than I was led to believe), and it’s not like the explanations of the puzzles were that fun either. It was just kind of another element to keep track of in this film. That and the solution to the main clue of the treasure hunt is so dumb. Why did the mastermind give this 300 year old puzzle to children to solve when he couldn’t even do it himself? It wasn’t even that much of a puzzle!?
I don’t know how they made character interactions boring… but they sure did! I genuinely can not think of anything specific anybody did with another character this entire movie aside from what I’ve already talked about. I think Sonoko teased Ran at some point at the beginning of the film about Shinichi, but that’s pretty much it (except for the really forced, “the two female pirates/friends fought back to back” bit at the end, but it was so predictable, weirdly written, and out of pocket that I’m not counting it).
… I genuinely can’t think of anything else to say.
This was a complete waste of time and made me feel empty, inside and out.
Do not watch this one, wholeheartedly. It is not worth your time.
Rating: Burn In Hell (F)
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Sorry this one was so negative. I genuinely try to be positive with these reviews or at least get my grievances out in either a constructive or funny way, but this movie just literally had nothing going for it. Next week will be more positive, I promise.
Speaking of next week, we are finally leaving the sea behind us and moving onto the world of music with Movie 12: Full Score of Fear.
hey can everyone do me a favor and put in the tags why they chose their name? even if you don't go by a chosen name irl, you can put why you chose your online name.
Hello yellow everyone! Welcome back to the Case Closed Movie Ranking!
This week, we will taking a look at movie 9: Strategy Above the Depths!
WARNING: Major spoilers ( even more so than usual) in this review (Like, I reveal the culprit in this one)
Deep breath in….
Deep breath out…
…
Let’s do this
We’ll start this off with the complaints.
The mystery. It was stupid. Like really stupid. I genuinely cannot express how bored I was throughout the entire film in regards to the mystery, purely because of how they handled it. This was handled similarly to The Phantom of Baker Street, we have more of a how-done-it/characters figuring out the mystery we are already aware of. Similar to my feelings on Phantom of Baker Street, I don’t think this approach works very well with this movie. Like, it could have worked, as I kind of like following the characters as they figure out what we already know… but this was somehow worse than Phantom Baker Street. You want to know why? Not only is the investigation really boring, but they try to throw in an “interesting” plot twist that makes absolutely no sense.
So, early on in the film, it’s made fairly obvious that the culprit’s assistant is at least an accomplice. They even make a comment about it before pushing that possibility out the window for some stupid reason. But whatever, if they want to go in that direction, maybe they’ll do something interesting with it. And they do… in the worst way possible.
Instead of being an accomplice, the culprit's assistant saw the guy making his plans and went ‘Oh, I can get my revenge using this plan!’ She then proceeds to steal the kill of all the people the not-culprit was already going to kill, and hides the fact that she did so from the guy by pretending to be the target she had just murdered. She then helped the fake culprit not get murdered and hid that fact from him as well, making him think he killed both targets when he actually didn’t.
…
I’m sorry?!
Why would she do any of this?! Like this guy was already planning to murder these people. If she really wanted to kill the people herself, she could have just become an accomplice and talked to the guy about implementing her into the plot. But no. She decided to make her own flipping plan, get her own hands bloody for literally no reason and make this overly complicated plan to do so. Why? Genuinely why? WHY NOT JUST WORK WITH THE GUY WHO ALREADY HAD A SOLID PLAN?! NOW YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL FOR TWO COUNTS OF MURDER WHILE HE GETS AWAY WITH (at worst) TWO COUNTS OF ATTEMPTED MURDER!
*sigh*
Moving on.
The amount of stupidity that some of these characters exude in this film actually drives me up a freaking wall. Like the fact that the police get into a boat to catch up to the kids after the chase sequence (we’ll come back to this), proceed to scold them (rightfully so), and then remember, “Oh yeah, there are bombs going off on the ship, we should probably do something about that.” Did y’all really forget that bombs had just exploded on the ship or the fact that the smug asshole of a culprit admitted that there were more bombs? Seriously?
Ran.
I love you.
I really do.
But why the actual HELL are you going back for a freaking BRACELET, on a RAPIDLY SINKING SHIP! ARE YOU STUPID?!?!?!?!?
And then they don’t wait for her to come back? Or question the fact that she never returns until it's almost too late to do anything? ARE Y’ALL MORONS!?
Going back to the chase sequence quickly… What the actual hell was the purpose of that? They chase the fake culprit in motor boats for literally not even two minutes… Did we really need to do that? It wasn’t even that cool. It kind of just happens and ends as quickly as it starts.
Also, before we move into the positives, this isn’t a complaint, but why is there a morgue on this cruise ship? Like why would you need one on a cruise liner of all things?
(Post Shy here. Did a little research, and yeah, this is actually a pretty normal thing you can find on major cruise liners. This is because death, while not commonplace, can occur and the morgue is used to handle these extreme situations discreetly and efficiently, … this movie made me learn something… congratulations.)
Okay… Positives.
Returning characters. I liked them. I liked them a lot. Honestly, only redeeming quality. And I’ll admit, it’s a BIG redeeming quality. Like, looking back through my notes, the majority of them are about character interactions up until the last half hour.
I’ll start with Ran and Shinichi/Conan. They were fun. Aside from Ran’s stupidity at the end of the film, they were just very cute throughout the film. I find it hilarious that we weren’t even five minutes into the film and we were already having a ShinRan flashback. The scene was adorable, so I’m not complaining. Ran is so down bad for her deduction freak, it’s not even funny and vice versa. I also find it hilarious that Conan is awful at Hide and Seek (the irony of this is hilarious), while Ran is an absolute master if Shinichi isn’t seeking. I find it really fitting for both of them. They were cute, ‘nough said.
The kids. I don’t think they really needed to be here plot wise. They didn’t really do anything for the investigation whatsoever, aside from starting the hide and seek game. However, I really like the vibe they brought to the entire film. I just like seeing them be friends with everyone and their sincerity (The fact they all call Conan out for his very obvious crush on Ran made me laugh out loud). Not the best implementation of them, but I like them here more than I have in films like Phantom of Baker Street, Crossroad in the Ancient Capital or even Last Wizard.
Sonoko was fun too. Similar to the kids, she didn’t really do anything plot wise aside from accidentally witnessing part of the crime and then confirming the fake culprit. But also, similar to the kids, she just brought good vibes. While she isn’t one of my top favorites, I love Sonoko and I don’t think I’ve watched a movie where her implementation hasn’t been fun, even if she isn’t necessary for the plot to progress. So, she was great, as usual.
The absolute highlight, character wise, surprisingly goes to Kogoro in this one. I don’t know if I’ve made it clear in past reviews, but I like Kogoro when he’s written in a way that portrays his competence despite him not being as much of a super genius as the kid/teenage detectives he accidentally surrounds himself with. And this movie does a really good job of that. Don’t get me wrong, I get he’s supposed to be a rather dim character to contrast how smart the other characters are and give Shinichi a way to deduce things without making it redundant, as well as being the butt of jokes, however, I love when they show that he is a respected detective for a reason and can be really good at it when he actually puts in the effort. You can just tell throughout the movie that Kogoro is onto something. They don’t spell it out. They don’t even bring much attention to it. There are just moments in this film where Kogoro stops and stares for a moment before they make a joke of it, usually because a lot of what he was observing were women. They then turn it on its head when he directly confronts the real culprit during the climax. I was genuinely cheering when Conan wasn’t the one making the deduction, since we already know how Conan deduced who the culprit was. We get to see how Kogoro deduced what had happened and used what he and he alone could have observed to reach the conclusion he did. Then the culprit beats the shit out of him which then leads to Kogoro freaking one shotting her. It was awesome.
I was unironically going to put this in the Not For Me Tier purely because of Kogoro, but I just can’t put this any higher than What Did I Just Watch. I just can’t. Even though I think the characters do a decent job of carrying this film, the other main parts of these movies (the mystery and the action set pieces) are either really boring at best or infuriating at worst. And while I did like the characters and the various moments of their interactions in this movie, the in-between parts are just plain forgettable and the mystery was predictable/horribly handled. I did not enjoy the majority of this film. I’m sorry if you like this one.
Rating: ...What did I just Watch (D)
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Sorry for this getting out so late! I forgot to schedule the post and got fairly busy today. For next week’s movie, we’ll be staying on the seas to take a peek at movie 11: Jolly Roger of the Deep Azure.
