a beautiful love story between charlie kirk and king von. 🩷
10 days before the big C passes.
Charlie Kirk. A man who debates teenagers, starts his morning off by closing his rule34 and yaoi fan fiction tabs before his wife, Erika Kirk wakes. He checks his twitter to debate some more teenagers and texts his beloved, Donald Trump, "good morning". On the outside, an average Trump glazing, genocide supporting, abortion hating male. On the inside... He's a leftist who owns a secret twitter account under the name "ars0nsworld" with his pronouns set to "Xe/Xir/Xem". Late at night while his wife is sound asleep, he goes on ibisPaint to draw rule34 of his anime OC's
Before Erika wakes, Charlie always makes sure to be ready and leave for "work" so he doesn't have to speak or see her. On his way to debate college students (to impress the rednecks and crack addicts), he is blasting My Ordinary Life by The Living Tombstone on his bluetooth radio in his Tesla. While driving through a sketchy neighborhood, he spots a nonchalant dread head. This nonchalant dread head stares him down as he drives by. Charlie, forgetting he is somewhat famous, forgets his windows are down while My Ordinary Life is on full volume.
He arrives at work, walks to his seat, sits down and puts on his MAGA hat. People, already yelling and cheering, some booing. A familiar girl.. or person, with blue hair gets chosen to debate Charlie. Charlie tenses up, cheeks red and hot. The person that had been chosen to debate Charlie was his ex he doxxed on discord, named Bug. Of course he was under the name Arson and Bug didn't know it was him. "How are you, miss" Charlie asks. "Erm actually its xexireeitbug. Thanks for misgendering me you big headed swine" Charlie gets flustered to the mention of the pronouns, reminding him of his secret identity. Bug proceeds to debate him about the increase of doxxing and swatting in the country, and Charlie Kirk as usual proceeds to argue the opposite side like a good little trumpie.
As Charlie heads home, he sees that nonchalant dread head once again, he gets stopped by a red light, while still blasting The Living Tombstone. But this time it's Discord. The nonchalant dread head aims a GLOCK at Charlie, then pretends to shoot while blowing a kiss, but then winks at him. Charlie, confused as ever, starts driving, but forgets its a red light. A cop slowly approaches Charlies car as the cop was parked on the side of the road. Charlie hears and sees the sirens and pulls over, the cop gets out and slowly walks to Charlies car. "Ayyy Charlie my man!! You off the hook this time, Catch you later kirky boy". He then proceeds back to his car and Charlie drives away, thinking to himself.. "Such an odd day.. heh, cant wait to get home to write my gay smut gay story about my gay anime gay OC's".
As Charlie walks in to his home, he walks to the fridge, and cracks open a cold one (Soylent). Erika walks in. "You're late!! What is your excuse this time?". Charlie responds angrily, "None of your damn business you dumb bitch, go get your roots done you fake blonde and maybe get a boob job, the left is bigger than the right." He finishes his Soylent and proceeds to throw the empty bottle at Erika's head, knocking her out on the floor. As he walks to his room leaving his unconscious wife on the floor (W Kirk moment), he starts removing his PANTS, but suddenly trips on his pant leg, somehow stumbles back and falls face first on to his PANTS. he gets a good whiff of his good khaki PANTS (his Sunday's best of course). After successfully removing his PANTS, he then proceeds to jerk it a little while sniffing his PANTS because they still smell like his ex, Bug. Suddenly, Erika appears behind, and she goes, "WHAT are you doing with your PANTS?". "Oh, Erika, i didn't expect you to get up this fast after i socked you with that Soyslop. I guess i really Soyled your PANTS." Erika proceeds to grab the Soylent bottle and whack him over the head and knocks him out. All while Charlie is still holding his PANTS.
Charlie wakes up tied to bed, frightened, with soiled PANTS. "You've been a bad bad boy, Charlie. Or should i say, Arson." Erika says while she walks through the bedroom door with a new botched balayage. Charlie soils his PANTS even more. "YOU RUINED YOUR SUNDAY'S BEST, CHARLIE." Erika screams. "I-I... Who is Arson heh." Charlie says. "I should be asking the same thing. I looked at your computer." Erika exclaims. Erika pulls out a mixtape, with only The Living Tombstone on it. She plays it, without saying a word. She pulls out a Kamala 2024 flag and proceeds to take off all of his clothes. She walks over to the desk in their bedroom, pulls out a sewing machine, and makes him a Kamala flag bikini. She dresses him with the Kamala bikini and proceeds to take pictures of him in every angle. She then posts these pictures on his main twitter account.
This would be the reason he gets killed...
Hey... Its me... Von..
I died years ago, but still roam free in Charlie Kirks head.