Ladies and Gentleman, welcome back to week 17 of the Case Closed Movie Ranking! This week, I bring forth the ranking of the next Kaito Kid film on my list with movie 8: Magician of the Silver Sky!
Spoilers ahead, so proceed with caution!
This is another movie people apparently really like…
Uh…
…
Kaito is in this one.
Anyway, actually moving into the review.
This is a Kaito heist film, at least to start.
The opening bit with Conan freaking the frick out because his grown ass self just kind of shows up with no warning is really funny. The fact that Conan also just sputters over himself while trying to explain that ‘Shinichi’ wasn’t Shinichi without giving up the reason why he knows this is really amusing too. Kaito is such a menace for pulling that crap. He gets to be so smug behind everyone’s backs and openly flirts with Shinichi’s girlfriend (crush?) because he knows Conan can’t call him out at all. It is hilarious. And then the small chase? Chef’s kiss (though Conan, I question your methods. Yeeting yourself off a building to snipe the guy who would try to save you? While falling from a tall building?! You reckless little squirt!).
Also, can I mention how cute the nickname “Sneak-Thief” is? I want more Sneak-Thief content, plz (🥺)!
After this entire sequence though, we kind of fell into the problem I had with the first few films. The middle was so dang slow! As soon as they make it onto the air plane, straight up nothing happens for a solid 20 minutes. Sure, you could say it’s set up for the coming mystery, but we’ll get to my problems with that in a second. Let’s just say that those 20 minutes are almost a complete waste of time.
Also, why were the children invited to the cast’s exclusive after party? Ran and Conan I get, since they are with Kogoro, and Sonoko I also get, because she’s freaking rich, but the children? The professor? Why?! These rich jerks didn’t invite their own cast members, so why are these (to them) random children invited? That brings up the additional question, why was Eri necessary in this film? I get that Ran wants to try and get her parents back together, but Eri is only here for one actual plot point reason (which, again, we’ll get to) and she falls under the category of, why is she allowed in the first class exclusive flight? None of these characters are really necessary for this film to work and are kind of just here for being here sake.
Also also, Kaito’s disguise is so freaking obvious. Conan, why did you not immediately spot him and call him out, especially after realizing Kaito’s calling card was in relation to the plane ride? It is actually ridiculous how long Kaito lasts before anyone even brings up the fact that he is there.
Then, literally out of nowhere, the main lady (who is an absolute b**** by the way) freaking dies. This is the mystery of the film. And it gets solved in 10 minutes. I’m not even joking (I timed it).
The mystery of this film, you know, the thing that puts this franchise in the mystery genre, shows up and is solved within 10 minutes… 10 minutes of a 1 hour and 45 minute film. Are you kidding me? On top of that, as soon as they brought up that cyanide was used, I knew exactly what and who had killed the woman. So, for me at least, the mystery, straight up, wasn't a mystery whatsoever. This entire sequence is used to set up the climax, but it is so stupid and quick, I was left blinking at how quickly everything was resolved.
This is also the only reason Eri is here… which she honestly doesn’t even need to be here for. Kogoro was literally right there! Eri’s existence is literally to be used as a puppet to solve this mystery and then she is passed out for the rest of the film. She is, quite literally, written out of the rest of the film. WHY WAS SHE HERE?!
And then the two pilots go down…
…You know what? I’m just going to put here what I wrote in my notes, word for word, because it completely explains my opinion of the following scene:
“Wait, how do you (Conan) know that the pilots kissed her (the lady’s) hand? From where you were sitting, you shouldn’t have been able to see that entire interaction! There is an entire curtain and door blocking your view!”
The scene:
What Conan can see of said scene:
The math ain't mathing, chief.
“Are we just not going to question the fact that we’re letting a 7 year old help fly this plane? Like, Kaito I get because he knows who Conan actually is, but everyone else? You're all just going to let this literal child fly this plane with a whole ton of innocent lives at stake? SERIOUSLY?!”
After this point, we hit the climax portion of the film, and, like everything else in this film, it’s just kind of alright. Kaito and Conan banter is fun, if brief. The fact that everything starts to go completely wrong because some clumsy geezer accidentally hits the absolute worst button to press is kind of ridiculous, but on par with this franchise. I find the tension of not only losing fuel but also the imminent crash stressful and interesting. And then we get to Ran and Sonoko having to land the plane.
Kaito is such a troll. He calls over Ran, basically goes, “Okay, I’m done here, have fun,” and then proceeds to yeet himself out of the plane. I love this little sassy drama queen so much. Highlight of the film right there.
Also, the fact Nakamori was basically chasing a cosplayer for the majority of this film is hilarious to me. Not really that relevant to the review, but it was funny enough to be mentioned lol. I love how Kaito uses this little side plot to assist the girls in landing the plane. What a gentleman.
After that, the movie is pretty standard. Ran is a badass, with the addition of Sonoko (yay!). There is a kind of last minute love confession that’s really cute, if a bit tacked on (I’ll let it slide this time (≖_≖ )). We then get the little wrap up of the culprit from the earlier murder getting arrested and quick check in with everyone. The film officially ends with a fun little interaction between Kaito and Ran.
Overall, this film is mostly just fine. This feels more like an extended episode than an actual movie aside from the fact there are higher stakes than normal by the end of it. I actually think it would have been better that way, as it would have cut a lot of the meaninglessness of the middle portion out of the film. I also think they should have spent more time making a more interesting murder case as it just wasn’t important to what the film was going for, which kind of made all the new characters (who were supposed to be suspects) completely pointless, even as suspects, simply because of how quickly the murder gets solved. Or not including a murder at all and turning the mystery of the film into a guessing game of who is Kaito Kid.
I don't have much else to say honestly. Sorry if you like this one, but this one just wasn’t for me.
Rating: Wasn’t for Me (C-)
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Next week, we'll be taking what is hopefully (but unlikely) to be a chill cruize as we take a look at Movie 9: Strategy Above the Depths.
Welcome one and all to week 16 of the Case Closed Movie Ranking!
This week will be the first week of us returning to the movies I initially skipped! This means we are jumping all the way back to movie 7: Crossroad in the Ancient Capital.
Spoiler warning as per usual and this review is rather long, so... um... sorry.
(Yo, current Shy here! For a bit of context, I took about a month long break in between watching last film and this one. During that time period I decided I wanted to handle how I go about reviewing/ranking these films a little differently. So I started taking notes while watching the films, to help keep track of thoughts, theories and important details. As you'll probably notice, this has changed how I format and write future rankings. Nothing extreme is going to change but I figured it was worth mentioning for future installments of this series)
So, after taking a month long break from these movies (as of writing this), I’m back for the second go through to watch all the movies I originally skipped over. And this one wasn’t that great of a start lol.
Let me get the positives out of the way first before I start complaining.
Heiji is in this film… ‘nough said.
In all seriousness though, Heiji is probably the main reason I have any positive opinion about this film. I’m biased because he is my favorite character, so him showing up at all is immediately a plus. However, I just think he’s a really fun character to follow, even if some of the stuff they do with him in this film is kind of stupid (we’ll get to that). Him and Conan interacting is gold. They are such trolls to one another. The banter these two have is just really good, like always, and they just, in general, work really well together, both as detectives, but also friends. They’re a ton of fun, no matter what movie they are in.
I also get to watch Heiji kick ass and get his ass kicked, so… automatic win for badassery and whump! Like, this kid has absolutely no self-preservation. Bro goads a killer into trying to slash his throat after he loses his weapon. Then he later proceeds to escape the hospital he was just admitted to due to passing out from his injuries, just to run around and save his best friend and girlfriend. How can a character be so smart and observant, but simultaneously be so incredibly stupid and reckless. I love him so much. Also, the baby version of him, from the various flashbacks, is really cute!
Kazuha was also fun. I don’t have as much to say about her, but I generally like her character. Seeing her run around this movie being incredibly down bad for her best friend while also being jealous is really funny. I like her and Heiji’s dynamic. I know they get together eventually in the manga, so I’m happy for them. They are cute, your honor (I don’t care if they are basic, they are cute).
That’s where my praise kind of ends. I’m going to be kind of jumping all over the place for this, so bear with me a little bit…
This case is so incredibly slow and boring. I felt like most of what was going on was either not that interesting or wasted time. Nothing was really happening for a while and then Heiji almost gets shot, which brings a bit of intrigue as to why he is potentially a target. But they don’t really talk about it until Heiji almost gets murdered a second time twenty minutes later. And that’s what happens with 90% of the clues. I don’t know, I don’t have a lot to say on it aside from the fact that I just did not engage with the mystery whatsoever, nor did I care.
I normally love chase sequences, especially with vehicles. If you do them right, they are high octane, adrenaline rushes that are quick, snappy, and usually visual delights. The two in this one were extremely lame. It does not help that some of the chase sequences are done with CGI. There is nothing wrong with that, as I feel like Detective Conan typically uses CGI decently well in their movies for quick cuts and backgrounds for high speed action. This was not the case in this film. Usually I can just ignore it, especially in action pieces, but in this movie, it was just really distracting. It was clunky and really in your face, so I couldn’t ignore it, and it made watching the scenes kind of aggravating.
Also, can we talk about how the culprit took out a bow, mid motorcycle chase and tried to shoot someone point blank?! Like what the actual heck!? I don’t care how skilled you are at bow and arrow, that’s just ludicrous!
Some of the characters really didn’t need to be here. Kogoro and Ran are kind of a necessity, so they get a pass for being here. Sonoko also gets a pass, because she’s just a joy to have along for gossip. But everyone else? Why were they here? Megure and his group don’t really need to be here, because we have the Chipmunk detective and the Osaka police, so Megure’s group feels like they are just there for familiarity (though I will say that Shiratori is my favorite police adjacent character. I don’t know why. It’s just what my notes for this movie said). The kids really didn’t need to be here, along with Haibara and the professor (they were literally here for one purpose, and, oh, we will be getting to that). They all either felt really tacked on or that their purposes were already being fulfilled by a different character and they felt redundant as a result.
As much as I like Heiji in this film, the whole thing with his “First Love,” was really stupid. I think the only really good thing that came out of it was the fact that Conan makes fun of him for it near the beginning of the film (he did the exact same thing I did when I first realized where this was going). I also immediately called the “twist” that Heiji just saw young Kazuha. I think it would have been more interesting if Heiji had accidentally witnessed the robbery without really realizing it and the kid he saw happened to be someone involved with the crime or something. I don’t know, it just felt kind of stupid and didn’t go anywhere that interesting, aside from the fact the entire misunderstanding surrounding the “gift” he found at the scene and later looking for this “first love” led to him having a target on his back. It was just really dumb.
Also, why the hell did we bring Shinichi into this film? I felt like a lot of this film had a lot of elements that were tacked on for run time sake and fanservice, but this one just takes the cake. As soon as I realized that Conan had taken a temporary cure my reaction was (and this was taken directly from my notes), “Are we seriously pulling the Kudo card right now?!” I guess they were hinting about this possibility throughout the film with all the times Ran reminisces about Shinichi showing up just when he is needed, but really? This is the situation we feel like is necessary for a temporary cure?! A temporary cure would have made sense during movies like “Black Iron Submarine” or even freaking “Requiem of the Detectives,” but this is the movie we pick to use that plot point in? Seriously?! It was really stupid and frankly unnecessary because Heiji literally shows up not even five minutes later.
And the scene with Ran and fully grown Shinichi? Normally, I can let that go, because I generally like their scenes since it's usually a cute interaction. But this one? This one just pisses me off. Oh hi Ran! Sorry I got to dip after literally seeing you for one second. Proceeds to knock her out. Was this scene really necessary to put in the MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING CLIMAX!?
Speaking of the climax, it was really dumb too. We already talked about Shinichi, but the rest of it was kind of dumb too. Conan’s grand plan to draw attention to the temple was to set the forest on fire. You know, the temple everyone was going to anyway. The temple that had a clear path up to it… Yeah, real genius plan there. Oh, and let's not forget the scene with Kazuha and Heiji in the storeroom. We have to find the specific sword box to stop the culprit, who is currently breaking down the door, by using the really stupid song we’ve been repeating non-stop throughout this film and the convoluted picture puzzle. NO, YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS! YOU ARE ABOUT TO FREAKING DIE! JUST START OPENING BOXES!! DON’T JUST STAND THERE! START BRUTE FORCING THE DANG THING!!!
Anyway, the camera work/choreography throughout this entire sequence was either nauseating at worst or just really boring at best. Is the murder cult just that stupid? Is the culprit just that stupid? It was really dumb and the entire climax was honestly just the most lackluster climax I have seen in any of these movies, including “Phantom of Baker Street.” At least the entire train climax of that movie was mildly entertaining, even if the choices made during that scene were equally as dumb as this one.
So where am I ranking this?
I was honestly debating on putting this one at the bottom of “Not for Me” purely because Heiji is such a joy in this film and he absolutely carries, but, honestly, the more I think about this film and its entirety, the more I think that it fits better at the top of the “...What Did I Just Watch” tier. I had more enjoyment watching this film than Baker Street at least, even if that enjoyment is purely because of one character and finding some parts ironically funny. Maybe it’ll move up when I finish these rankings, but for now, I think it’s best here. Not a great film, but definitely not the worst this franchise has to offer.
Rating: …What Did I Just Watch (D)
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For next week's ranking, it's about time we took back to the skies to see our favorite magician in Movie 8: Magician of the Silver Sky!
Hello everybody and welcome back for week 15 of the Case Closed Movie Ranking! This week, we are tackling the most recent (as of writing this review) movie in this franchise, Movie 28: One-Eyed Flashback.
Spoilers ahead, as per usual!
I really liked this one.
The setting was nice and while this isn’t the first snowy environment we’ve seen, I like the different flavor we have with the observatory. Learning about all the different technologies (the satellites, satellite dishes, star laser pointer, and the avalanche sensors) was really cool and it helped flesh out not only what was important to the mystery and later climax, but also the environment.
The mystery was interesting and had me floored with who the culprit was (In a very good way). It wasn’t too complicated, so I had an easy time following it, despite all the new information that was being thrown in my general direction, but still had twists and turns I didn’t see coming. I don’t really have a whole lot to say on that matter without completely spoiling the entire plot, but I will say, it was surprisingly really good! The action was also really good, which I think is helped by the general animation quality of this film. There are just shots of this film that are just gorgeous or certain scenes with strangely fluid movements that are completely unnecessary but really good looking.
I feel like these last few movies have had fairly standard usage of the kids, but this one actually used them in a way I wasn’t expecting. Like, they actually show off how smart these kids are and do something that only they can do which is a rarity for these films (And something I think the kids need more credit for). And, they just bring a cozy vibe to a rather depressing mystery too, ya know? Like, this entire case is about a theft gone wrong, suicide, attempted murder, shootings, etc. and then you have the kids in one corner just excitedly squealing about stars. I love them so freaking much.
The other detectives were really cool, I liked them a lot. I believe they are side characters since I’ve seen them in the past, but they're one of those ones that are rare to see, so I really liked spending time with them as characters. Even though I don’t know these characters that well, I love how much we dive into each of them, even without the additional context canon probably gives you. I think my favorite out of the three is Kansuke, since he’s really cool and capable, despite his disabilities (which is badass). I like how much we dive into his background and how the mystery almost completely surrounds him, which includes the case that made him lose his eye (I don’t know if this explanation is canon or not, but it’s cool regardless). The other detectives are also neat, I just don’t have much to say about either of them. They were nice to meet and learn more about regardless.
Also, I just have to mention that the image of Conan in the bow scarf was making rounds when I was originally doing a comb through of fanart on tumblr like two weeks prior to watching this film, and holy cow was it adorable to see this super serious kid, just walk around with this stupid bow scarf for the entire film. Like, he straight up refused to take it off because Ran did it up for him. These two give me cuteness aggression, I swear to god.
… I can’t really think of anything super flawed here, other than maybe the two fake deaths that are obviously fake because, uh, you can’t kill off recurring characters in these movies (what would the children watching think!). I also think some of the pacing in the middle is… wonky. There were just points in the middle portion of the film that completely lost me, when it came to certain aspects that I know are just me problems. Like, at one point, in a scene with one of the two fake deaths, we get this part where one of the detectives is talking to someone who had previously died (his brother, if I’m remembering correctly), and like, the scene is nice and all, but I think it drags just a tad too long for my liking. It doesn’t really help that I didn’t really feel anything for this clearly emotional scene. I know that’s just a me issue, since long time fans probably know the context behind this scene far better than I do, and this is probably some really good character building, but I lack that context and that affects my viewing experience. Again, it was a nice scene, and I’m not complaining about its inclusion, but it just goes on for a little too long for my taste. And I felt like a few other scenes, especially during the middle portion, fall into this similar category. Again, this is just a me issue, and I damn well know that.