Hearing Charlies cries for help as Erika is tying him up and edging him with the Kamala bikini. Suddenly, King Von, with his magical ghost powers, snatches Erika's implant out of her tittie. She screams, "NOW THE RIGHT ONE IS BIGGER THAN THE LEFT!". Von reaches for the phone that Erika took the pictures on, but it was too late. Erika had already posted the pictures, the likes, comments, and screenshots were flowing in. Twitter posts and TikTok videos were being posted. Nobody knew this would lead to Charlies passing. King Von is suffering in sadness and guilt that he couldn't be there for him sooner, but unfortunately, Charlie Kirk's fate was already sealed, there was nothing anybody could do.
Erika runs out of the house, and thats the last anyone has seen of her. Von reaches to untie Kirk and dress him in his normal clothes. "Who are you?" Charlie questions. "Im King Von, a rapper, i died a long time ago". "How can i see you then? If you're dead." "This might be a shock or hard to hear but.. Im your soulmate Charlie. While I was up in heaven I got sucked down to earth because of how strong our love is. And i know about your real identity, Arson." Charlie Kirk blushes... "Dont untie me yet then... Daddy Von". "No Charlie! This is supposed to be a beautiful blossoming love story, lets take it slow, okay kirkyhun?" Charlie then goes red in the face, flustered by his hyper sexuality. "Von, take off my PANTS" Charlie yells. "Woah Charlie, this feels like SA." An image of Eminem without PANTS pops into Charlies mind and starts rapping about "i got so many essays, S A's". "Charlie your in a such vulnerable state right now, i cant take advantage of you, although i wish i could." .....
got so many essays S A's
Time skip to the day before Charlies end.
Von and Kirk have been living in Charlies home for a week having a good time, Von helps Charlie prepare for his debate tomorrow in Utah. "You're going to do good, I know it Kirky."
They drive to Starbucks. Charlie orders his signature mint majesty with two honeys, Von orders nothing because he's nonchalant. They drive back home. They walk into their home, Charlie pushes Von up against the wall aggressively but sexually. "Ive been waiting for this moment, Von." Charlie moans. "Me too, Kirky. Why dont you put on that sexy Kamala bikini for daddy Von." Charlie steps back.. "No... No no no NO!" He gets flashbacks of Erika berating him, he starts to cry and whimper a little. Von steps away, "Im sorry, Charlie.". He then walks to the bathroom, pulls up the pictures he saved of the Kamala bikini incident and takes off his PANTS. takes off his underwear, then starts jorkin it. After he's finished, he greets Charlie Kirk out there and pulls out a brand spankin new, King Von bikini he had in his bag all along. Charlie, filled with excitement, runs to the bedroom and throws himself on to the bed, "Oh, Von. Take me.". Von gets on top of Kirk and slips in his bbc... You can imagine the rest.
The day of Kirks death.
Charlie and Von land in Utah, they gather their things and head to where they would be staying. In a few hours will be Charlies debate he has to attend to, but will be his last. "Oh Von! Im so excited to debate college students, it gets me all riled up!" .. "Im happy for you, Charlie. Now lets head to the debate, you cant be late." BARS. They arrive at the debate, Charlie sits in his seat, Von standing behind him, but nobody can see him but Kirk. The first person comes up, then the second, third, fourth, then the last. Their conversation goes on... "......Counting or not counting gang violence" ... PEW.. A loud noise, a gun shot, piercing through viewers ears, piercing through Charlies NECK. As the blood flows out of his neck, Charlie wasn't afraid, he was happy. Happy to live his life in heaven with King Von. As his last 7 minutes flash through his eyes, all he sees is that bbc rising across his face. Those were the best 7 minutes of his life, he came a little. (Found in autopsy BTW)
As a bright white light blinds him he starts to open his eyes weakly, he sees a beautiful set of stairs and Von in front of him guiding him to their beautiful love life that will last for eternity. Theres doves in the sky, beautiful white flowers, clouds forming. "Im forming my own cloud here" Charlie Kirk says. Once they get there, he's greeted by God himself. God tells him that he's a brave boy that accepted himself in his love for King Von. God lets them through the gate and they live happily ever after.
Meanwhile on earth.
Eminem is on tour singing his famous rap songs. "I can rhyme orange and banana, bornana." The crowd boos him because his bars are so terrible and he's so old he cant even rap anymore. They throw tomato's, used thongs, and stones. Unfortunately for Eminem, one of the stones hits him on the head knocking him out cold, killing him. The same for Charlie, Eminem sees a bright light and the same set of stairs. He proceeds to slowly walk up these pearly stairs and up to the pearly gates. Before he tries and enters, God stops him. "Where do you think you're going bitch boy?" God says. "Uh uh uhh, i just died, im going to heaven, right?" "Uh uh uhh no? you got to many S A's" God then proceeds to hit him over the head with a stone and banishing him to hell. Eminem lands in hell and sighs.. "Bornana".
"and im kanye west!"