Anyway, I hate ending on a negative note, so, I want to discuss the absolute highlight of this film, which surprisingly goes to Kogoro. I like Kogoro as a character, but with a lot of these movies (and canon too, let’s be real), he’s usually quickly removed from the plot or the butt of a bunch of jokes (which is fine, I don’t dislike that and it’s not something that usually bothers me). However, in this movie, they do something really different with him and I think it’s the best thing this movie does. Kogoro is immediately tied into this case emotionally, in a way I don’t think I’ve ever seen from him before. Like, he straight up cries within the first ten minutes of the film. Excuse me?! He is taking this seriously from the very beginning, which the only other time where I feel like I’ve seen him even close to this serious was during Requiem of the Detectives, but I think it’s much better handled here. He took the entire case seriously, from start to finish, and he actually solved the fudging crime (like, everyone contributed to the final deduction, but this is such a rare blatant call out from Kogoro [who straight up noticed something no one else had], that I had to point it out)! He also saves everyone, not once, but fudging twice and doesn’t immediately start bragging about it afterward. He helps end the freaking climax, and then it’s nonchalantly revealed that he saved them all from the avalanche from earlier in the film, which he straight up doesn’t take credit for. Why was Kogoro so good in this film?! I loved seeing this other side to him and I hope to see it again, either in the manga, or in future films.
Ugh, I don’t know where to rate this one! Like I think it’s better than most of the other movies in Right Up My Alley, but I don’t think it’s quite up there with Perfection Incarnate! What to do, what to do…
You know what? This is MY list, I can do whatever the frick I want!
New tier: Absolute Must Watch (S) and you know what? I felt pretty much the same way with The Million-Dollar Pentagram, so it can also get bumped up! I don’t know which of these two movies is better. It might just be recency bias, but I think this one might be better, but eh, that opinion could change (Current Shy here and yeah, no, these two movies keep flip flopping for me, so I still don’t know which one I like more, lol).
Anyway, my point is, this one is really good. Give it a shot if you haven’t already. It was a really fun watch, from start to end.
Rated: Absolute Must Watch (S)
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Next week, we are jumping all the way back to start, to go through all of the movies I originally skipped over! This second go through will be starting with Movie 7: Crossroad in the Ancient Capital!
Welcome back, one and all to the Case Closed Movie Ranking!
Sorry for bailing on y'all last week. I just got so busy and overwhelmed that I didn't have time to work on getting screenshots and the post ready in time! However, after that break, I'm back with the review for the much anticipated Movie 27: The Million-Dollar Pentagram!
Spoilers below as per usual!
The entirety of this film is just loads of fun, from start to finish.
I don’t even know where to start… Okay, that’s a lie, I know exactly where to start.
Automatic 10/10 film, it has both Heiji and Kaito in it. Like, legitimately, this movie is made for me. You have my two absolute favorite characters in this movie, interacting for more than five minutes of the film and they are both just an absolute gold mine of moments in this movie. And mixing them both up with Conan is just fantastic.
The three of them make this movie what it is and it really shows.
Let’s talk Heiji first, since he’s my favorite (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝).
Heiji is peak this movie. This film just makes me love him so much more. If I didn’t already think he was my favorite, he definitely is after this one. He’s just really cool, a funny dude, and absolute simp for his not-girlfriend. He’s such a dork. But he is also straight up just the biggest bro on the planet. And he has chemistry with literally everyone. You put him in a room with any of these bozos and it’s going to be a very pleasant interaction, the funniest thing this movie has to offer, or an extremely badass action scene. Like somewhere in the first half of the film, there is a scene where he is talking to Ran. Ran starts the conversation off by calling Heiji out on his bullcrap about chasing Kaito around the city, when in reality he was looking for a spot to ask Kazuha out on a date. He then freaking asks her, to her face, if the spot they are discussing is on par or better than Big Ben (where I guess Shinichi asked Ran out). It’s such a cute conversation, and most interactions with Heiji are similar to this in vibe. I love it.
This kid also has absolutely no self preservation skills whatsoever. My guy decides the best way to slow down the culprit during the climax of the film, was to not only play chicken with a motorcycle and prop plane but also to yeet himself off said motorcycle to grab onto the aforementioned plane… and then proceed to have a sword fight on top of the plane. Heiji, how are you so cool? This is even bringing up the chase with Kid at the beginning which was equally as cool.
Okay, Kid time.
Bro was put through the wringer this movie. First, we have his heist clearly not going as well as he had hoped, almost had his identity revealed, dealt with the mafia (multiple times), got attacked by a sword freak, and then watched his friend/rival/father figure? get shot. Give this kid a break! At least he got what he wanted by the end of the film and he seemed pretty happy, despite the horrors. Anyway, he was great. His sass and dramatics returns and I can not be more happy. I like that we get to see a more vulnerable side to him especially after the inspector gets shot. I don’t know all the characters on his side of the plot super well yet, but I’m glad I got to see them and his interactions with them despite the circumstances. My only complaint is I wish there was more of it. It was great in the dosage we got, but now I crave more Kaito Kid angst!
However, the absolute highlight of this film was the dynamics. I already really like the Heiji and Conan dynamic (which is just reiterated and expanded upon throughout this film), but toss Kaito in there with them and you have pure gold. Heiji having a grudge against Kid for something he did prior to the events of the film (I’m assuming from the manga/anime) is really funny to me. The fact that they have to team up multiple times throughout the film, despite this fact, is hilarious. Them teaming up was really cool to see, since you have three super genius children, each with different knowledge pools and specialties, each bouncing information off of each other and giving each other hints for how to proceed. Then there is the whole thing where Kaito shows up as one of Heiji’s classmates during the beginning of the primary investigation. Heiji and Conan immediately clock his presence (like, Kaito is not even trying to hide the fact that he’s there), and then they proceed to do nothing about it except glare holes into him as he follows them around for a while. I freaking loved it. I love them all your honor, and together, they are nigh unbeatable!
Since we’re on the topic of characters, I’ll just do a quick speed through the ones I feel are worth noting. Ran, the #1 Heizuha shipper on the planet. Even though she wasn’t really active in the mystery side of things, I love that she is out just trying to get these two morons together. It was funny and really sweet (I can imagine her disappointment when finding out the plan didn’t work because of circumstances lol). Kazuha wasn’t really in the film that much, but I liked when she showed up. I’ve heard people don’t like her and Heiji’s dynamic, but I do, so both of them, as a pair, are great. Inspector Nakamori was fun with the screen time he had during the first half. The kids were kind of slapped in there at the end, but they served their purpose so no real complaints. I do not get the deal with the rich brat and her butler stalking Heiji. Are they just a new pair I didn’t know existed until this film? Why are they here? How did they get away with chasing down the mafia in a helicopter and blowing $%@# up with no consequences?!
Everything with the swords was really neat, and then how they were used for what was essentially a high stakes treasure hunt was clever. If you haven’t noticed, I like mysteries that explain the science/history behind how the main plot device works or what makes it unique/special (Like the bullet train in Scarlet Bullet). This one had both and I like how the swords weren’t only the clues to lead the group in the direction of the treasure but also the key to get it. That and they’re swords, with Heiji in the film, so of course we’re going to use them in multiple fights. Really fun usage all around (and they're just really pretty swords).
The action, in general, was also really good. Like I just mentioned, we have multiple fights with the different swords, from the beginning heist, to the culprit attacking Heiji and Conan during the first half, the rush to get one of the swords away from the mafia, and the entirety of the final climax. There was enough action to keep the plot going, while not being overused or too much. Solid all around.
…
*sigh*
Okay, it’s about time I addressed the Elephant in the room…
I need to be completely honest… I already knew about the “big reveal” at the end of this film, the one that apparently broke the shipping community of this fandom.
Look, I’m not a shipper by any means, and if I do ship characters, it’s usually with already canon pairings (Yes, I’m a Shinran and Heizuha shipper, sue me), but omg, I heard about this film as soon as I started diving into this franchise. You guys are crazy… I love it.
So unfortunately, I had a bit of an expectation with this film going in… that didn’t exactly get met.
I know this is going to be super nitpicky and only a me problem, but this is literally the only reason this one isn’t going straight into Perfection Incarnate. I just don’t think they went far enough with some of the things they set up in this film, specifically surrounding Kaito and Shinichi’s family relationship.
Like, at the beginning of the film, Heiji is fighting Kaito on the roof, right? And Heiji gets an extremely brief look at Kaito’s face, and immediately is like, “Oh, he looks like Kudo.” Cut to about ten to fifteen minutes later, when Conan meets up with Heiji to start the actual case of the movie and there is a pause, as Heiji just looks at Conan, the scene completely silent for a good few seconds. It’s plain, to me at least, that Heiji is getting a good look at Conan/Shinichi in relation to what he had seen the night prior. Heiji does ask a bit later if Shinichi had siblings, which Shin says nah, it’s just a coincidence. Heiji shrugs it off and then never brings it up again for the rest of the film (as far as I remember anyway). Both of these interactions happen within the first half hour of the 2 hour long film. I get that it's set up for the later reveal that Kaito and Shinichi are cousins, but it feels like the reveal itself is just kind of tacked on at the end, rather than something that was properly built up throughout the film (And I know other characters point out the visual connection too but like… everytime it’s brought up, it feels like another piece that was tacked on at a random point, just to bring attention to it again rather than natural interactions between characters).
I think it would have been funny if Heiji just kept bringing it up throughout the movie, completely out of pocket whenever he is with one or the other (or both) alone (“Are y’all related or somethin’?” “Are ya sure?” “Come on, it can’t just be a coincidence!”), and just not getting a straight answer from either of them (nobody else brings up the visual connection either). Or, even better, the two straight up are just like, “Me? Related to a detective/thief? No way, not in a million years,” and then getting more and more frustrated with Heiji bothering them about it throughout the investigation. Heiji remains unconvinced throughout the movie, but eventually drops it by the end (probably around the climax or directly afterward)(he feels like he’s just going crazy, since nobody else sees it and just drops the entire thing with a huff). Cut to the post credits scene where Shinichi’s dad is just like, “Oh yeah, I guess they are related. Oops, shoulda told ‘em.” I know I’m playing it off as a joke… but it's more than what the film itself did with either of these plot points!
Aside from that and the kind of annoying rich simp (that got way to much screen time, in my opinion)… I love this movie. It’s got my two favorite characters interacting with a fairly engaging plot that doesn’t lose any steam. This legitimately is just a fun ride all the way through. I just wish there was more of it. For now, I’m putting this in Right Up My Alley, but I won’t lie, this is like tipping into Perfection Incarnate. I love this film, so I highly recommend you give this one a shot. It’s loads of fun.
Rated: High Right Up My Alley (A)
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Next week, we'll be taking a look at the most recent movie (as of writing this) in the franchise, Movie 28: One-Eyed Flashback.
Hello y'all and welcome back to the Case Closed Movie Ranking!
This week we are diving into the depths and taking a look at Movie 26: Black Iron Submarine!
Major Spoilers as per usual.
I was unironically not expecting this one to be as good as it was.
I just want to say, before we get started, that this is a gorgeous movie. There are some shots in past movies where I think the animation and shot composition is gorgeous, but this movie has it on another level. I genuinely could make so many screenshots from this movie into the background of my laptop. It's so pretty!
Anyway, the plot didn’t really start going until like 30 minutes in, but it was still entertaining with all the stuff about the face identifying system and the underwater computer network. Like, they did not need to go into it with as much detail as they did, but I’m not complaining, it was really cool.
But the second Hiabara gets kidnapped, we are in high tension for the rest of the film.
It’s not the most action packed movie and it doesn’t have the best mystery this franchise has ever seen, but oh my gosh they just kind of do everything right.
Hiabara’s kidnapping is straight up the best sequence in this film. It comes after this really nice scene of Conan reassuring Hiabara that nothing is going to happen and that he has her back, no matter what. And of course, in typical movie fashion, she gets kidnapped. But this whole sequence is just a pure rush of adrenaline as everyone rushes to try and save her from these people, even though they have absolutely no clue what these people are capable of. Ran fighting the new agent (Pinga), was awesome (I love that the detail that she gets a solid hit on them comes back later). The fact they have a sniper on their butts for a bit does not help with tension either. And then we get the entire chase sequence, which, while short, was also great. Agasa, I did not know you could be that aggressive of a driver my dude (though circumstances make this very valid). The kidnapping sequence ends with the Black Org driving off a flipping cliff into the ocean, with Conan desperately diving in after them. The moment they cut to Conan walking up to Agasa, who promptly breaks down into tears, after their failure to get Hiabara back breaks my heart. It was a really well done sequence and scene. No additional notes.
The vibes are fantastic. Everyone is high tension and super paranoid, even those not in the know. You can just tell from the energy Agasa and Conan are giving off, that they are both about to go ballistic for like 90% of this film, and rightfully so. Then Hiabara is just on the verge of a panic attack for most of the film and, again, rightfully so. This girl needs a freaking break. And, I don’t know what it is about what this movie does, but this makes me have a similar dread feeling as I did in movies like Captured in Her Eyes but cranked up to 11. I think it's just the looming threat that one of these characters could die if one of them makes the wrong move. I know that this is a movie in a long running franchise, so it’ll have a happy ending, but in the moment, you kind of forget that and go, “Oh, everyone could die if Hiabara, Agasa or Conan screw up.” It’s great and probably the best thing about this film.
The use of the black org was amazing. I don’t know if it’s just because this is the first film I’ve seen with them being the center of the plot (closest I’ve seen so far is Countdown to Heaven, but they weren’t really the main antagonist of that one, more of a looming presence), but I just really like their implementation. They are a threat and they are treated as such by everyone, even if they don’t have full context. It’s clear what they want and that they will go by any means necessary to get it. And it was a lot more horrific than I thought it would be. Like, they don’t do anything that isn’t pretty typical from canon, but I also wasn’t expecting to hear a young woman scream her head off as she watched her father get murdered. That was a lot more horrific to watch than I was expecting…
The other characters were great in their own right too. Agasa, I feel like I’ve talked about my feelings about him in this movie enough, but just his want to protect Hiabara, Conan/Shinichi, and the other kids is so sweet. This old man may be cheesy and a bit of a nutcase, but protect him with your life! Ran was kicking ass yet again, and I could not be more happy about it. She was great as usual. The other returning characters were also great and I’m happy to see them all in varying degrees throughout this film (I do have to ask though, since my skimming of Wiki’s didn’t really give me much, what is the deal with Amuro and Akia? They know each other through the Org, I get that, but is there something else going on there, or am I just over thinking it?).
I actually want to give a special shoutout to Naomi. While she is a new character for this film, she was used really well. I felt so bad for her with the absolute shit she has to go through in this movie since she is just a kind young woman who wanted to make the world a better place and find the little girl who had saved her, to apologize and thank her. Her intentions, while pure, put everyone, including herself, in danger, simply because of how powerful the technology she created was. It’s sad, but I’m glad she got a happy ending in the end. Her and Hiabara are the emotional crux of this film and they are great. Their interactions, while still bound by tension, were nice breathers. They are just really cute, I’m sorry.
The mystery element could have been better, but with everything else going on, it didn’t bother me as much as it could have. The mystery of “Who’s the traitor,” plays into the time limit we have in regards to those kidnapped, as well as the subsequent hacking and possible additional murders. It’s not the most in-depth mystery, but it gets the job done for what it’s supposed to be.
The climax was maybe not the most memorable, but honestly, I don’t care, it was still cool. The lady’s escaping the submarine with the help of Kir was great and makes sense, based on what I’ve learned about her in this movie. Vermouth coming in clutch with the reveal of the (fake) flaw in the All-Age system, making any suspicion that Hiabara is Sherry fly out the window for the majority of the Black Org was cool. Gin essentially goes, “I’m done with this shit. Freaking kill everyone,” and then they start trying to sink the Pacific Buoy was a cool centerpiece for everything else going on. The confrontation between Pinga and Conan was also great, with Pinga revealing the fact that, yes, they aren't stupid, and with the All-Age system, was able to get tangible proof that Conan is Shinichi. Like, I was not expecting them to go in that direction, but I’m not complaining (it doesn’t really go anywhere, but honestly, I would have been a bit confused if the system hadn’t been able to do the same thing with Shinichi). And then the final rush to stop the submarine was also fantastic. It was really cool, not much else to add lol.
And I think that’s everything! I’m surprised I had so much to say about this but, eh, it’s one of my new favorites, so sue me. This is a movie I highly recommend you watch, if you haven’t already (though, if you are a newer fan, I highly suggest you get at least semi familiar with the characters and main plot before jumping into this one).
Also, before this ends, I do have one thing to add, with absolutely no context.
Shippers, I get what you see in them now. It may not be a ship I’m sailing on, but I get where the wind in your sails is coming from.
Rated: Perfection Incarnate (S)
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Next week, we'll be looking at the much anticipated Movie 27: The Million-Dollar Pentagram!
Hello and welcome back to week 12 of the Case Closed Movie Ranking! After our short break, we're coming back with a boom as we take a look at and rank Movie 25: The Bride of Halloween!
Spoilers Ahead!
I was actually going to watch this one right around Halloween (as that was around the time I was originally bingeing these) but school and watch burnout both hit like trucks so I didn’t watch it until around Christmas. I actually think the extended break from watching these movies helped my enjoyment of this one.
The hook with the fake wedding overlapping with the one guy (Amuro? Rei? Bourbon?! He’s another one of those characters who has way too many names that I don’t know what to call him… at least all of his info is on one wiki page this time lol… I’ll just stick with Amuro) and his partner being attacked by the person with the bomb collars was awesome. It immediately got me hooked with what the deal was with both plots and how they would inevitably be connected. That doesn’t even mention the hook of how the characters actually get involved with the bomber case (Kogoro gets hit by a truck and is taken completely out of the film… give this man a break!).
Speaking of Amuro actually, despite looking him up and getting a brief summary about his existence, I’m not super familiar with him in general at this point since this is the first movie I’ve seen him in and I’m not that far into the manga yet (Current Shy here, I still haven’t met him in the manga lol), but he was fun. I like that, even though I don’t know him outside of this film, I get to know quite a bit about him because of the flashback we get with the origins of the bomber and the multiple scenes we have with him interacting with other characters. Despite being generally mysterious (that’s the vibe I’m getting from him anyway) he seems like a relatively nice dude with a badass streak. I mean he launches himself at a crashing helicopter just to make sure the culprit didn’t get away at the very end, which was raw as hell! I can’t wait to see more of him in future movies and the manga.
The action in general surprised me. There was just so much of it and it was all pretty awesome. The above clip is an absolute highlight of this, but there is the scene at the beginning, a second bombing that happens pretty soon after that, the discovery of a third bomb which also goes off, and the entirety of the climax. And I don’t think I even got them all. It was a bit of a surprise, but I ain’t complaining. Like I said, it was all awesome. And that’s not even mentioning the kidnapping and hostage part of the plot!
The mystery was also really well done, I think. It was another one of those movies where the mystery was simple enough to follow but complicated enough where I didn’t see who the culprit was or where it was going until right before the end. I did call who it was right before the reveal with the power of process of elimination, but it’s the first time in a while where I was able to do it and feel proud of myself for it. It was all paced really well to where nothing was getting stale or boring, but it wasn’t just rushing through clues to get where we needed to be. It was just really good!
While the climax ends with a bit of a deux ex machina, it was still really fun. There’s the whole reveal of the fact that the bomb they were looking for wasn’t in the wedding building but the entire intersection below it (which I can proudly say, I called [I’m sorry but neon pink and blue are not Halloween colors, bomber.]). There’s the whole fight with the bomber on the roof which is then followed by the previously mentioned helicopter fight with Amuro. And then you have everyone working together to essentially create a giant stopper to prevent the city from going nuclear. It was just a lot of fun all the way through.
(Sorry the clip is edited a little weird. I know I talk about the plot a lot and we do talk spoilers, but I don't really like revealing culprits, in case people want to watch the movies based off my rankings, so I edited this clip to try and take the culprit out as much as possible... all your really missing from this specific clip is Amuro decking the culprit in the face)
I did have some minor complaints but they are more me just wanting more of some things and minor nitpicks than anything else.
For one, I wish we had more stuff to do with Sato. Like, part of the initial hook was the whole grim reaper thing. I get what they were trying to get with, all her partners wind up dead and she fears that the love of her life might be next, but it doesn’t really… go anywhere? Like they bright it up and then it’s kind of just dropped. Takagi gets shot near the end, kind of like how he gets a fake shot at the beginning of the movie, but it doesn’t get brought up there either. I just wish they did more with it honestly, because Sato being haunted or thinking she brings the grim reaper to her partners is a fascinating idea. It’s a really minor nitpick but I thought it was worth mentioning. Though, I will add, Sato and Takagi are a really cute couple. I think they are my favorites of the recurring cop characters. I love them.
My other complaint was the one Russian assassin lady. Her whole deal wasn’t really explained until the end when she wanted to shoot the bomber. They then make it a whole deal that the bomber killed her son and she wants revenge, which honestly, completely fair (wish I had known that earlier, but whatever). Conan then jumps in front of her gun and goes, “No, you can’t do that (Also I remind you of your son, so you can’t shoot me).” She then bursts into tears and gets a hug, which, again, is completely fair, but it just feels… tacked on? Like they needed this lady to have an emotional backstory but they forgot to add it until the end and just shoved it awkwardly into the middle of the climax. It was out of place, completely took me out of the climax and was entirely rushed. If they had added more to it, or made that reveal earlier, I don’t think it would have bothered me as much, but as it is, it’s probably my only actual complaint.
Overall, while this movie isn’t perfect or even one of my favorites, I still had a lot of fun and I would highly recommend giving it a shot. It’s a blast (Pun completely intended)!
Ranking: Right Up My Alley (A)
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Next week, we'll diving into the depths to rank Movie 26: Black Iron Submarine.
Do you have any thoughts on the TADC finale showing in theaters earlier than it will be posted elsewhere? Really just seems like an attempt to use the fear of spoilers to drive ticket sales.
I can see how you'd arrive at that thought, but like... on a very basic level, that is just the business model of movie theaters. It used to be, once upon a time, that you could only see movies in theaters, so either you bought a ticket or you missed out forever.
Home video and eventually streaming comes along, now it's more of a timed exclusive deal, but "the fear of missing out" is, like... that's the business model. That's how The Movies™ work. It's how entertainment works in general, really. You go to a Broadway show or a play at the theater because if you don't buy a ticket to go see them, you're probably gonna miss out forever, most of those shows don't ever get filmed. Same with concerts—even if you've bought the album and can listen to it on repeat forever, that's not the same as seeing the music live, and if you don't buy tickets when the band is in town you might miss out forever. Hell, even shit that's going to drop on streaming as soon as physically possible like Marvel movies use FOMO to get people in theaters, that's what all those novelty popcorn buckets are.
So, yeah, it's a bit annoying to have to Matrix Dodge spoilers for two weeks, but, like... I've been doing that with movies and TV shows for as long as I've been alive, that's just what existing in culture is like. Many times in your life, other people are going to have seen something you really want to see before you can see it, and you have to ask them not to spoil, or you have to carefully curate your own interactions to avoid it.
TADC and Glitch aren't doing anything unique or egregious here, we've just gotten used to the instant, ubiquitous convenience of streaming and video-on-demand, and now that they are introducing some mild friction in order to create an extra special experience for a smaller segment of the fandom, it grates on us because we're not used to that being the norm as much anymore.
And also, not to be an old man here, but... if you get spoiled on TADC, you're probably gonna be alright. Like, you'll live, it's not actually going to hurt you. Some stories lose a lot of their impact when you lose the element of surprise, because the surprise is the impact, but that's usually a sign of an underlying weak construction.
If knowing that The Butler Did It ruins the experience of reading a mystery novel for you, then it wasn't actually a very good novel, it was just a mystery box keeping you hooked with the promise of a Big Reveal, and if all of the value is in the Big Reveal then the rest of the story is kinda wasting your time. Really good mystery fiction you can re-read again and again, regardless if you know every twist and secret, because the point of a good mystery novel isn't to find out what the mystery is, it is to be with the characters through the process of revelation. That's why people still read Hercule Poirot and Sherlock Holmes, it's why people re-watch Knives Out movies.
TADC isn't a mystery show to begin with, it's an ensemble character drama with a few worldbuilding mysteries to frame that drama. The staying power and appeal is seeing the characters Go Through It and be changed by their ordeals, and that will remain no matter how much of it is spoiled to you. If the show is any good, it will remain no matter how many times you re-watch it, too, and it will remain in twenty years when someone posts a clip from "this old show my mom used to be obsessed with" on social media and you feel a warm glow of recognition, even as your bones crumble to dust inside your body.
If it i's good art, it stays special no matter how well you know it. If it's not, honestly, a big spoiler ruining the whole thing for you isn't that big of a loss. It didn't really deserve your time, and better stories will come along.
Yeah, getting hit with a spoiler by some dipshit who went to a screening and can't keep their mouth shut will suck, probably, but it's not gonna ruin anything. It's just gonna suck a bit.
Welcome one and all to week 11 of the Case Closed Movie Ranking! This week, we're jumping ahead and looking at Movie 24: The Scarlet Bullet!
Spoilers ahead as per usual.
I have… very conflicting feelings with this movie.
Sera is back (a lot sooner in this binge than I initially thought) and she was a lot of fun. I don’t honestly have too much to say about her other than that, since I kind of just got more of what my first impression of her was. This isn’t a bad thing though. I thought she was really cool in the last movie, and now she’s moved up to being pretty awesome. I didn’t think we needed more kickass women in this franchise, but hey, I’m not complaining. I will say, I was a little confused on what she was doing with the little girl (her mom?!?) at the beginning of the film, but whatever (After looking into who that character was (Mary?) a bit, I’m still confused, but okay, it’s not super important to the plot of the movie, so I’ll let it slide).
I haven’t really talked about Akai yet, have I. Well, I technically met him in the last movie too, but I honestly just didn’t have a lot to say about that movie, and much less to say about him (and to be completely honest, I was just very confused by his entire existence. It does not help that the wiki divides up his two identities into two separate pages… I eventually figured it out). I don’t have a lot to say about him in this movie either, but I think he’s pretty cool. He’s another one of those characters I just need to spend more time with to really warm up to him, so I look forward to seeing him more in the future (though probably more in the manga than in these movies). However, I will say, as strange as the bullet thing he did was with the coveted “Scarlet Bullet,” I thought it was really cool. No notes.
I really liked the main mystery and setup of this one! I really liked all the science stuff in regards to how the bullet train worked and it being the main set dressing for the majority of the action for the film. I also liked how the mystery of the kidnappings, both past and current, were incorporated too, even if it was a bit clunky. The fact that the culprits (yes, I said culprits) were trying to recreate the tragedy that ruined their families lives just to get back at the people who caused it was really interesting and makes sense, though I wish we had spent a little more time on that end.
The fact that there were two culprits was a little out of left field, but also makes sense, so I’m not going to give the film flack for that. I actually think that makes it a fairly good twist. I did have my eyes on one of them throughout the entire film, but the fact that I was only half right got me. And it didn’t feel like an out of nowhere gotcha moment. It just kind of worked for me.
Oh, I also want to add that I found it odd that the entire cast kept referring to the culprits as “killers.” Neither of them actually killed anyone (Like they tried, but they hadn’t killed anyone prior to the group calling them that [or after for that matter], just kidnapping), so I’m a little confused on why they were being called that. Maybe it was just a translation error, but it was worth mentioning.
The climax was really good too. The tension of confronting the culprit on the train, the “scarlet bullet,” and then trying to stop the train before it crashed was really fun. Not the best action climax this series has had, but it was still a good time. It had no right having animation this awesome (this screenshot in particular is gorgeous).
So far, I’ve had a lot of positives to say about this film… so what’s the problem?
Well…
It’s kind of the everything surrounding the main plot that bothers me.
The kids. Why the hell were the kids involved in this film? With a dedicated minor sub-plot?! They help out in the opening sequence and then are promptly written out of the mystery to go f-off at a theater, until they are conveniently needed to come up with the solution for the climax… a solution that literally anyone could have given Conan and Sera. They did not need to be here and this is probably the first movie in a while where their inclusion to the plot actually annoys me (Though Sonoko getting stuck babysitting them was really funny).
Then there is the other sub-plot that takes up a lot of the run time. This side plot is with some guy and his girlfriend (or something). I think they are side characters from the main series, but in all honesty, I don’t know. I haven’t met them yet in the manga or in the other movies I’ve watched… or seen them in the basic run through of major characters I did when I started getting more invested in this series (even after looking him and the girl up through the power of the DCMK Wiki, I still don’t get who these people are). Regardless, it just makes their entire side plot even more stupid, because it not only grinds the interesting mystery to a halt whenever we cut to them, but it’s also mostly these two getting into uninteresting hijinx (specifically the woman who is completely drunk off her ass the majority of the film). The only tie these two have to the entire plot is literally when the guy runs into Akai at the most convenient time possible to be a chess master (and also the whole thing with Sera and the little girl she's with, but again, I don't get what's going on there or their connection and it's not ever really explained or brought up after a certain point). It is so pointless.
Actually, I think that’s the main problem with this film. It’s a bloated mess. Anything interesting that is happening is bogged down by two side-plots that are completely uninteresting and super irrelevant to the events going on throughout the rest of the film. This is not even mentioning the amount of characters. Look, I liked Sera and Akai, but I honestly wish it was just these two. There were the kids, the guy and his cop girlfriend, the normal cast (AKA Ran and Kogoro), Sonoko, Agasa, Haibara, and I didn’t even mention all the law enforcement characters in this film (yes, I’m going to skip over talking about the FBI characters again. I’ll actually talk about them when they are more relevant/interesting to a story aside from, “Let’s catch the bad guy!”).
The movie was fun, but had some major bloat that really drags it down for me. Maybe I’ll give it another try in the future but for now, this is not one I’ll be returning to anytime soon.
Ranking: Not For Me (C-)
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Since it's Easter next Sunday, I'm not going to be around much, so no ranking next week. However, when we get back, I'll be ranking Movie 25: The Bride of Halloween. See ya'll then!
Hello and welcome to week 10 of the Case Closed movie ranking! This week, we'll be looking at movie 18: The Sniper from Another Dimension/Dimensional Sniper!
Spoilers ahead, like normal.
I’ll be completely honest, this is going to be another rather short review. I, frankly, don’t have a strong opinion about any of this film or have anything worth saying. It’s just… okay, all around.
What happens in this one?
Sniping.
That’s pretty much it.
The sniper talk was kind of interesting but otherwise it was all kind of… meh?
It doesn’t get any more interesting than that, at least for me. Well, there are dice that show up at the sniping area of each shot made, but otherwise the movie centers around who the sniper is and why they are killing the people they are targeting.
Actually, speaking of the dice thing, even after they explained it, like three separate times, I still don’t get it. Something something, making a star to identify who the final person that is being sniped or something? I have no idea. It was really stupid honestly.
The second that they start talking about Hunter being the culprit and then continuing to not show the sniper, it’s pretty clear that he is a red herring (though it was kind of obvious that it was going in that direction prior to it being brought up). I kind of wish we spent more time with the initial three suspects, especially since one of them is the culprit. We literally see them for one scene and they are not brought up again. You will completely forget they exist until the one shows up to be the real culprit. It makes the reveal feel extremely underwhelming and not earned what-so-ever. It’s also so obvious in retrospect, and not in the clever way, like in Countdown to Heaven .
This was also my first time meeting Sera and I think she’s pretty cool. I just wish we had spent more time with her. I felt like we were supposed to get more time with her than we actually did. She had a really outstanding moment (diving off her moving motorcycle to take a bullet to the shoulder was pretty cool), but, similar to how I have felt with Kaito Kid, but to a lesser degree (since she hasn't been a character I was even aware of up until this point), I just don’t feel like I got enough time with her to really get a genuine impression from her. She was cool and I’m excited to see more of her in the future.
The government was also involved. They were interesting, I guess. Are they recurring characters? They seem like recurring characters. I don't have much to say about them either. They were kind of just there.
I don’t even have anything to say about the climax of this film. It’s just very… average. Nothing special that hasn’t been done better in any of the other films.
Um… I honestly don’t have anything else to add. Sorry for how short this review/ranking is. This is probably one of the most forgettable movies I’ve watched so far. No real flaws I can think of, aside from the suspects thing, but there really isn’t anything worth noting here either. It’s just a very average film. It's at very least, worse than Skyscraper. Very meh.
Ranking: It Was Fine (C)
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Next week, we will be making a bit of a jump to catch a ride with Movie 24: The Scarlet Bullet.
Edit: as you may have noticed, I’m going to try and post on Sundays from now on since it works better for me and there seems to be a bit more engagement.
Welcome back for week 9 of the Case Closed Movie Ranking!
This week we'll be taking to the slopes and rank movie 15: Quarter of Silence!
Spoilers, as per usual.
This is another movie that I heard was some people's favorite.
...
Is it rude to ask why?
Don’t get me wrong, this movie wasn’t bad at all! It was a pretty fun film overall (spoiler alert, but this movie is ranked in B tier), but it also felt… a little standard? Maybe I’ve already watched too many of these films, or maybe it’s because I’ve watched all of these pretty much back to back, but this one feels more like an extended episode than an actual movie until the climax. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing though, since it was still a rather fun watch; I’m genuinely just wondering what’s so special about this film that I’m not getting.
I don’t have too much to say on this movie, so this will probably be a shorter review than normal.
The beginning chase and action sequence was pretty cool. The setting of a winter wonderland was another fun change of pace too. A tiny ski resort town that’s got an enormous dam is a pretty fun setting, and I really liked it.
The main mystery wasn’t that interesting if I’m being honest. I didn’t see the culprit(s) coming, so I’ll give the movie that, but I just wasn’t engaged, I guess. The second they bring up the robbery from however long ago it was, it’s kind of obvious where they are going with that plot beat, though the coma kid did throw in a wrench as to how he was connected. I will say, I really like how the kids get tied into the mystery of this one, but we’ll get back to them in a bit. The red herring with the one lady was really good, not going to lie, though how she was implemented into the mystery was a bit clunky in my opinion. Not bad or that distracting by any means, just something worth noting.
I really like all the kids in this one, especially in relation to the coma kid. I love how he is basically a reverse of Shinichi and Haibara, a kid trapped in a teenager's body. You can see how disoriented and terrified this poor kid is. Then the detective boys show up, and they straight up just don’t care. All they want to do is help this poor kid remember what happened, cheer him up and protect him. They saw this dejected teenager and went, “You’re our friend now,” and dragged him out to figure out what happened and cheer him up, not really caring about his weird situation or the fact that he is bigger/older than them. It’s just really cute and sweet to see every time we cut to them. That and they are so protective of him too. It’s adorable. I love this little group. It’s the highlight of the entire film.
Sidenote: I know this movie isn’t canon, but I see this as a kind of reflection of how these kids will react when Shinichi gets his original body back. They won’t care that he is a teenager and way older than they were led to believe. He is still their friend, no matter what kind of body he’s in (These kids have absolutely no care in the world who their friends are. Once they have eyes on you, these three are going to be hooked at your hip for life.)
Anywho, we then get to the climax, and… well, here's the thing, I kept hearing about how cool the climax of this film was, and I don’t... really… get it? Like, it was cool, I suppose, but I don’t know, it wasn’t the best either. Again, it just may be the fact that I’ve watched so many of these films back to back, but I still wouldn’t consider it one of the best. I still thought it was cool though.
I will say, the ending where everyone is digging for Conan in the snow was pretty intense… if not a little melodramatic. Whatever, it was fine. We have to have the obligatory Shinichi and Ran scene somewhere (which they did earlier in the film… but I guess we gotta get another one in there in the climax too ( ¬▂¬)). It's not my favorite execution of this trope, but it functions for what is, so I'm not complaining.
Anyway, I’m glad this movie is one people like. I may not be one of its highest praisers, but I still think it’s worth a watch. Maybe you’ll get more enjoyment out of it than I did.
If this movie is one of your favorites, tell me why; I’m genuinely curious.
Ranking: Was a Fun Time (B)
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Next time, we'll be taking the high ground and talk about The Sniper from Another Dimension!
Welcome one and all to week 8 of the Case Closed Movie Ranking!
This week, we're taking to the skies and watching Movie 14: The Lost Ship in the Sky!
As usual, Major Spoiler Warning!
Welp…
I finally get the hype with Kaito Kid.
Man, it’s just back to back with finally understanding why people love these characters, huh.
(And discovering my favorite characters too lol)
We’ll come back to Kaito in a sec, there are just some other things I want to talk about first.
First, the setting. The fact that it all takes place in a (mostly) singular location is a nice change of pace. I like that we are mostly stuck on this flying death trap and the little that goes on outside of it is relegated to side characters (yay more Heiji content!). Running around the interior and exterior of the ship is loads of fun and keeps tensions high because of that limitation.
I really liked the mystery with this one, despite the fact I quickly clocked the traitor of the group. I liked the fact that they were more focused on where the “virus” was and the purpose of the terrorist attack on the airship than they were on who the person was that betrayed the ship (the fact that they tried to cover it up with one of the staff was clever… but you can’t fool me movie! I know your tricks!). The purpose of the attack was actually really interesting once they brought attention to it and explained it. Then Heiji (Which, yay! More Heiji content!) taking care of the problem on the ground was fun. His involvement was pretty minimal, but I like it regardless (The fact that a child is just kind of bullying him throughout the majority of his screentime is really funny).
The “virus” itself was a good tension builder, since it wasn’t very clear what was going on, both symptoms wise and spread wise. We just knew people were falling ill and falling fast. The contradicting information we were being given helps with the confusion but it’s also a great clue as to the true nature of what’s going on. My only real critique on that end is that the timing with some of the effects were… strange, especially after hearing about what it actually was. Ran definitely should have been showing symptoms way sooner than she actually was. I know it was done for dramatic effect, but still, it really bothered me once it was all explained. It’s honestly a bit nitpicky, but it was worth a mention.
The entire thing with the Siamese Cats was fascinating. The fact they were both used as the centerpiece of the mystery but also as a diversion from said mystery was both really interesting and really clever. Despite the fact that they are (spoiler) fakes, they are still a threat throughout the entire film. I like that the twist doesn’t introduce a new threat or completely upend the threat that these people exude, it mainly clarifies their primary goal and just introduces another variable into the mix.
The action was also really good. While the mystery is still center stage, like normal, the action was on point. The threat of bombs going off at any point was a good tension that lingered throughout the film and led to some fun action. Conan outsmarting a bunch of terrorists with guns like the cheeky little genius he is while running around disabling bombs was both really fun and just generally funny. Also, the fact that Conan not only gets caught after the initial bomb defusing and then promptly gets chucked out a window is both really hilarious in retrospect but also just leads to the best small action set piece and dynamic in the entire film.
Okay, now we’ll talk about Kaito.
He was an absolute joy. I don’t think I like him as much as Heiji, but he is definitely now up there among my favorites. I think the reason I finally started liking him after watching this film is because he’s just a very active participant all the way through. In the past two movies I’ve watched with him in it, he’s there for a bit as himself and then he goes into a disguise for the remainder of the time he’s on screen (which means he’s playing as someone else to try and fool the audience and the characters. The consequence of that is you don’t get to see a lot of Kaito as himself). While I think that’s fine, it doesn’t help me get an idea of Kaito’s personality at all, since he has to react and act like the person he’s disguising as. In this one, though, not only is his initial disguise instantly called out by Ran, but after that point, he doesn’t really hide the fact that he’s there, at least not to the audience. It also helps the fact that I feel like this is the first film I’ve watched where he’s actively being the Kid persona for the majority of the film. He’s such a freaking drama-queen and I love it. The sass? The banter? The dramatics?! Come on! And he's freaking adorable and just generally goofy on top of that! I mean, as soon as Conan and him are on the ground, he finds a flipping goat and starts chilling with it, just ‘cause he can. Could you find a better character? (Yes, because Hattori Heiji exists, but I digress)
Overall, I really love this one.
It’s not better than Countdown to Heaven (that movie is a masterpiece), but this is still up there I think. I love this one. You may disagree with me, but I’m going to put this in Perfection Incarnate. I really didn’t have issues with this movie aside from a logistics issue that doesn’t honestly affect my enjoyment of the film.
It was really entertaining and loads of fun. I highly recommend it.
Rating: Perfection Incarnate (S)
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Next week, we take to the slopes as we take a look at Quarter of Silence!
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